Son and DIL hate me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All you people ranting on are ignoring that this was only a surprise because of the son. I suspect MIL would not object to the family taking a vacation without her. What is at issue here is a MIL that offered to pay for an expensive vacation that she would go along on. There is nothing inherently wrong with that and the family could have declined if they did not want to go. The disconnect here is that the son did not tell his wife MIL was coming along and the son clearly has communication issues.

I am sorry MIL, the mistake you made, if any, was in raising a son that married a woman he cannot talk to. That is actually a serious problem but not necessarily a matter of your fault.

Most of issues that DHs have with other women are due to the toxic relationships they have with their mothers.

[Anonymous]

Bottom line is you have to accept that they don't appreciate this offer. If the children opened this gift and got excited about going to Disney Land and now mom and dad have to be the bad guys and tell them - "No, sorry. Kids we can't go."....ugh.

Op - have you gone on vacation with them before? Have you done any long weekend trips with them? What is the history of you all vacationing together?

[Anonymous]

^^And most likely it's DIL that has to do the explaining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think she's mainly upset that I continue to have a relationship with the ex. The ex is family and that is unfair. My friend thinks the Facebook post was set to where only ex DIL can see it because no one else sees it.

Sorry but the ex isn't family and I don't believe you should have a relationship with her. Picking up and dropping off from your house is fine, but anything more is too much. You need to be on your DIL's side.

Why? That just stupid. She wants access to her grandson and being cordial with her ex-DIL is a way to that. Besides, she didn't divorce her, her son did. Stop being stupid. Current DIL needs to take the peg out of her ass and realize she married a divorced man with a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a son problem. My son called to tell me he didn't let his wife know that I was coming. He just wants me to let it go and says it will all smooth over.

And you know why he's got a problem?

It's because you are overbearing and his wife isn't a doormat.

STEP BACK.

Why is it overbearing to want to go on a trip you're paying for? I discussed in advance with my son. He agreed. I'm the problem here?

You are not the problem. Your DIL is an ass. My ILs pay for vacations too. Never did it occur to me that they would not be coming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a son problem. My son called to tell me he didn't let his wife know that I was coming. He just wants me to let it go and says it will all smooth over.

And you know why he's got a problem?

It's because you are overbearing and his wife isn't a doormat.

STEP BACK.

Why is it overbearing to want to go on a trip you're paying for? I discussed in advance with my son. He agreed. I'm the problem here?

You are not the problem. Your DIL is an ass. My ILs pay for vacations too. Never did it occur to me that they would not be coming.

DIL is an ass because her husband didn't tell her that MIL expected to join them on the vacation? Even OP admits that her son not communicating with his own wife is the real problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If DIL is so upset with MIL/you going, don't go. Get your room/flight refunded as much as possible. Bow out gracefully.

I bet there will be another trip where you will be invited to go if you handle this misunderstanding correctly.

Next time you should make plans directly with DIL.

JMHO.

And let them go on a vacation she paid for? BWHAHAHA DIL needs to realize she acted like a spoiled brat and apologize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a son problem. My son called to tell me he didn't let his wife know that I was coming. He just wants me to let it go and says it will all smooth over.

And you know why he's got a problem?

It's because you are overbearing and his wife isn't a doormat.

STEP BACK.

Why is it overbearing to want to go on a trip you're paying for? I discussed in advance with my son. He agreed. I'm the problem here?

You are not the problem. Your DIL is an ass. My ILs pay for vacations too. Never did it occur to me that they would not be coming.

DIL is an ass because her husband didn't tell her that MIL expected to join them on the vacation? Even OP admits that her son not communicating with his own wife is the real problem.

Fine, her son is an ass too. They are both rude and spoiled. If my MIL paid for a vacation, I would not be the least bit surprised or offended that she is coming. I would assume so from the get go.

[Anonymous]

I predict you will soon have 2 ex-wives to deal with. If what you are saying is true, a husband who springs a trip on his wife without prior discussion is an A**. Trips are mutual decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think she's mainly upset that I continue to have a relationship with the ex. The ex is family and that is unfair. My friend thinks the Facebook post was set to where only ex DIL can see it because no one else sees it.

