Thought I was being ghosted after sex- but he texted- how to handle?

[Anonymous]

Is this the guy who invited OP over for champagne after he got a promotion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this the guy who invited OP over for champagne after he got a promotion?

Ooohhh, this is a real possibility.

[Anonymous]

It is inconsiderate to text 2 hours before (even tentative) plans. Forget the sex, forget whether plans were ideal, firmed up, etc. Its just inconsiderate bottom line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like Plan A for the game fell into place.

EXACTLY. I bet everything he texted is true: he was busy, will be thinking of you, but I can almost guarantee he’s not watching alone.

OP: Ugh. I'd be sad if that was true. So do you think I should just not reply? Wait and see if he reaches out again?

You are both adults. Give him the benefit of the doubt and have a conversation. If you aren't comfortable with the situation, discuss it.

[Anonymous]

If he isn’t already bending over backwards to plan a make-up date, you have your answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like Plan A for the game fell into place.

EXACTLY. I bet everything he texted is true: he was busy, will be thinking of you, but I can almost guarantee he’s not watching alone.

OP: Ugh. I'd be sad if that was true. So do you think I should just not reply? Wait and see if he reaches out again?

You are both adults. Give him the benefit of the doubt and have a conversation. If you aren't comfortable with the situation, discuss it.

Lol, no. A therapy session kinda talk in early stages of dating is not how falling in love looks like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he isn’t already bending over backwards to plan a make-up date, you have your answer.

100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like Plan A for the game fell into place.

EXACTLY. I bet everything he texted is true: he was busy, will be thinking of you, but I can almost guarantee he’s not watching alone.

OP: Ugh. I'd be sad if that was true. So do you think I should just not reply? Wait and see if he reaches out again?

You are both adults. Give him the benefit of the doubt and have a conversation. If you aren't comfortable with the situation, discuss it.

Lol, no. A therapy session kinda talk in early stages of dating is not how falling in love looks like.

Def a way to lose the magic. That said, some folks are thick - misread social cues. Decide if you like him enough to give him one more try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Love how guys think it’s no big deal for a woman to have sex with them on the third date but a courtesy call or text is way too much investment. This is not balanced at all.

Yup. Good enough to have sex with but not good enough to watch a damn game with.

I mean, is it that big of a deal? Not calling would be more of an issue than canceling a plan to watch tv. What is OP really upset about? They had tentative plans and aren’t a couple. If the game was that big of a deal to her, or she wanted to be sure to see him she could have confirmed too. It sounds like things aren’t that serious. Sex is not a commitment. I’d be bummed it’s not taking off in her place, but I don’t think he did anything inherently wrong for where their at in dating. If she wants someone more available/attentive this prob isn’t the dude.

I don't think he did anything "inherently wrong," but this would cause me to have my guard back up (woman, here). At this stage in the relationship, I probably wouldn't call him out on it. But I wouldn't call him back. OP, if you're really interested in this guy, I would wait for him to call. And I probably wouldn't sleep with him again if he's not putting in more effort. He absolutely could have called. And a guy who is really into you would have. He may be really into you down the line, but he's not there yet.

Now if you're up for just casual sex because it's fun and don't need to think about where it's going, call him back if you want and hang out. But it doesn't sound like you're seeking or comfortable with something casual right now.

[Anonymous]

Why hasn't OP come back to report if anything happened?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why hasn't OP come back to report if anything happened?

Because she responded and now is back to square one?
I like updates, even if they come 6 months from now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why hasn't OP come back to report if anything happened?

Because she responded and now is back to square one?
I like updates, even if they come 6 months from now.

She will be back in a month asking a similar question.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks all. As far as an update, he called me on Valentine's Day late afternoon. He asked me out for this past Saturday and we had a great time. However, I sensed a different vibe. We had a conversation and I told him that I wasn't really interested in a casual situation with anyone right now. He said since he is recently separated, he's mostly looking for "friends" and if intimacy happens, it happens.

So, I kept calm and cut him off. I told him no hard feelings, and wish you the best, and am moving on.

I'm a bit sad because we really hit it off and he's a great guy, but obviously the timing is way off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks all. As far as an update, he called me on Valentine's Day late afternoon. He asked me out for this past Saturday and we had a great time. However, I sensed a different vibe. We had a conversation and I told him that I wasn't really interested in a casual situation with anyone right now. He said since he is recently separated, he's mostly looking for "friends" and if intimacy happens, it happens.

So, I kept calm and cut him off. I told him no hard feelings, and wish you the best, and am moving on.

I'm a bit sad because we really hit it off and he's a great guy, but obviously the timing is way off.

Good for you. The guy is full of it. Not looking for intimacy but is having sex with women? You're dodging a bullet.

[Anonymous]

So he is just separated, not divorced yet?