Parents never ask questions about our lives
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Anonymous
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Fresh off of Easter and realizing my parents ask virtually zero questions about our (me, DH and DC’s) lives. We were together for 5 hours and there wasn’t a single question. We are potentially considering some big life changes (moving, job changes, etc) but they would have no clue. And before you say, “just tell them” I can’t. My mom in particular just talks at everyone about herself the entire time. It’s impossible to get a word in edge-wise. I feel like this is so bizarre and getting worse over time.
It’s mind boggling to me to not be interested in your child’s life. Anyone else experiencing this? |
Anonymous
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Luckily no, and in your shoes I wouldn't tolerate it. I would distance myself and tell her why. A one-way relationship isn't fulfilling.
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Anonymous
| A lot of people get more like this when they get older. How old are they? |
Anonymous
+1. How much social interaction do they have? |
Anonymous
| Just interrupt by putting your hand on her arm and say "Mom, we're considering moving to Alaska and becoming a whale blubber expert. Can I talk to you about it?" |
Anonymous
Late 60s/early 70s |
Anonymous
One of them still works full time! The other has always been like this to a degree but has seemingly gotten worse since retiring. |
Anonymous
I have tried and it’s shocking how she will be like “oh nice” and just continue on with her stories. I’ve never seen someone so self absorbed. |
Anonymous
| My mom is like this. The older she gets the more she just goes off on an unending nervous monologue. If by chance she asks a rare question, she’ll immediately interrupt when I’m a few words in and off she goes again. I’ve given up. |
Anonymous
I don't know any grandparent who behaves like OP's parents. I only hear of them on DCUM. But my parents, my aunts and uncles, my great-aunts, my husband's parents and other elderly relatives, my close friends' parents... none of them are like this. Their worlds do get smaller, of course, but they're still interested in their children's and grandchildren's doings. |
Anonymous
| "Mom, let me have The Talking Stick." |
Anonymous
| My mother in law is like this. She thinks it's intrusive to ask questions. She's gotten better over time but it's still far and few between. However I overheard her at a party telling a friend all about our lives and how proud and excited she was about certain things. So she just likes to talk about herself and her family to others and about her friends to us. On the flip side my mother is very intrusive, asks about everything, passes judgement and offers opinions no one asks for and gets offended when we don't take the unsolicited advice. So I share so much less with her about plans and keep to things that have already happened and even then carefully. |
Anonymous
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This describes my ILs of decades. Both are incredibly self focused and together they are “politely disinterested” in most everything.
It’s so isolating and as the years go by, awkward. They take a true surface interest in their adult GC but have never seemed the type to ask questions or really engage in meaningful conversation. I’ve known my ILs for 30 years and while I could complete their family tree and their work and health histories (and remember everything), ILs know very little about me. Learned after having DC that this is the way they are but still it’s ruined relationships. My oldest DC has limited contact with them due to rude comments and constant criticism. |
Anonymous
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Also, there are an equal number of complaints from Op's age group that parents ask too many questions, are too nosey or hurt someone's feelings with what is perceived as unsolicited advice.
Op, next visit, ahead of the next visit maybe you email with a friendly update on your news. That way there can be some prep for talking about it. |
Anonymous
Sure I could do that, but that kind of defeats the purpose of normal conversation and parents being interested in their own children. |