Husband compliments classically “good looking families” in public. How to make him stop?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It does seem like he's racist in his characterization of what constitutes an American family. There are families everywhere, in all colors and shapes, so it's jarring that he's focusing only on the all white attractive young people. Your embarrassment at his forwardness belies your discomfort at his problematic views. This is more than his desire for grandchildren.

Can’t tell.

Can’t tell if this is OP’s implication or where they live or if she’s defining NR as “large families with lots of kids.”

Btw, NR art does not look like a Lily Pulitzer family photo day on Cape Cod. It’s pretty gritty and realistic inside look on raising a family in the 1950s. I believe he was based in Boston area? Where his museum is?

NORMAN ROCKWELL IS THE EPITOME OF WHITE AUTHORITY. He was barred by his employer from depicting Black families (or other non-whites) unless in servile positions.

If you cannot recognize this, you have an enormous blind spot about the effects of segregation and Jim Crow on American art, and you should re-educate yourself.
As does OP's husband, apparently.

Nostalgia for the Norman Rockwell era smacks dangerously of Make America Great Again. No, it was only great for certain whites, not even all whites.

No. He just painted life in Massachusetts in his time period. No Jim Crow up there nor a majority of the states. Stop making everything about race or one tiny aspect of one book publisher someone’s entire reputation.

Frankly the Kennedy center painting of the black child going to school with guards is good to have memorialized. It’s part of history.

[Anonymous]

A man once did this to me and my 4 kids in line at McDonalds. Complimented me about the kids (one had held the door for him) and then paid for our lunch. It made my day. It made my year! We could afford the lunch but it was so thoughtful to have a complete stranger do something so nice. Made a great impression on the kids too and we’ve since “paid it forward” multiple times. Your husband is a good man. Be thankful you picked well.

[Anonymous]

We are a biracial family with 3 small girls and we get this pretty often. Not gonna lie, it is really nice and does make our day in a way

We have had people quietly pick up our tab a few times at restaurants but that only happens when I (black mom) am alone with the girls— definitely a nice gesture, but not necessary. I’m always left feeling a little awkward wishing they were still around so I could know who it was and have an opportunity to thank them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It does seem like he's racist in his characterization of what constitutes an American family. There are families everywhere, in all colors and shapes, so it's jarring that he's focusing only on the all white attractive young people. Your embarrassment at his forwardness belies your discomfort at his problematic views. This is more than his desire for grandchildren.

Can’t tell.

Can’t tell if this is OP’s implication or where they live or if she’s defining NR as “large families with lots of kids.”

Btw, NR art does not look like a Lily Pulitzer family photo day on Cape Cod. It’s pretty gritty and realistic inside look on raising a family in the 1950s. I believe he was based in Boston area? Where his museum is?

NORMAN ROCKWELL IS THE EPITOME OF WHITE AUTHORITY. He was barred by his employer from depicting Black families (or other non-whites) unless in servile positions.

If you cannot recognize this, you have an enormous blind spot about the effects of segregation and Jim Crow on American art, and you should re-educate yourself.
As does OP's husband, apparently.

Nostalgia for the Norman Rockwell era smacks dangerously of Make America Great Again. No, it was only great for certain whites, not even all whites.

No. He just painted life in Massachusetts in his time period. No Jim Crow up there nor a majority of the states. Stop making everything about race or one tiny aspect of one book publisher someone’s entire reputation.

Frankly the Kennedy center painting of the black child going to school with guards is good to have memorialized. It’s part of history.

DP. Now you're just being willfully obtuse. Yes NR painted Ruby Bridges, but when it comes to his paintings of families, it's all white. Yes it's a result of his employer's bias, but the fact remains that when someone refers to NR families, they're talking about white families.

I normally hate bringing in race into discussions. But in this case I can't help thinking that OP's husband has a bias, whether consciously or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where do you guys hang out? I’m white and like free food. Interested to see if my family passes the test.

Hilarious.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is sweet. Whenever we see a padre or two out for lunch DH will pay for their meal. I’ve had my meal and the whole table’s paid for while out to dinner with girlfriends. People are free to be charitable as they please, I think.[/quote]

A padre? You mean a priest? That's even more bizarre. Why would you buy their meals? They earn a salary, receive stipends for services performed outside of those duties (funerals, weddings), have healthcare, a pension, free housing.

Put your money to better use.[/quote]
No. I will buy meals for whoever I want, thank you.[/quote]

Look at you, supporting the patriarchy. I hope you realize you're part of the problem. Money should go to the needy, not the predators or exploiters.[/quote]

Bigot. I’m reporting your post. [/quote]

Another 12 year old gonna tell cos she got her feeeeeewings hurt. This site, like the rest of the internet, doesn't exist to protect your delicate sensibilities. Lawd what you are telling us about yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think both things are really strange. Is he clueless? I would insist he stop.

+1

Is her aspergers and misses social cues and normaties?

