Thought I was being ghosted after sex- but he texted- how to handle?

[Anonymous]

So you got out of watching football. This seems like a win to me.

[Anonymous]

do not respond

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are y’all kidding? 24 hours are in a day and it literally takes 2 seconds to tell someone that you won’t be making game etc. He’s lost some interest. Guy here.

I'm not a guy but I agree with this guy. I bet if more men responded they would agree with this guy too.

I think he was gung ho until you had sex. Then either he simply got what he wanted, or his mind wasn't blown by the sex and now his interest has cooled off. I would back way off and see what happens next. The ball should now be in his court. If he's a guy who will start becoming less communicative and less willing to keep plans you two had made already you need to find that out now.

I'm a guy. They have been on 5 dates. They made vague plans to watch half of the Super Bowl together. From his perspective, he may have thought she wasn't really interested in the game and thus no need to follow up quickly, especially if he's suddenly slammed with work. It might be that he is taking this all less seriously than OP, but if they are otherwise having a great time together, why throw it away over this? Why not just have fun? If she wants to make it super serious, she should have that conversation with the guy. But OP should be prepared to be disappointed because this guy may want a more relaxed situation than OP wants.

Honey. Most women do not want a situation where they are having casual sex with a guy who isn’t serious about them and blows them off at the last minute.

[Anonymous]

Why not be honest? Something like, “sorry to hear you’ve been swamped. I was looking forward to watching the game with you, but could have made other plans if you’d let me know sooner.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. OP, this is a bad sign. Sounds like you had solid plans and he didn’t have the courtesy to provide notice (if he was busy he would’ve seen a cancel coming…….) and was super casual about it when he did, offering “thoughts of you” during the game? This is giving me player vibes, and I’d drop him if I were you. It probably won’t get better but if you want to find out, don’t respond to his text and see what he does. If he asks what’s up, tell him why you went MIA. His response to that will let you know if he’s worth another second of your time.

Plus 1

[Anonymous]

Did you ever hear from him, OP? If not, delete him from your phone. Next.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you ever hear from him, OP? If not, delete him from your phone. Next.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not be honest? Something like, “sorry to hear you’ve been swamped. I was looking forward to watching the game with you, but could have made other plans if you’d let me know sooner.”

That's not the real issue and you're making it more comfortable for the man in this situation.
The real issue is that he didn't want to spend the planned time with her, after he slept with her. There is no point of mentioning that to him, he knows what he did.
And more importantly, there is no point of begging him for his precious company. He is not that special.

OP, please, wise up - this is BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he was watching the SB with friends. Maybe he wants to dial back from the intensity of it. Maybe it is awkward to acknowledge Valentines Day when you effed up the weekend plans. Dial it back. It really has only been 5 dates. Or reply. I don’t see the harm if you can keep your expectations in check. You’re too old for games.

Oh, I'm sure he wants to do exactly that, but he had a chance to dial back before he started sleeping with her. He didn't!

[Anonymous]

I think if it were any other night, this would be no big deal.

However, this is a night that a lot of people get together so it sounds like he ditched you for someone else. I mean it could have been just a bunch of male friends. If he even said that, I think that could be fine too. Like if he said his buddy Al is having friends over, could we do dinner on Valentine’s Day instead. But canceling right before with no reschedule plans doesn’t look good. Cancel Super Bowl very last minute and no mention of Valentines.

He either has someone else or just isn’t that into you, OP. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

OP are you still here?
I would not respond. Block his number.
He is a lying piece of shit.
He is.
You know this.

[Anonymous]

It would have been best if he had just ghosted you instead of this non-sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not be honest? Something like, “sorry to hear you’ve been swamped. I was looking forward to watching the game with you, but could have made other plans if you’d let me know sooner.”

That's not the real issue and you're making it more comfortable for the man in this situation.
The real issue is that he didn't want to spend the planned time with her, after he slept with her. There is no point of mentioning that to him, he knows what he did.
And more importantly, there is no point of begging him for his precious company. He is not that special.

OP, please, wise up - this is BS.

I agree with this. The guy doesn’t need a lesson on communication. He’s a grown men and knows what he’s doing, he’s hoping OP is easy and will roll with his BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:do not respond

This. Definitely don't respond with any sort of letting him off the hook, and it looks a little too nuts to scold him at this stage. His behavior was really bad and his follow up text was extremely lame. Don't be desperate enough to respond to that. If he follows up to request a solid date like taking you out to dinner, then you can go if you want to see how things play out. But I couldn't put up with someone making plans with me then just not following through on the details, then offering a lame excuse with no offer to make it up.

Good luck OP. You sound reliable and deserve better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are y’all kidding? 24 hours are in a day and it literally takes 2 seconds to tell someone that you won’t be making game etc. He’s lost some interest. Guy here.

I'm not a guy but I agree with this guy. I bet if more men responded they would agree with this guy too.

I think he was gung ho until you had sex. Then either he simply got what he wanted, or his mind wasn't blown by the sex and now his interest has cooled off. I would back way off and see what happens next. The ball should now be in his court. If he's a guy who will start becoming less communicative and less willing to keep plans you two had made already you need to find that out now.

I'm a guy. They have been on 5 dates. They made vague plans to watch half of the Super Bowl together. From his perspective, he may have thought she wasn't really interested in the game and thus no need to follow up quickly, especially if he's suddenly slammed with work. It might be that he is taking this all less seriously than OP, but if they are otherwise having a great time together, why throw it away over this? Why not just have fun? If she wants to make it super serious, she should have that conversation with the guy. But OP should be prepared to be disappointed because this guy may want a more relaxed situation than OP wants.

Honey. Most women do not want a situation where they are having casual sex with a guy who isn’t serious about them and blows them off at the last minute.

Most guys don't want a woman who can't make a plan and yet demand constant follow up texting -- after FIVE dates! Good luck to OP finding someone who wants to deal with that.