Husband compliments classically “good looking families” in public. How to make him stop?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anytime my husband sees a mother (and father) with two or more really cute young kids he compliments how cute the kids are or what an attractive family they are in passing. He thinks this is a great compliment and makes their day. I think it’s a bit weird. I agree with him that the families he goes out of his way to compliment are classically attractive but I think they obviously know that, so it goes without saying. And two, it is a bit strange and forward for a random older male to do this. Or maybe I’m wrong and it is some great compliment to randomly hear. Once in a while the compliment comes with him paying their meal tab or if they’re behind or in front us at say a shop, he will pick up their cheque.

DH does similarly annoying things. If he sees a young family with small kids out together, if the kids are together, he'll go up and start "playing bongos" on their heads and singing nonsense. It's embarrassing. He's also always on the look out for people he thinks look down. When he does, he'll go up and hug them saying Jesus is My Lord, is he yours?

I think you're probably joking around, but if you're not, how on earth can you tolerate this man?

He doesn't do it all the time. We met volunteering in Republican politics and he has many similar values, but I do not like these traits.

[Anonymous]

People who are attractive are already living a privileged life just by virtue of their looks. Your husband would be doing more good if he complimented and paid for unattractive families whose kids are behaving badly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Words are fine. Paying for them is not, and goes into creepy territory. What is he, the pro-white family activist? Because that's what you're implying when you mean "classically good-looking"? Is he also against abortion?

I’m not really sure what all that has to do with the OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But really, think about whether "classically attractive" does always equate into say, white and thin for him? What is that telling your children, if it does.

Is he like longing for the days of June Cleaver. MAGA???

With obesity epidemic it's good to congratulate the families that are sticking to be healthy

Some of you are down right crazy. I like June Cleaver and I am not MAGA. Some
Of you need help for your obsessive hatred for others that might have a different lifestyle or climate different choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re not a pretty family as individuals, but I’m a white mom with an Asian DH and a mixed child. If we’re cleaned up and out and about together, we inevitably get the “what a beautiful family!” comments from older white men and women. I think it’s mostly happiness at seeing a family out together looking cleaned up and freshly pressed, but sometimes it’s obvious that the commenter is happy to see a mixed family and/or one with atypical gender/race mix.

The places I see this happen most to any kind of families are hotels, brunch places, church, and the pool clubhouse. I think it’s places where people are primed to make a social connection and are feeling outgoing and cheerful.

We are not white and we get this a lot too, always older white folks. It’s always when we are dressed up in a preppy way. I think the intention is innocent but subconsciously, they are pleased that we are assimilating to what they are used to. And then, also subconsciously, they can tell themselves they aren’t racist because our family made them happy and they gave some brown people a compliment. But as they do it, I do think they are well intentioned and just want to say something nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anytime my husband sees a mother (and father) with two or more really cute young kids he compliments how cute the kids are or what an attractive family they are in passing. He thinks this is a great compliment and makes their day. I think it’s a bit weird. I agree with him that the families he goes out of his way to compliment are classically attractive but I think they obviously know that, so it goes without saying. And two, it is a bit strange and forward for a random older male to do this. Or maybe I’m wrong and it is some great compliment to randomly hear. Once in a while the compliment comes with him paying their meal tab or if they’re behind or in front us at say a shop, he will pick up their cheque.

DH does similarly annoying things. If he sees a young family with small kids out together, if the kids are together, he'll go up and start "playing bongos" on their heads and singing nonsense. It's embarrassing. He's also always on the look out for people he thinks look down. When he does, he'll go up and hug them saying Jesus is My Lord, is he yours?

I think you're probably joking around, but if you're not, how on earth can you tolerate this man?

He doesn't do it all the time. We met volunteering in Republican politics and he has many similar values, but I do not like these traits.

You got what you ordered.

[Anonymous]

Geez, you found someone who celebrates the normalcy of a nuclear family producing well-adjusted children. People who actually wear more than pajamas to go out in public, and perhaps make their children behave?

As someone who just had to run to Walmart to get a new filter for the central AC, and having seen the dyed-hair / pierced / tattooed crowd there, I’m finding it hard to sympathize with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Geez, you found someone who celebrates the normalcy of a nuclear family producing well-adjusted children. People who actually wear more than pajamas to go out in public, and perhaps make their children behave?

As someone who just had to run to Walmart to get a new filter for the central AC, and having seen the dyed-hair / pierced / tattooed crowd there, I’m finding it hard to sympathize with you.

Dyed hair!!! The horror!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anytime my husband sees a mother (and father) with two or more really cute young kids he compliments how cute the kids are or what an attractive family they are in passing. He thinks this is a great compliment and makes their day. I think it’s a bit weird. I agree with him that the families he goes out of his way to compliment are classically attractive but I think they obviously know that, so it goes without saying. And two, it is a bit strange and forward for a random older male to do this. Or maybe I’m wrong and it is some great compliment to randomly hear. Once in a while the compliment comes with him paying their meal tab or if they’re behind or in front us at say a shop, he will pick up their cheque.

DH does similarly annoying things. If he sees a young family with small kids out together, if the kids are together, he'll go up and start "playing bongos" on their heads and singing nonsense. It's embarrassing. He's also always on the look out for people he thinks look down. When he does, he'll go up and hug them saying Jesus is My Lord, is he yours?

I think you're probably joking around, but if you're not, how on earth can you tolerate this man?

He doesn't do it all the time. We met volunteering in Republican politics and he has many similar values, but I do not like these traits.

Oh. Oh dear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Dyed hair!!! The horror!

I don’t mean dyed hair in the traditional sense. I mean the people the Gen Z kids nowadays mock and refer to as “Skittles”. The orange and purple and green freakos.

[Anonymous]

Weird.

Bongo-on-strangers guy: extra weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who are attractive are already living a privileged life just by virtue of their looks. Your husband would be doing more good if he complimented and paid for unattractive families whose kids are behaving badly.

Hilarious

[Anonymous]

I think the husband’s behavior is super odd and I’d be irritated that he’s buying random strangers dinner with our income. I would NOT accept this and if it kept happening I’d leave. It’s downright creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Geez, you found someone who celebrates the normalcy of a nuclear family producing well-adjusted children. People who actually wear more than pajamas to go out in public, and perhaps make their children behave?

As someone who just had to run to Walmart to get a new filter for the central AC, and having seen the dyed-hair / pierced / tattooed crowd there, I’m finding it hard to sympathize with you.

+1
It’s okay to celebrate a normal healthy, respectful, traditional nuclear family. If that bother you, you have issues.

[Anonymous]

Our family are members at Trump National Golf Club, which used to be Lowe’s Island, and Trump himself once came by our table while we were having dinner in the grill and chatted with us. It was before he became President. His opening line was “what a great looking family,” which seems like a typical ice breaker when you don’t know a family but want to be friendly. He didn’t pay for our meal, nor would I expect him to, but he was very gracious and appropriate. It is a fantastic memory.