Delaying a divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: am I crazy or there are other women with such logics as well? I just don't see how it would be easier for me if I divorce and live my modest life, when the jerk would bring his whore in the house where I bought our baby. And my son would have to spend 50% with the whore.

Modest life? You cannot be serious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would file for divorce and ask for 1/2 the family business or life long alimony, child support and 1/2 of all real-estate and assets. Don't wait till you find a job. You own half that business. You worked in that business so that was your job.

And, make a custody schedule where he is responsible 50% of the time. Stop playing nice.

What are you waiting for?

If I file for a divorce and split it like that, I would be moving out from the large house we currently all live in (my ex will retain it, and I will retain smaller one as I can't afford the large one), into a much smaller townhouse or even an apartment. I will live on 120K net annual income (down from 440K current net income). I won't be getting much alimony or child support because of the assets that I would be getting in the divorce, and because I married my jerk very young and I am in my early 40s. I feel like he would increase his lifestyle and net income divorcing by 72% and my standard of living will go down significantly. I don't want that to happen, until I am able to "make up" at least some of that lost income.

Plus, I don't want to split the custody 50/50 - my child is in high school and I want to have 100% time with him the last years before I send him off to college....

I don't plan to date, re-marry, I hate men and just want to grow my child until college in the house where he was born.

I have a good lawyer. He thinks it is beneficial for me to delay, as all marital assets (including the jerk pension) are appreciating, the longer we are married.

He had a 5-year long affair, with mental and financial infidelity.

Your post makes no sense. You should get 1/2 the assets and business. And, $120K net income is a fantastic income so I don't get what you are complain about. Child support has nothing to do with assets and it has to do with income and custody. You will be just fine on $120 a year. Your post makes zero sense to me as we live on that as a family.

I would have to rent an apartment from that 120K income. My actual net income would be much lower. My husband will pay some child support but not alimony. I just feel that being separated I am still better off, and can study and apply for jobs without worrying about tomorrow. My jerk was obligated by the lawyers to support the family financially during separation.

You cannot be for real. $120 plus child support a year is very good.

NP here - nope if she's used to 440.

[Anonymous]

OP- I’d listen to your lawyer and even get another professional opinion. I would not listen to the screw him and leave reactionary women. Yes-divorce. But, timing will be everything. Do t show him your hand if you plan to delay...while you secretly plot your exit. And- yes—protect those finances now.

I make $165k and married to somebody that makes $450k so I understand it would be a lifestyle change. I also “mommy tracked” with a job I could do from home. These decisions are made at the time for the good of the family and you should not be penalized for it.

He sounds like a real ass bragging about how great his life is going to be. What a loser. Any chick banging him is a complete loser too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- I’d listen to your lawyer and even get another professional opinion. I would not listen to the screw him and leave reactionary women. Yes-divorce. But, timing will be everything. Do t show him your hand if you plan to delay...while you secretly plot your exit. And- yes—protect those finances now.

I make $165k and married to somebody that makes $450k so I understand it would be a lifestyle change. I also “mommy tracked” with a job I could do from home. These decisions are made at the time for the good of the family and you should not be penalized for it.

He sounds like a real ass bragging about how great his life is going to be. What a loser. Any chick banging him is a complete loser too.

Thank you for understanding that 120k standard of living and 440 combined standard of living is totally different. His child support won’t “make up” the difference for me. I had a good corporate job before “mommy tracking” to a smaller family business. While I managed our business successfully (in some years making way more than my husband on real estate), he was climbing up the corporate ladder. His mistress is his subordinate and a business partner - she’s making way more than me. I feel like he used me for childbearing and home making in my prime years, then screwed me just before his own retirement (he’s in mid 50s), to depart for even wealthier pastures.
My retirement plans were build around my family!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: am I crazy or there are other women with such logics as well? I just don't see how it would be easier for me if I divorce and live my modest life, when the jerk would bring his whore in the house where I bought our baby. And my son would have to spend 50% with the whore.

Wait... this woman your husband loves and is having a long-term affair with is a prostitute? He paid her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- I’d listen to your lawyer and even get another professional opinion. I would not listen to the screw him and leave reactionary women. Yes-divorce. But, timing will be everything. Do t show him your hand if you plan to delay...while you secretly plot your exit. And- yes—protect those finances now.

I make $165k and married to somebody that makes $450k so I understand it would be a lifestyle change. I also “mommy tracked” with a job I could do from home. These decisions are made at the time for the good of the family and you should not be penalized for it.

He sounds like a real ass bragging about how great his life is going to be. What a loser. Any chick banging him is a complete loser too.

