Parents never ask questions about our lives

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the last three trips home (usually I stay a week or two) I decided not to talk about my life or my kid’s to see how long it would take either of my parents to ask “How are you doing? What is going on in your life?” But they never did.

It’s just who they are.

This can be true of just about anyone and any age. My DH has an adult niece who still doesn't know my last name or anything about me and we've been married for 20+ years. When my DH and I visit, it is the same thing ... non-stop monologue of her job, her life, her DH, her kids and never once asks us anything about ourselves. I find reasons not to visit anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fresh off of Easter and realizing my parents ask virtually zero questions about our (me, DH and DC’s) lives. We were together for 5 hours and there wasn’t a single question. We are potentially considering some big life changes (moving, job changes, etc) but they would have no clue. And before you say, “just tell them” I can’t. My mom in particular just talks at everyone about herself the entire time. It’s impossible to get a word in edge-wise. I feel like this is so bizarre and getting worse over time.

It’s mind boggling to me to not be interested in your child’s life. Anyone else experiencing this?

Maybe you are boring.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it’s aging. I wish I could ensure I ever get like that myself, because it’s super annoying. My mom just talks nonstop about herself and her world. My husband always comments that I am practically silent around her- I’ve given up! It’s boring but I don’t get bothered by it. It’s a lot of smile and of with her.

[Anonymous]

My mother's dead now, but for the last decade-plus of her life, she had no idea what to ask me beyond:

1. How are you?
2. Are you having fun?
3. Do you still like to eat [insert food I liked at age 4]?

Her world was SO small that she couldn't fathom what might be going on in mine. And she was married with two kids, a dog and a house in the suburbs by age 26, so she couldn't relate on any level to her single, no kids, renting in a city daughter who works because she doesn't have a man to rely on. She couldn't give advice, couldn't understand how I knew what was business casual and what wasn't, didn't know where the line was when joking with your boss, thought I was on the precipice of being mugged and raped every time I was out once the sun went down, and she could NOT open her mind when I told her things.

Me: I'm going to dim sum with Elizabeth for brunch this weekend.
Her: Is it in a safe neighborhood?
Me: Yes, the same neighborhood where I work - sometimes coworkers and I even go there on our lunch hour.
Her: Will it be enough food for brunch if you normally eat it for lunch?
Me: Yes, there's plenty.
Her: Well I don't know.
Me: I took you and Dad to this exact restaurant last time you visited. We sat outside, remember? I did a British accent when you went to drink your tea?
Her: It was very good.
Me: [not knowing if she meant the tea or accent] Glad you liked it!
Her: How will you get home?
Me: I'll walk or take the bus.
Her: Is that safe? Anyone could be on the bus.
Me: Yes, even me. It could be a bus full of people like me, just going to brunch and running errands, sprinkled with some tourists.
Her: You should be careful.
Me: I always am.
Her: Do you take Ubers?
Me: Yes.
Her: I read about someone in Nebraska who took an Uber and the driver murdered her and cut out her baby from her uterus.
Me: Well, I'm not in Nebraska or pregnant so I don't have to worry about that. And it made the news because it's so unusual. (And on, and on.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother's dead now, but for the last decade-plus of her life, she had no idea what to ask me beyond:

1. How are you?
2. Are you having fun?
3. Do you still like to eat [insert food I liked at age 4]?

Her world was SO small that she couldn't fathom what might be going on in mine. And she was married with two kids, a dog and a house in the suburbs by age 26, so she couldn't relate on any level to her single, no kids, renting in a city daughter who works because she doesn't have a man to rely on. She couldn't give advice, couldn't understand how I knew what was business casual and what wasn't, didn't know where the line was when joking with your boss, thought I was on the precipice of being mugged and raped every time I was out once the sun went down, and she could NOT open her mind when I told her things.

Me: I'm going to dim sum with Elizabeth for brunch this weekend.
Her: Is it in a safe neighborhood?
Me: Yes, the same neighborhood where I work - sometimes coworkers and I even go there on our lunch hour.
Her: Will it be enough food for brunch if you normally eat it for lunch?
Me: Yes, there's plenty.
Her: Well I don't know.
Me: I took you and Dad to this exact restaurant last time you visited. We sat outside, remember? I did a British accent when you went to drink your tea?
Her: It was very good.
Me: [not knowing if she meant the tea or accent] Glad you liked it!
Her: How will you get home?
Me: I'll walk or take the bus.
Her: Is that safe? Anyone could be on the bus.
Me: Yes, even me. It could be a bus full of people like me, just going to brunch and running errands, sprinkled with some tourists.
Her: You should be careful.
Me: I always am.
Her: Do you take Ubers?
Me: Yes.
Her: I read about someone in Nebraska who took an Uber and the driver murdered her and cut out her baby from her uterus.
Me: Well, I'm not in Nebraska or pregnant so I don't have to worry about that. And it made the news because it's so unusual. (And on, and on.)

Well, maybe you think she wasn't able to open up her mind but it seems to me her questions about your welfare showed she had an open heart.