Son and DIL hate me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a son problem. My son called to tell me he didn't let his wife know that I was coming. He just wants me to let it go and says it will all smooth over.

And you know why he's got a problem?

It's because you are overbearing and his wife isn't a doormat.

STEP BACK.

Why is it overbearing to want to go on a trip you're paying for? I discussed in advance with my son. He agreed. I'm the problem here?

You are not the problem. Your DIL is an ass. My ILs pay for vacations too. Never did it occur to me that they would not be coming.

Seriously, if only my ILs would pay for a Disney trip. They have never given my kids anything above a $25 gift card (and yes they can afford it). I can't stand my ILs, but in this circumstance would happily go on a trip with them for the sake of my kids.

What if your husband's ex, who the ILs consider family, also tagged along?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Such a toxic environment. Poor kids.

Cancel the trip. It won't do anyone any good. I know I'd rather skip Disney than go with a crazy MIL.

I'm guessing that MIL had a little hand in her son's divorce #1.

Op, you are too involved in your son's romantic life and you will drive any decent woman away from him. Is that what you want? If so, you may consider talking this out with a therapist because this whole dynamic is not healthy.

Exactly. Why is MIL's house the court-ordered meeting place for DH's child with ex-wife? MIL should have no place in that relationship, except for grandmother to grandson.

DIL could have been more gracious in declining the trip for the family for sure, but based on DH's past history in allowing MIL to have a place in his relationship with ex, DIL probably felt the need to take extreme measures in enforcing a cut-off.

I'm guessing you would also be the first one to complain about grandparents not wanting to see the grandkids enough. I'm not a MIL, but this thread just proves that you can't win no matter what.

Actually, I don't want DH's mother or sister near my cats, much less children if we had any.

[Anonymous]

Wait, so ex DIL and current DIL are Facebook friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a son problem. My son called to tell me he didn't let his wife know that I was coming. He just wants me to let it go and says it will all smooth over.

And you know why he's got a problem?

It's because you are overbearing and his wife isn't a doormat.

STEP BACK.

Why is it overbearing to want to go on a trip you're paying for? I discussed in advance with my son. He agreed. I'm the problem here?

You are not the problem. Your DIL is an ass. My ILs pay for vacations too. Never did it occur to me that they would not be coming.

Seriously, if only my ILs would pay for a Disney trip. They have never given my kids anything above a $25 gift card (and yes they can afford it). I can't stand my ILs, but in this circumstance would happily go on a trip with them for the sake of my kids.

What if your husband's ex, who the ILs consider family, also tagged along?

I don't see the OP saying anything about that. But frankly if I had married a man with children I would have to accept vthat his ex would be in my life to some extent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a son problem. My son called to tell me he didn't let his wife know that I was coming. He just wants me to let it go and says it will all smooth over.

And you know why he's got a problem?

It's because you are overbearing and his wife isn't a doormat.

STEP BACK.

Why is it overbearing to want to go on a trip you're paying for? I discussed in advance with my son. He agreed. I'm the problem here?

You are not the problem. Your DIL is an ass. My ILs pay for vacations too. Never did it occur to me that they would not be coming.

Seriously, if only my ILs would pay for a Disney trip. They have never given my kids anything above a $25 gift card (and yes they can afford it). I can't stand my ILs, but in this circumstance would happily go on a trip with them for the sake of my kids.

What if your husband's ex, who the ILs consider family, also tagged along?

I don't see the OP saying anything about that. But frankly if I had married a man with children I would have to accept vthat his ex would be in my life to some extent.

Op didn't say that the ex was invited. But the ex's child was invited and Op considers this ex dil to be "family"....so, yeah, I put 2 and 2 together...

[Anonymous]

^And, of course, when you have a child together the ex is going to remain a part of your life. You do not have to vacation with them. Oh heck no.

[Anonymous]

Any update on this? OP, what happened?