Husband compliments classically “good looking families” in public. How to make him stop?

[Anonymous]

And they are always white families, I assume?

[Anonymous]

I have less of an issue with the action than him disliking others in America by their appearance. I mean you can have a preference and support who you want, but he doesn't even know these people. It feels too personal with the purchasing like he's projecting onto them that he and they are special. That said, I would just let him do it if you don't have monetary problems and express that it's his choice, but you hope he accepts everyone and doesn't prejudge. Maybe decide to support your own cause volunatily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is your problem with this? And what is a classically attractive family? Are we talking about race, gender, weight, clothing, what?

Use your words precisely. Don't leave us hanging and guessing.

He says like a Norman Rockwell painting; classically all-American. He thinks these days it’s so uncommon for attractive young people to have a bunch of kids that it is compliment-worthy when you see it. I think he’s yearning for more grandkids and this is his outlet. But it’s still a little forward, to me.

So white, in other words. How about a very attractive black man/white woman with good looking well dressed biracial kids? I'm guess that wouldn't fit his "Norman Rockwell" image.

That's a bit of an issue. Also the paying is weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is your problem with this? And what is a classically attractive family? Are we talking about race, gender, weight, clothing, what?

Use your words precisely. Don't leave us hanging and guessing.

He says like a Norman Rockwell painting; classically all-American. He thinks these days it’s so uncommon for attractive young people to have a bunch of kids that it is compliment-worthy when you see it. I think he’s yearning for more grandkids and this is his outlet. But it’s still a little forward, to me.

Wow. He just owns his racism, doesn't he? What an awful person. Tell him he's racist until he pays for an equal number of Black, Hispanic, Asian, Arab, multi-racial families and generally not Scandinavian-white families.

[Anonymous]

I think both things are really strange. Is he clueless? I would insist he stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is sweet. Whenever we see a padre or two out for lunch DH will pay for their meal. I’ve had my meal and the whole table’s paid for while out to dinner with girlfriends. People are free to be charitable as they please, I think.

A padre? You mean a priest? That's even more bizarre. Why would you buy their meals? They earn a salary, receive stipends for services performed outside of those duties (funerals, weddings), have healthcare, a pension, free housing.

Put your money to better use.

[Anonymous]

I like when people compliment my family. Usually it's not just *looks*, they're also complimenting how well behaved my kids are and that's something that we work hard to achieve.

[Anonymous]

Not gonna lie. When we were a young family of four very pretty blonde daughters we heard this ALL THE TIME. And it felt very nice to hear. Nobody ever picked up the check, but I would have welcomed it ha ha.

[Anonymous]

Is your husband my MIL? This is her favorite thing to say about other people's families. I have always ascribed it to an unhealthy obsession with wanting everything to look like a Christmas card, as she is most likely to say this when a family's outfits are coordinated. Please note I've never done a coordinated outfit Christmas card for my family and I do think this is a source of distress for her.

[Anonymous]

I definitely do not want to hear this.

It’s on par with men telling me to smile.

[Anonymous]

We got this a lot when DD was under age 5 but since then people stopped. Which might be just because people find older children less cute but I also think it's because now that we have an 8 year old they no longer feel like it makes sense to ask us "when are you having another," and the people who tend to talk about how good looking a family is do not find families with only children appealing.

[Anonymous]

It does seem like he's racist in his characterization of what constitutes an American family. There are families everywhere, in all colors and shapes, so it's jarring that he's focusing only on the all white attractive young people. Your embarrassment at his forwardness belies your discomfort at his problematic views. This is more than his desire for grandchildren.

[Anonymous]

He’s a weirdo!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is sweet. Whenever we see a padre or two out for lunch DH will pay for their meal. I’ve had my meal and the whole table’s paid for while out to dinner with girlfriends. People are free to be charitable as they please, I think.

A padre? You mean a priest? That's even more bizarre. Why would you buy their meals? They earn a salary, receive stipends for services performed outside of those duties (funerals, weddings), have healthcare, a pension, free housing.

Put your money to better use.

Here’s the thing: it’s their money and they can do whatever the hell they want with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your husband my MIL? This is her favorite thing to say about other people's families. I have always ascribed it to an unhealthy obsession with wanting everything to look like a Christmas card, as she is most likely to say this when a family's outfits are coordinated. Please note I've never done a coordinated outfit Christmas card for my family and I do think this is a source of distress for her.

Cue the mother in law insults! God I love DCUM. So toxic lol