My husband died from alcoholism

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I left my wife over her drinking and she died shortly after at the age of 53 Nothing could make her stop. Not losing her marriage, friends, children, everything. The kids didn't even attend her memorial. That anger still lingers. I feel for you.

How long and how much did she drink?

NP but that's the thing about alcoholism. No one knows how much is too much. Obviously we are talking alcoholic levels of drinking - binging over a sustained period of time but it kills some people young, and it doesn't kill some older people who drink more. It's really Russian Roulette.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I left my wife over her drinking and she died shortly after at the age of 53 Nothing could make her stop. Not losing her marriage, friends, children, everything. The kids didn't even attend her memorial. That anger still lingers. I feel for you.

How long and how much did she drink?

NP but that's the thing about alcoholism. No one knows how much is too much. Obviously we are talking alcoholic levels of drinking - binging over a sustained period of time but it kills some people young, and it doesn't kill some older people who drink more. It's really Russian Roulette.

And no one can truly know the amount. They appear to have 2 drinks at a party, but they drank 2 on the way over and chugged 3 in the bathroom. Or went to the cooler to get a second drink but chugged 2 while there quick and appeared to just come back with the second. Or peppermint alcohol to blend with mouthwash. Or alcohol in the coffee mug. The possibilities are infinite.

[Anonymous]

Yes, before my spouse became sober it was vodka mixed with water or other beverages (an entire bottle of vodka in a day). They would choose vodka to it being more neutral in color and smell.

[Anonymous]

I’m very sorry for your loss. My husband is one of those “functional” quiet alcoholics. I wish knowledge gave me the power to stop him but he won’t admit his addiction, won’t go to a doctor, won’t get help. Sadly, I feel like the death your husband experienced is literally the best possible outcome I can envision for my husband. I fear it will be much worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I left my wife over her drinking and she died shortly after at the age of 53 Nothing could make her stop. Not losing her marriage, friends, children, everything. The kids didn't even attend her memorial. That anger still lingers. I feel for you.

How long and how much did she drink?

She mostly drain about a bottle, box really of wine every night. But she would drink any and all liquor she could get her hands on. I finally decided I had to get my two kids away from her. I did all I could for her but in the end, she didn't want to stop. Then I stopped caring about her and concentrated on what was more important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m very sorry for your loss. My husband is one of those “functional” quiet alcoholics. I wish knowledge gave me the power to stop him but he won’t admit his addiction, won’t go to a doctor, won’t get help. Sadly, I feel like the death your husband experienced is literally the best possible outcome I can envision for my husband. I fear it will be much worse.

I am so sorry to hear this (NP)....I used to hope for this outcome when my spouse's alcoholism was at its worst.

My spouse is sober now but it is still not a picnic, there is a lot of resentment for what I went through and why they didn't quit earlier, and a bit of a holier than thou and sanctimonious attitude now that they quit. Not sure if my marriage will survive as I feel the trust is not there and I feel there is still a lot of selfishness with their choices overall, and I am just tired.

[Anonymous]

I have just realized that a friend of 25+ years is a severe alcoholic. I talk to her daily and had not noticed it. I rarely drink so never really put two and two together. She's gone through a terrible divorce and other trauma, which have exacerbated the problem. As of now, she doesn't know that I've figured it out as I hesitate even saying anything bc she gets extremely defensive over any criticism and I know she won't listen. After losing four jobs (always excuses saying she quit) and her appearance getting worse and worse, I'm quite fearful as to what lies ahead. I've been in touch with mutual friends who all have seen concerning behavior and I've just recently put it all together. I feel like a fool for not seeing this earlier. She has lied to me about so much, I'm not sure I can get past the deceitfulness and continue the friendship. I have no experience with interventions or best ways to handle an alcoholic. I don't think there is anything I can do, right? She doesn't eat, has a puffy face and belly and is stick thin now. She has aged 20 years in the past 5 years. I feel like I should do something, but what I'm hearing is that only she can decide to get help. I'm sad knowing that if she doesn't stop, she will die. Any advice appreciated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have just realized that a friend of 25+ years is a severe alcoholic. I talk to her daily and had not noticed it. I rarely drink so never really put two and two together. She's gone through a terrible divorce and other trauma, which have exacerbated the problem. As of now, she doesn't know that I've figured it out as I hesitate even saying anything bc she gets extremely defensive over any criticism and I know she won't listen. After losing four jobs (always excuses saying she quit) and her appearance getting worse and worse, I'm quite fearful as to what lies ahead. I've been in touch with mutual friends who all have seen concerning behavior and I've just recently put it all together. I feel like a fool for not seeing this earlier. She has lied to me about so much, I'm not sure I can get past the deceitfulness and continue the friendship. I have no experience with interventions or best ways to handle an alcoholic. I don't think there is anything I can do, right? She doesn't eat, has a puffy face and belly and is stick thin now. She has aged 20 years in the past 5 years. I feel like I should do something, but what I'm hearing is that only she can decide to get help. I'm sad knowing that if she doesn't stop, she will die. Any advice appreciated.

You just reminded me of a df who I had only known for a few years. One day she said to me "you are drinking way too much. It's going to kill you. Have you considered going to an AA meeting? I would be happy to take you." I did not take her up on her offer but I did eventually make my way to AA. She did me a huge favor by saying "I'm going to say something you may not want to hear". She made me realize I wasn't fooling anyone. I was kind of mad at the time that she said it since we weren't that close. But her words stayed with me. I'm sorry for your friend. Sounds like she's at the stage I was at when I finally said I couldn't continue like that. Since then the drama in my life has diminished considerably and I'm just so much happier without alcohol.