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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  She's here.  She brought her husband for some reason.  She knows it is awkward and they are avoiding me.  I am fuming.

Yes, it is my fault for saying yes.  I am horrible with conflict and am I am going to be a more selfish person in the future.  [/quote]

OP again.  Can I just reiterate how irritated I am that she brought her husband and the two of them are now in the room with the treadmill, watching them dismantle it.  He didn't even greet me; they walked past me as if I am the help.  So, yeah, I guess the PP who observed earlier that the "friendship" is just one of convenience to her was correct.

Anyway, thanks for those who commented here, even to tell me I'm irresponsible (I probably am).  This is something I've known I need to work on with myself (learning to back away from friendships that are one-sided).  I lost my parents young (in college) and I've long had a tendency to hold onto relationships I should let go because of that, I think.  I'm working on it with my online therapist.  I'm going to be more selfish and more guarded in my new location.  [/quote]

OP I’m pp and just reading your next response. You described in your OP all the things you and your friend did together. You’ve spent so much time with her and nos suddenly because of one stupid situation you’re a victim. Hopefully when you calm down you can look at the situation more objectively so you don’t screw up another friendship. [/quote]

OP detailed stuff they did together, not qualities or behaviors the friend had that were examples of a good friend. TBH, it sounds like this woman is bored and lonely and used OP for companionship because they came from the same town, but as soon as OP announced she was moving to another country (which would result in much better quality of life for her), the friend decided to burn that bridge in order to extract one more useful resources from OP, a free treadmill.

I've been in OP's situation before. In my 20s and early 30s, I too thought that spending a lot of time with someone meant friendship. I assumed if someone was inviting me out a lot, it meant they actually liked me and valued me as a person. I learned in my mid-30s that there are women who do this just because they don't want to have to do things on their own. They collect "friends" but most of them are disposable, just people they can call for brunch or to go to a spin class or something, so they don't have to go alone. But if you go through something difficult, these women have ZERO interest in showing up for you, they don't even see you that way at all. They honestly barely know you. You were just a friend of convenience.

OP is learning this the hard way. Friend B was never really a friend, it was just convenient for her that Friend A was a known quantity, spoke the language, and was free to do stuff.

Friend B probably doesn't have very many friends, at least not in her current location. If she has any truly close friends, I guarantee you she is texting with them today to laugh about what a sucker OP is, or to complain that OP seemed all put out about giving her the treadmill.[/quote]

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