Is this rude?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me just start fresh here. I'm struggling with my relationship with my in laws. DH and I are in marriage counseling due to his allowing his family to abuse me for years. I agreed to give my inlaws another chance as long as DH is the one that handles them. I get easily defensive when it comes to my inaws, which is why DH is supposed to handle them. I'm not psychotic or unhinged. I'm just greatly struggling to move past everything that has happened in the past.

You aren't helping yourself here. You are just as abusive as you claim they are. Your passive aggressive behavior is entirely unhealthy. And if your DH is supposed to handle them, then why are you texting your SIL? You are guilty of encouraging any bad behavior they exhibit and you are also guilty of stoking the fire. Seriously, get off DCUM, and the internet as a whole, and call your therapist. You *are* unhinged. Your posts here and the behavior you describe is psychotic.

I've already acknowledged that I shouldn't have deleted SIL. I am not perfect, but I am not abusive. SIL literally shoved me while I was holding my infant child. There is so much more to this story. I deleted her instead of just asking her because I'm afraid of her.

Aw crap. You've already created another generation of crazy

It's never okay to call an innocent child crazy. Check yourself PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I give up. I suck. I'll do everyone a favor and stay out of their lives.

Again, with the drama!

Good god what do you want from me? I screwed up. I take responsibility. I thought this was a safe place to vent. I never dreamed id wind up bullied and feeling terrible about myself.

Have you ever been here before? First of all, there are no safe places on the internet. Second of all, there are nasty and judgmental comments on every DCUM post.

And if you don't like how you're being talked to, STOP POSTING. WALK AWAY. It's that simple. Either you are utterly clueless or you really enjoy stirring up drama.

Not possible. OP knows how to do nothing BUT engage, as she's proved here over and over. She has to have the last word explaining why she is right

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:op, i dont agree with DCUM here. i think you mafe a mistake blocking SIL from fb, but you owned that. everyone hete is unfairly giving you a hard time. everyone comes on here to vent every onve in a while.

i think you shoulkd juyst cvontinue doing what you're doing. let dh do the communicating.

the one thing id keep an eye out for though is as your dd is growing, make sure the inlaws dont bad mouth you in front of her. if they do thst, you and dh need to disengage again for good.

OP, you really shouldn't sockpuppet. If you are, you need to switch to a computer because the spelling mistakes that came out of your phone are almost identical to the ones you had when you posted your "BIL's FB post".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:op, i dont agree with DCUM here. i think you mafe a mistake blocking SIL from fb, but you owned that. everyone hete is unfairly giving you a hard time. everyone comes on here to vent every onve in a while.

i think you shoulkd juyst cvontinue doing what you're doing. let dh do the communicating.

the one thing id keep an eye out for though is as your dd is growing, make sure the inlaws dont bad mouth you in front of her. if they do thst, you and dh need to disengage again for good.

OP, you really shouldn't sockpuppet. If you are, you need to switch to a computer because the spelling mistakes that came out of your phone are almost identical to the ones you had when you posted your "BIL's FB post".

The errors from BIL are 100% BIL and I did not post what you're quoting. That you can ask Jeff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:op, i dont agree with DCUM here. i think you mafe a mistake blocking SIL from fb, but you owned that. everyone hete is unfairly giving you a hard time. everyone comes on here to vent every onve in a while.

i think you shoulkd juyst cvontinue doing what you're doing. let dh do the communicating.

the one thing id keep an eye out for though is as your dd is growing, make sure the inlaws dont bad mouth you in front of her. if they do thst, you and dh need to disengage again for good.

OP, you really shouldn't sockpuppet. If you are, you need to switch to a computer because the spelling mistakes that came out of your phone are almost identical to the ones you had when you posted your "BIL's FB post".

I'm the poster you're quoting and it's absolutely not OP. All the typos was because my tablet at home was acting up and slow and I didn't realize the errors until I hit "submit" but seriously, ask Jeff. I am NOT the OP and I absolutely believe that DCUM is being awful here to OP.

OP I just wrote my post because I just felt so bad that you were being ganged up on by DCUM. like I said above - you owned your mistake, but seriously I would just back away from the family and tell your DH not to tell you what they say about you. Let him deal with them. Think of it this way - let them expend all their energy and time hating on you. You spend your energy and time on your DH, DD and your own life. When you realize that your life is much better - and you are in a better place - because you stopped spending your energy on them, you'll have a certain peace over yourself.

But I just want to reiterate that you need to be careful that as DH deals with them and your minimal, polite interactions with them occur, that you make sure there aren't passive-aggressive bad comments made about you in front of your dd. That could be bad and you'd have to - at that time- step in.

Sorry DCUM is being so awful to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:op, i dont agree with DCUM here. i think you mafe a mistake blocking SIL from fb, but you owned that. everyone hete is unfairly giving you a hard time. everyone comes on here to vent every onve in a while.

i think you shoulkd juyst cvontinue doing what you're doing. let dh do the communicating.

the one thing id keep an eye out for though is as your dd is growing, make sure the inlaws dont bad mouth you in front of her. if they do thst, you and dh need to disengage again for good.

OP, you really shouldn't sockpuppet. If you are, you need to switch to a computer because the spelling mistakes that came out of your phone are almost identical to the ones you had when you posted your "BIL's FB post".

I'm the poster you're quoting and it's absolutely not OP. All the typos was because my tablet at home was acting up and slow and I didn't realize the errors until I hit "submit" but seriously, ask Jeff. I am NOT the OP and I absolutely believe that DCUM is being awful here to OP.

