Husband compliments classically “good looking families” in public. How to make him stop?

[Anonymous]

Did OP come back and explain what she meant?

[Anonymous]

Tell him nice guys pay the check for ugly families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is sweet. Whenever we see a padre or two out for lunch DH will pay for their meal. I’ve had my meal and the whole table’s paid for while out to dinner with girlfriends. People are free to be charitable as they please, I think.

A padre? You mean a priest? That's even more bizarre. Why would you buy their meals? They earn a salary, receive stipends for services performed outside of those duties (funerals, weddings), have healthcare, a pension, free housing.

Put your money to better use.

No. I will buy meals for whoever I want, thank you.

You certainly can, you brainwashed supporter of one of the most corrupt organizations on Earth.

[Anonymous]

He misses his grandkids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is sweet. Whenever we see a padre or two out for lunch DH will pay for their meal. I’ve had my meal and the whole table’s paid for while out to dinner with girlfriends. People are free to be charitable as they please, I think.

A padre? You mean a priest? That's even more bizarre. Why would you buy their meals? They earn a salary, receive stipends for services performed outside of those duties (funerals, weddings), have healthcare, a pension, free housing.

Put your money to better use.

No. I will buy meals for whoever I want, thank you.

You certainly can, you brainwashed supporter of one of the most corrupt organizations on Earth.

Mic drop!

[Anonymous]

Oh god this is the same kind of cringe (maybe not quite as bad) as my dad telling pregnant women they are beautiful (and you can tell he means in an attractive way, not a "beautiful Madonna" motherly way).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He’s a weirdo!

+1

[Anonymous]

My son and girlfriend had their meal paid for by another patron in the restaurant who also gave the message that he was glad to hear young people talk about their education, plans, etc., something like that. I thought it was nice, but it also struck me as someone dispensing their approval on behavior as it seems this person's husband is doing, selecting who is acceptable to their sensibility. I have found many people's compliments can be like this: "You sound so professional," comments on weight loss, requests to smile, etc. There often seems to be an element of judgment in it, and an assumption that the complimentor's POV matters a lot more than it does. This goes for both men and women who do this.

[Anonymous]

To get him to stop, I'd suggest that it comes off as condescending.

[Anonymous]

I pick up checks for attractive groups of women.

Husband is a mensch.

[Anonymous]

He pays for people he thinks are good-looking? Is he a eugenicist? That’s super odd.

[Anonymous]

He probably just misses the old times when most people around him looked like himself. I’m poc but I understand the nostalgia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son and girlfriend had their meal paid for by another patron in the restaurant who also gave the message that he was glad to hear young people talk about their education, plans, etc., something like that. I thought it was nice, but it also struck me as someone dispensing their approval on behavior as it seems this person's husband is doing, selecting who is acceptable to their sensibility. I have found many people's compliments can be like this: "You sound so professional," comments on weight loss, requests to smile, etc. There often seems to be an element of judgment in it, and an assumption that the complimentor's POV matters a lot more than it does. This goes for both men and women who do this.

100%. Well said

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are one of those families and it doesn't make our day. DH and I actually talked about it once, and it is a tiny signal that the person might be superficial. Maybe we're all stupid or abuse cats or litter or are terrible friends or drive drunk or a thousand other things. Being pretty isn't everything.

Newsflash: the focus is on your kids, not you.

[Anonymous]

I think the compliments are fine (the families don’t know he only compliments the “classically attractive” families — I occasionally get these comments when I’m out with my kids and assume the people giving them would say the same thing about any two smiling children) but paying for stuff for strangers is weird and uncomfortable.