Sorry but the ex isn't family and I don't believe you should have a relationship with her. Picking up and dropping off from your house is fine, but anything more is too much. You need to be on your DIL's side.

Why? That just stupid. She wants access to her grandson and being cordial with her ex-DIL is a way to that. Besides, she didn't divorce her, her son did. Stop being stupid. Current DIL needs to take the peg out of her ass and realize she married a divorced man with a child.

I think that if DIL had been dumb enough to accept this gift the next thing that would have happened is that the ex DIL would be coming to Disney Land with them to help MIL watch over her son.

After all, if MIL still considers this ex DIL to be "family" OF COURSE she would pay for ex DIL to come along, too, right? What a pleasant "vacation" that would have been...

DIL is no fool and could see that sh*t coming before it hit the fan and she said NO WAY. Team DIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think she's mainly upset that I continue to have a relationship with the ex. The ex is family and that is unfair. My friend thinks the Facebook post was set to where only ex DIL can see it because no one else sees it.

Sorry but the ex isn't family and I don't believe you should have a relationship with her. Picking up and dropping off from your house is fine, but anything more is too much. You need to be on your DIL's side.

Why? That just stupid. She wants access to her grandson and being cordial with her ex-DIL is a way to that. Besides, she didn't divorce her, her son did. Stop being stupid. Current DIL needs to take the peg out of her ass and realize she married a divorced man with a child.

I think that if DIL had been dumb enough to accept this gift the next thing that would have happened is that the ex DIL would be coming to Disney Land with them to help MIL watch over her son.

After all, if MIL still considers this ex DIL to be "family" OF COURSE she would pay for ex DIL to come along, too, right? What a pleasant "vacation" that would have been...

DIL is no fool and could see that sh*t coming before it hit the fan and she said NO WAY. Team DIL.

+1000

[Anonymous]

I'll bet the DIL is the best thing that ever happened to Op's son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think she's mainly upset that I continue to have a relationship with the ex. The ex is family and that is unfair. My friend thinks the Facebook post was set to where only ex DIL can see it because no one else sees it.

Sorry but the ex isn't family and I don't believe you should have a relationship with her. Picking up and dropping off from your house is fine, but anything more is too much. You need to be on your DIL's side.

Why? That just stupid. She wants access to her grandson and being cordial with her ex-DIL is a way to that. Besides, she didn't divorce her, her son did. Stop being stupid. Current DIL needs to take the peg out of her ass and realize she married a divorced man with a child.

I think that if DIL had been dumb enough to accept this gift the next thing that would have happened is that the ex DIL would be coming to Disney Land with them to help MIL watch over her son.

After all, if MIL still considers this ex DIL to be "family" OF COURSE she would pay for ex DIL to come along, too, right? What a pleasant "vacation" that would have been...

DIL is no fool and could see that sh*t coming before it hit the fan and she said NO WAY. Team DIL.

You are an idiot. Can you really not grasp that divorced people have to manage a relationship when kids are involved? Should she side with current DIL at the expense of not being able to see her grandson. I bet you she loves her grandson more than any of these "adults" who can't manage to take their heads out of their asses for five minutes and appreciate a very generous gift. Of all things to be offended about! Good lord. Yeah DIL is SUPER WISE!~

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll bet the DIL is the best thing that ever happened to Op's son.

LOL. No. Still he cannot go through life divorcing wives, now can he?

He is stuck with this harpy. MIL is trying to get the family together by paying for everyone to go to Disneyland.

Is there any way the OP can get a refund and withdraw this offer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll bet the DIL is the best thing that ever happened to Op's son.

LOL. No. Still he cannot go through life divorcing wives, now can he?

He is stuck with this harpy. MIL is trying to get the family together by paying for everyone to go to Disneyland.

Is there any way the OP can get a refund and withdraw this offer?

Uh, yeah - he can. But clearly he's made his choice to make wife happy and make decisions with her, not with dear mommy.