OP I just wrote my post because I just felt so bad that you were being ganged up on by DCUM. like I said above - you owned your mistake, but seriously I would just back away from the family and tell your DH not to tell you what they say about you. Let him deal with them. Think of it this way - let them expend all their energy and time hating on you. You spend your energy and time on your DH, DD and your own life. When you realize that your life is much better - and you are in a better place - because you stopped spending your energy on them, you'll have a certain peace over yourself.

But I just want to reiterate that you need to be careful that as DH deals with them and your minimal, polite interactions with them occur, that you make sure there aren't passive-aggressive bad comments made about you in front of your dd. That could be bad and you'd have to - at that time- step in.

Sorry DCUM is being so awful to you.

I agree. I'm definitely taking major steps back and spending time away. I think severely limiting contact will help. Thank you for your kind words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I posted some pictures of me, DH, and our nephew. Our DS wasn't in a picture taking mood. I posted the pictures to Facebook and SIL comments and says "he sure loves his uncle John".

I think it's quite rude. Passive and rude. People are sneaky that way and it's rude!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me just start fresh here. I'm struggling with my relationship with my in laws. DH and I are in marriage counseling due to his allowing his family to abuse me for years. I agreed to give my inlaws another chance as long as DH is the one that handles them. I get easily defensive when it comes to my inaws, which is why DH is supposed to handle them. I'm not psychotic or unhinged. I'm just greatly struggling to move past everything that has happened in the past.

You aren't helping yourself here. You are just as abusive as you claim they are. Your passive aggressive behavior is entirely unhealthy. And if your DH is supposed to handle them, then why are you texting your SIL? You are guilty of encouraging any bad behavior they exhibit and you are also guilty of stoking the fire. Seriously, get off DCUM, and the internet as a whole, and call your therapist. You *are* unhinged. Your posts here and the behavior you describe is psychotic.

I've already acknowledged that I shouldn't have deleted SIL. I am not perfect, but I am not abusive. SIL literally shoved me while I was holding my infant child. There is so much more to this story. I deleted her instead of just asking her because I'm afraid of her.

Aw crap. You've already created another generation of crazy

It's never okay to call an innocent child crazy. Check yourself PP.

I think this poster was calling op crazy, not the child. Step away from the ledge!

[Anonymous]

OP, the SIL is mean. Delete her and keep her at arm's length. Press your husband to set boundaries with his family and respect you.

I'm sorry this whole thread jumped you. If you need support, it's not coming from here. If the thread had supported you, it would have ended on page 2 vs 10-11.

Rude. The original FB post was rude! You are right to delete and demand better from your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think OP thinks it's rude because SIL didn't say, "he sure loves his Uncle John AND Aunt Sensitivia."

Omg, this made me spit my water all over my computer screen!

[Anonymous]

I think your biggest mistake was deleting her off of Facebook (and I apologize if someone has already suggested this, but this is a REALLY long thread... I don't have time to read 10 pages).

If this woman has really made it her mission to make you miserable, you just gave her the greatest satisfaction ever.
By deleting her, she knows she got to you & but good and she is feeling pretty good about herself right now.

I also, have a passive aggresive sister-in-law & the greatest advice I've ever received was to kill her with kindness or don't react at all.

When she wrote that post, you knew exactly what her intention was. The way you should have handled it was to say "and his uncle loves his back!" with a big ole' smiley face next to it!
Not only are you showing her that her petty, immature bullshit doesn't faze you in the least, but you're also showing EVERYONE else that YOU are indeed the bigger person (because believe me, everyone else sees her cattiness for what it is too).

Or, you shouldn't have reacted at all... but either way you're showing her that she doesn't bother you any more & eventually she'll give up on this crap if she sees she's not effecting you & she's just wasting her time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think your biggest mistake was deleting her off of Facebook (and I apologize if someone has already suggested this, but this is a REALLY long thread... I don't have time to read 10 pages).

If this woman has really made it her mission to make you miserable, you just gave her the greatest satisfaction ever.
By deleting her, she knows she got to you & but good and she is feeling pretty good about herself right now.

I also, have a passive aggresive sister-in-law & the greatest advice I've ever received was to kill her with kindness or don't react at all.

When she wrote that post, you knew exactly what her intention was. The way you should have handled it was to say "and his uncle loves his back!" with a big ole' smiley face next to it!
Not only are you showing her that her petty, immature bullshit doesn't faze you in the least, but you're also showing EVERYONE else that YOU are indeed the bigger person (because believe me, everyone else sees her cattiness for what it is too).

Or, you shouldn't have reacted at all... but either way you're showing her that she doesn't bother you any more & eventually she'll give up on this crap if she sees she's not effecting you & she's just wasting her time.

^^ Sorry, same poster... I hit send by accident. ^^

One last thing... this is all about pride, your pride, her pride.
Pride SUCKS and are some people's greatest downfall... it's also an obvious sign of immaturity.
Drop your pride... don't respond aggressively or passive aggressively.

Play her game, only play it better... like an adult would & don't sweat the small stuff!

[Anonymous]

Np here. This thread got hijacked by a rabid band of vicious trolls. Op - your gut was right. SIL's FB comment was a bitch slap toward you and of course context matters. I don't even think it was overreacting that you deleted her! But then again I never agree with the trolls on this board. It is a hateful evil place. You were bullied. No other word for it. And I bet it is the same bitchy troll or two making all the hateful comments.
You're in therapy.
You're taking the therapists advice. So keep doing that and trust your gut.