WHAT?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It does seem like he's racist in his characterization of what constitutes an American family. There are families everywhere, in all colors and shapes, so it's jarring that he's focusing only on the all white attractive young people. Your embarrassment at his forwardness belies your discomfort at his problematic views. This is more than his desire for grandchildren.

Can’t tell.

Can’t tell if this is OP’s implication or where they live or if she’s defining NR as “large families with lots of kids.”

Btw, NR art does not look like a Lily Pulitzer family photo day on Cape Cod. It’s pretty gritty and realistic inside look on raising a family in the 1950s. I believe he was based in Boston area? Where his museum is?

NORMAN ROCKWELL IS THE EPITOME OF WHITE AUTHORITY. He was barred by his employer from depicting Black families (or other non-whites) unless in servile positions.

If you cannot recognize this, you have an enormous blind spot about the effects of segregation and Jim Crow on American art, and you should re-educate yourself.
As does OP's husband, apparently.

Nostalgia for the Norman Rockwell era smacks dangerously of Make America Great Again. No, it was only great for certain whites, not even all whites.

No. He just painted life in Massachusetts in his time period. No Jim Crow up there nor a majority of the states. Stop making everything about race or one tiny aspect of one book publisher someone’s entire reputation.

Frankly the Kennedy center painting of the black child going to school with guards is good to have memorialized. It’s part of history.

DP. Now you're just being willfully obtuse. Yes NR painted Ruby Bridges, but when it comes to his paintings of families, it's all white. Yes it's a result of his employer's bias, but the fact remains that when someone refers to NR families, they're talking about white families.

I normally hate bringing in race into discussions. But in this case I can't help thinking that OP's husband has a bias, whether consciously or not.

What do you even mean by "bias"? Why are you so desperate to demonize some old man? There is nothing wrong with complimenting people who look like you. Indians, Arabics, Asians, and Black families are just as inclined to compliment each other. This is perfectly natural. It's human nature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It does seem like he's racist in his characterization of what constitutes an American family. There are families everywhere, in all colors and shapes, so it's jarring that he's focusing only on the all white attractive young people. Your embarrassment at his forwardness belies your discomfort at his problematic views. This is more than his desire for grandchildren.

Can’t tell.

Can’t tell if this is OP’s implication or where they live or if she’s defining NR as “large families with lots of kids.”

Btw, NR art does not look like a Lily Pulitzer family photo day on Cape Cod. It’s pretty gritty and realistic inside look on raising a family in the 1950s. I believe he was based in Boston area? Where his museum is?

NORMAN ROCKWELL IS THE EPITOME OF WHITE AUTHORITY. He was barred by his employer from depicting Black families (or other non-whites) unless in servile positions.

If you cannot recognize this, you have an enormous blind spot about the effects of segregation and Jim Crow on American art, and you should re-educate yourself.
As does OP's husband, apparently.

Nostalgia for the Norman Rockwell era smacks dangerously of Make America Great Again. No, it was only great for certain whites, not even all whites.

No. He just painted life in Massachusetts in his time period. No Jim Crow up there nor a majority of the states. Stop making everything about race or one tiny aspect of one book publisher someone’s entire reputation.

Frankly the Kennedy center painting of the black child going to school with guards is good to have memorialized. It’s part of history.

You are incorrect and delusional.

[Anonymous]

We’re not a pretty family as individuals, but I’m a white mom with an Asian DH and a mixed child. If we’re cleaned up and out and about together, we inevitably get the “what a beautiful family!” comments from older white men and women. I think it’s mostly happiness at seeing a family out together looking cleaned up and freshly pressed, but sometimes it’s obvious that the commenter is happy to see a mixed family and/or one with atypical gender/race mix.

The places I see this happen most to any kind of families are hotels, brunch places, church, and the pool clubhouse. I think it’s places where people are primed to make a social connection and are feeling outgoing and cheerful.

[Anonymous]

We get this quite often and we aren't model material. We are both thin, no tattoos, and don't wear sweats in public (I am usually wearing a cheap dress and husband jeans and t shirt.) When I look at the other families at Little League I can imagine their unbelievably sloppy appearances would be jarring to an older person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We get this quite often and we aren't model material. We are both thin, no tattoos, and don't wear sweats in public (I am usually wearing a cheap dress and husband jeans and t shirt.) When I look at the other families at Little League I can imagine their unbelievably sloppy appearances would be jarring to an older person.

These days being average or thin weight with no tattoos is a clear minority. Except perhaps for Asians.

[Anonymous]

We get compliments allll the time. I like it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A man once did this to me and my 4 kids in line at McDonalds. Complimented me about the kids (one had held the door for him) and then paid for our lunch. It made my day. It made my year! We could afford the lunch but it was so thoughtful to have a complete stranger do something so nice. Made a great impression on the kids too and we’ve since “paid it forward” multiple times. Your husband is a good man. Be thankful you picked well.

If some random did this when I was with my kids I’d be super weirded out.

[Anonymous]

I give compliments. They're nice. But giving compliments, and paying for meals, only for white families with lots of children, sounds far too Quiverfull to me, and seriously creepy.