Who is unreasonable here: Friend A or Friend B?
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Anonymous
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You should have dropped the price very low and sold it. The options were not $1000 or give it away. You should have tried to sell it for $200, and then if there were still no buyers you wouldn’t be so sore about giving it away to her.
In your head you have her something worth $2000 and it was a bargain at $1000. It wasn’t worth nearly that much. Something is only worth what someone will pay for it and it wasn’t as valuable as you felt it was. This is really common when people are selling things. And it stinks the other seller backed out but that happens too so don’t count it as sold until it’s gone and keep trying to sell it. But friend B sounds like a user and you should drop her after this. Chalk it up to life lessons and enjoy your new city!! |
Anonymous
| OP you are in the right here. A is super aggressive and a user and terrible friend. I would fade that friendship. I think I’d block her as soon as you move, in fact. Please don’t blame yourself. You’ve done nothing wrong. I cannot believe some of the responses here. |
Anonymous
Of course she knows it’s awkward because you were so passive with her when she asked what was wrong. You have created this situation. |
Anonymous
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Yeah, so this is partially on you for not having a backup or more for a buyer. I’ve been in this situation, selling exercise equipment before an international move and always had back-ups in place. People are flaky.
Your friend is a bit of a fair weather friend and/or clearly lacks some empathy and grace. She knows your need but doesn’t care. I’d likely distance myself from her, which will be easy being in different countries. I’d also, gently, consider speaking up more loudly if you find yourself in a similar position. “I’d love to give it to you for free but I just paid off my loans and need money for my bills. I’m sure you understand.” TLDR: your friend is a mooch but you lacked some backbone and a plan B here. |
Anonymous
OP I’m pp and just reading your next response. You described in your OP all the things you and your friend did together. You’ve spent so much time with her and nos suddenly because of one stupid situation you’re a victim. Hopefully when you calm down you can look at the situation more objectively so you don’t screw up another friendship. |
Anonymous
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I would have donated it to a local battered women's shelter. No way I would have just given it to her.
I relocated recently across country. I shipped items I could have easily sold but I would rather sell them where I am now, if need be. |
Anonymous
+1 if you're not going to be penalized for leaving it, then leave it moving is stressful enough without this "friend" behaving like this. i haven't read the whole thread so maybe she did this - but i doubt it - but she could have even offered to take you out for a nice dinner, or SOMETHING to make you feel less used. |
Anonymous
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If you were a true friend you will say I will try to sell it for a thousand dollars if I can’t sell it I will give you as a gift.
Her lifestyle doesn’t matter. |
Anonymous
OP detailed stuff they did together, not qualities or behaviors the friend had that were examples of a good friend. TBH, it sounds like this woman is bored and lonely and used OP for companionship because they came from the same town, but as soon as OP announced she was moving to another country (which would result in much better quality of life for her), the friend decided to burn that bridge in order to extract one more useful resources from OP, a free treadmill. I've been in OP's situation before. In my 20s and early 30s, I too thought that spending a lot of time with someone meant friendship. I assumed if someone was inviting me out a lot, it meant they actually liked me and valued me as a person. I learned in my mid-30s that there are women who do this just because they don't want to have to do things on their own. They collect "friends" but most of them are disposable, just people they can call for brunch or to go to a spin class or something, so they don't have to go alone. But if you go through something difficult, these women have ZERO interest in showing up for you, they don't even see you that way at all. They honestly barely know you. You were just a friend of convenience. OP is learning this the hard way. Friend B was never really a friend, it was just convenient for her that Friend A was a known quantity, spoke the language, and was free to do stuff. Friend B probably doesn't have very many friends, at least not in her current location. If she has any truly close friends, I guarantee you she is texting with them today to laugh about what a sucker OP is, or to complain that OP seemed all put out about giving her the treadmill. |
Anonymous
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This reminds me of a time that a friend of mine borrowed my sewing machine, which was a gift from my mom, for a sewing project. And then when I asked for it back, she tried to convince me to let her have it because I didn't use it very often. I said no, even though I didn't use it often, I still wanted it -- I used it sometimes and I liked the idea of one day being able to give it to my own daughter. And my "friend" took months to return it and even after she did, she kept pestering me about selling it to her (it wasn't about money to me, the point was that my mother had given it to me). She absolutely would not accept no as an answer and she even tried to guilt me about it, complaining it didn't make sense for me to have such a nice sewing machine when I didn't sew very often.
People like this are not your friends. My life got better once I stopped spending time with people like this. They only care about you insofar as you are useful to them. |
Anonymous
| Less money, but experience and awareness gained. The two of you are not friends. This is good to know and move on from. Start fresh and don't pack the negativity surrounding this along with you. Go of on your new adventure and enjoy meeting new people. |
Anonymous
Incorrect. OP did nothing wrong. Her friend is a selfish user and now OP is on the losing end of that. OP IS the victim. Only another selfish user would think otherwise. Good riddance to friend B. |
Anonymous
+1. OP will learn from this and go on to better things. Her old “friend” will be as miserable as ever and desperately trying to find her new mark. |
Anonymous
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Just look at this thread op. So many narcissists who can't help themselves and blame you. You are an easy target for them to prop their non-existent self-esteem. These apps are real-life people who act like this with their friends and family.
Her DS did not even greet you; your friend is not a friend; she was there to use you for company or whatnot. You have nothing to worry about in the future; she will not contact you. She does not need you anymore. If you look back at your friendship, I bet you will find examples of her selfish behaviors. |
Anonymous
All this. |