Son and DIL hate me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you discuss this before you gave them the gift?

I'm not anti MIL, but this seems like a huge boundaries issue. You should have discussed the trip with them beforehand. She probably now has 3 kids begging to go, but she doesn't yet have hotels, airfare or time to take off of work yet. Most of my friends tell their kids a week before a Disney trip so that the kids don't nag for too long beforehand.

I did discuss the present. I was paying for everything. They didn't realize I was coming along too.

And there's the problem.

[Anonymous]

Oh, OP.

You seem to be a boundary-crossing expert, and given how you've answered the questions, either you're a troll or you have diagnosable disorder.

1. You can't have a closer relationship with the ex than with the current wife. Messing up your tech is NOT an excuse. Have someone check it for you, but get it right.

2. You still haven't told us how your son and DIL didn't realize you were coming. I'm pretty sure that's your communication fail, too.

3. The shrink explanation you gave is a nonsense sentence. Try again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think she's mainly upset that I continue to have a relationship with the ex. The ex is family and that is unfair. My friend thinks the Facebook post was set to where only ex DIL can see it because no one else sees it.

That's not how facebook works.

what? It can work that way.

Then it would be a private message, not a post on DIL's page.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think she's mainly upset that I continue to have a relationship with the ex. The ex is family and that is unfair. My friend thinks the Facebook post was set to where only ex DIL can see it because no one else sees it.

That's not how facebook works.

what? It can work that way.

Then it would be a private message, not a post on DIL's page.

Actually, you can make a post visible to only certain people. I do it all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think she's mainly upset that I continue to have a relationship with the ex. The ex is family and that is unfair. My friend thinks the Facebook post was set to where only ex DIL can see it because no one else sees it.

That's not how facebook works.

what? It can work that way.

Then it would be a private message, not a post on DIL's page.

You could create a group with just one friend and share a post with them, but I am more inclined to believe something else is going on. And why on earth would ex-DIL and DIL be FB friends?!

[Anonymous]

Troll

[Anonymous]

The title of this thread alone reveals you to be a MAJOR drama queen and pain in the ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think she's mainly upset that I continue to have a relationship with the ex. The ex is family and that is unfair. My friend thinks the Facebook post was set to where only ex DIL can see it because no one else sees it.

That's not how facebook works.

what? It can work that way.

Then it would be a private message, not a post on DIL's page.

Actually, you can make a post visible to only certain people. I do it all the time.

+1. I sometimes post things that only my family members can see and sometimes post things that only friends can see.

[Anonymous]

Your DIL sounds like a pill. We would love if grandparents came on a trip like that. Wish we had a grandma like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The reason I think this is a troll is because of the 6 month moratorium. Also, the confusion over whether or not she's really in touch with your shrink, or if you are accusing her of lying and spreading rumors. That actually makes you sound like you do have a significant personality disorder. What "people" is she telling about your disorder?

No, I know someone else that did this (also a DIL to MIL). I think this must be currently trending advice on some sort of advice forum. In the case that I know of, I thought the DIL was 100% in the wrong (I'm personally a DIL with huge MIL issues, so I don't normally just flock to the MIL side on these things).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think she's mainly upset that I continue to have a relationship with the ex. The ex is family and that is unfair. My friend thinks the Facebook post was set to where only ex DIL can see it because no one else sees it.

That's not how facebook works.

what? It can work that way.

Then it would be a private message, not a post on DIL's page.

No. You're not a very FB user, are you?

PM's and posts are two different things. If you are on FB, you can select Messages to send PM's. If you are doing this on a cell phone, chances are you'll be forced to use Messenger, but it's still a message. Messages can only be read through the Message's option on FB or through Messenger on your phone.

Alternatively, you can post on your wall or someone else's wall (assuming that person allows you to post on their wall) and set the audience for the post. You can select a predetermined audience (Public, Friends list, any other defined groups you have) or you can choose "Custom". If you choose custom, then you can define the list which can be a list of individuals that are not in a predefined group, or even one individual. But this will still be a post and will be on the person's wall which will be in their timeline. It is separate from the message function.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think she's mainly upset that I continue to have a relationship with the ex. The ex is family and that is unfair. My friend thinks the Facebook post was set to where only ex DIL can see it because no one else sees it.

That's not how facebook works.

what? It can work that way.

Then it would be a private message, not a post on DIL's page.

No. You're not a very experienced FB user, are you?

PM's and posts are two different things. If you are on FB, you can select Messages to send PM's. If you are doing this on a cell phone, chances are you'll be forced to use Messenger, but it's still a message. Messages can only be read through the Message's option on FB or through Messenger on your phone.

Alternatively, you can post on your wall or someone else's wall (assuming that person allows you to post on their wall) and set the audience for the post. You can select a predetermined audience (Public, Friends list, any other defined groups you have) or you can choose "Custom". If you choose custom, then you can define the list which can be a list of individuals that are not in a predefined group, or even one individual. But this will still be a post and will be on the person's wall which will be in their timeline. It is separate from the message function.

Sorry, missing word.

[Anonymous]

It's a son problem. My son called to tell me he didn't let his wife know that I was coming. He just wants me to let it go and says it will all smooth over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Oh, OP.

You seem to be a boundary-crossing expert, and given how you've answered the questions, either you're a troll or you have diagnosable disorder.

1. You can't have a closer relationship with the ex than with the current wife. Messing up your tech is NOT an excuse. Have someone check it for you, but get it right.

2. You still haven't told us how your son and DIL didn't realize you were coming. I'm pretty sure that's your communication fail, too.

3. The shrink explanation you gave is a nonsense sentence. Try again.

Agree with everything here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a son problem. My son called to tell me he didn't let his wife know that I was coming. He just wants me to let it go and says it will all smooth over.

And you know why he's got a problem?

It's because you are overbearing and his wife isn't a doormat.

STEP BACK.