Thank you for understanding that 120k standard of living and 440 combined standard of living is totally different. His child support won’t “make up” the difference for me. I had a good corporate job before “mommy tracking” to a smaller family business. While I managed our business successfully (in some years making way more than my husband on real estate), he was climbing up the corporate ladder. His mistress is his subordinate and a business partner - she’s making way more than me. I feel like he used me for childbearing and home making in my prime years, then screwed me just before his own retirement (he’s in mid 50s), to depart for even wealthier pastures.
My retirement plans were build around my family!

What a f@cker! I’m so sorry. She’s no prize to do that to another woman/family. Bad morals and character all the way around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would file for divorce and ask for 1/2 the family business or life long alimony, child support and 1/2 of all real-estate and assets. Don't wait till you find a job. You own half that business. You worked in that business so that was your job.

And, make a custody schedule where he is responsible 50% of the time. Stop playing nice.

What are you waiting for?

Hahahahahahahahah life long alimony hahahahaha please stop

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: am I crazy or there are other women with such logics as well? I just don't see how it would be easier for me if I divorce and live my modest life, when the jerk would bring his whore in the house where I bought our baby. And my son would have to spend 50% with the whore.

Wait... this woman your husband loves and is having a long-term affair with is a prostitute? He paid her?

From what I read, he took out a home equity line to pay this whore. So, yeah, she’s essentially a prostitute. It’s not like she’d be banging him if he wasn’t paying . In the words of Kanye: She ain’t messin with no broke n@@@

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: am I crazy or there are other women with such logics as well? I just don't see how it would be easier for me if I divorce and live my modest life, when the jerk would bring his whore in the house where I bought our baby. And my son would have to spend 50% with the whore.

Wait... this woman your husband loves and is having a long-term affair with is a prostitute? He paid her?

Kind of a corporate prostitute, yes. She is a subordinate and he sets her salary (that went up from 60k in 2015 to 350k in 2020, no counting her contracting gigs he finds for her with procurement and splits 70/30).
Unfortunately I can’t report it to his employer as we are still married and restitution would affect my family finances. He might have firefight pension fund where I also have an interest.

[Anonymous]

OP here correcting auto correct - forfeit the pension fund

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: am I crazy or there are other women with such logics as well? I just don't see how it would be easier for me if I divorce and live my modest life, when the jerk would bring his whore in the house where I bought our baby. And my son would have to spend 50% with the whore.

Why would he get the house? Sell it or you buy him out.

A good lawyer should be able to get you 50%.

Think of your kid. You will have a miserable child if you stay like this. Behaving like children not adults.

Divorce him and move on for your child's sake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would file for divorce and ask for 1/2 the family business or life long alimony, child support and 1/2 of all real-estate and assets. Don't wait till you find a job. You own half that business. You worked in that business so that was your job.

And, make a custody schedule where he is responsible 50% of the time. Stop playing nice.

What are you waiting for?

Hahahahahahahahah life long alimony hahahahaha please stop

OP here: I am waiting to finish my courses to sit for CPA and take as many exams as I can prior divorce actions, to upper my resume. I am not able to find a job at the moment at all! And I was making 100k 10 years ago.

My lawyer and several others told me I would not get life long alimony in DC as 1) I am young 2) I am educated 3) I will be getting assets in the divorce 4)my son is 15.

I don’t want to move out from my NWDC mansion until I get a job. I won’t be even asking for alimony - 50k/year for 2 years won’t make me a big difference and I will be under higher stress when living alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: am I crazy or there are other women with such logics as well? I just don't see how it would be easier for me if I divorce and live my modest life, when the jerk would bring his whore in the house where I bought our baby. And my son would have to spend 50% with the whore.

Why would he get the house? Sell it or you buy him out.

A good lawyer should be able to get you 50%.

Think of your kid. You will have a miserable child if you stay like this. Behaving like children not adults.

Divorce him and move on for your child's sake.

I don’t have the borrowing capacity to buy him out from a 3mm mansion. My son says he’s fine living like that because he basically lives with me in the main house and his dad stays in a carriage house away from us but on the same property

[Anonymous]

My ex left over the summer. My 2 kids live with me and I make 85k. I don’t get anything from him except he pays the mortgage on the house me and the kids live in. He cheated on me for years and is still with the woman. My peace of mind with him being out of this house is worth more than any amount of money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex left over the summer. My 2 kids live with me and I make 85k. I don’t get anything from him except he pays the mortgage on the house me and the kids live in. He cheated on me for years and is still with the woman. My peace of mind with him being out of this house is worth more than any amount of money.

But you stayed in your house for which he pays mortgage, right? Your kids were not uprooted with him moving out? My life will have to change, and my son would be splitting time and possibly living in his birthplace home with his whore