Thought I was being ghosted after sex- but he texted- how to handle?

[Anonymous]

I’d respond: hope your work thing got sorted out or something along those lines. I would NOT say I understand or no big deal or whatever to let him off the hook for not communicating w you. He early could’ve texted you earlier and it sounds like he didn’t sufficiently apologize for/acknowledge his lack of communication.

I wouldn’t expect this relationship to work out, unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you the one who had him over for champagne after his promotion?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he found better plans. Total BS on being swamped at work for 6:30pm on super bowl Sunday.

[Anonymous]

I may give him one chance and one more chance only.

I wouldn’t exactly call him ghosting you. That means he just disappears. He cancelled last minute. Very rude.

[Anonymous]

The roller coaster of “I thought I was being ghosted but I was wrong” is horrible. You have to either not care about him at all or move on to someone who treats you better.

This type of people can damage you if you’re not careful.

[Anonymous]

He's back burnering you.

Plan A for the game fell into place, so he pulled the "I was busy" card. He has a date tonight, and it's not you. Are you ok with that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are y’all kidding? 24 hours are in a day and it literally takes 2 seconds to tell someone that you won’t be making game etc. He’s lost some interest. Guy here.

I'm not a guy but I agree with this guy. I bet if more men responded they would agree with this guy too.

I think he was gung ho until you had sex. Then either he simply got what he wanted, or his mind wasn't blown by the sex and now his interest has cooled off. I would back way off and see what happens next. The ball should now be in his court. If he's a guy who will start becoming less communicative and less willing to keep plans you two had made already you need to find that out now.

I'm a guy. They have been on 5 dates. They made vague plans to watch half of the Super Bowl together. From his perspective, he may have thought she wasn't really interested in the game and thus no need to follow up quickly, especially if he's suddenly slammed with work. It might be that he is taking this all less seriously than OP, but if they are otherwise having a great time together, why throw it away over this? Why not just have fun? If she wants to make it super serious, she should have that conversation with the guy. But OP should be prepared to be disappointed because this guy may want a more relaxed situation than OP wants.

Whose fun are you talking about? It's obviously NOT fun for OP to sit until 4pm on the day of the date only to get a lame text.

And that's an ill advise to have conversation about being "super serious"; that type of conversation is never necessary with men who genuinely want to be with you.

There were no plans. If she was sitting around waiting for a text and getting all worked up, that's on her. My point is, if she chills out, she could have more fun, and they could have more fun together. If what she wants is something super serious, then she needs to make that clear. He might bolt -- probably will -- but it is better than this passive aggressive game she is playing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are y’all kidding? 24 hours are in a day and it literally takes 2 seconds to tell someone that you won’t be making game etc. He’s lost some interest. Guy here.

I'm not a guy but I agree with this guy. I bet if more men responded they would agree with this guy too.

I think he was gung ho until you had sex. Then either he simply got what he wanted, or his mind wasn't blown by the sex and now his interest has cooled off. I would back way off and see what happens next. The ball should now be in his court. If he's a guy who will start becoming less communicative and less willing to keep plans you two had made already you need to find that out now.

I'm a guy. They have been on 5 dates. They made vague plans to watch half of the Super Bowl together. From his perspective, he may have thought she wasn't really interested in the game and thus no need to follow up quickly, especially if he's suddenly slammed with work. It might be that he is taking this all less seriously than OP, but if they are otherwise having a great time together, why throw it away over this? Why not just have fun? If she wants to make it super serious, she should have that conversation with the guy. But OP should be prepared to be disappointed because this guy may want a more relaxed situation than OP wants.

Whose fun are you talking about? It's obviously NOT fun for OP to sit until 4pm on the day of the date only to get a lame text.

And that's an ill advise to have conversation about being "super serious"; that type of conversation is never necessary with men who genuinely want to be with you.

There were no plans. If she was sitting around waiting for a text and getting all worked up, that's on her. My point is, if she chills out, she could have more fun, and they could have more fun together. If what she wants is something super serious, then she needs to make that clear. He might bolt -- probably will -- but it is better than this passive aggressive game she is playing.

Dude. They were talking about doing this thing together and he just failed to show up then sent a lame text with a lame excuse. After they had sex for the first time. She's not being passive aggressive - she's understandably upset because she thought they were doing one thing, and through his action he's shown that he is not actually doing that thing. Who needs that? That's not fun. Fun is when you can count on someone to be where they say they'll be, when they say they'll be there. It's not being strung along never knowing if your plans are actual plans until the last minute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are y’all kidding? 24 hours are in a day and it literally takes 2 seconds to tell someone that you won’t be making game etc. He’s lost some interest. Guy here.

I'm not a guy but I agree with this guy. I bet if more men responded they would agree with this guy too.

I think he was gung ho until you had sex. Then either he simply got what he wanted, or his mind wasn't blown by the sex and now his interest has cooled off. I would back way off and see what happens next. The ball should now be in his court. If he's a guy who will start becoming less communicative and less willing to keep plans you two had made already you need to find that out now.

I'm a guy. They have been on 5 dates. They made vague plans to watch half of the Super Bowl together. From his perspective, he may have thought she wasn't really interested in the game and thus no need to follow up quickly, especially if he's suddenly slammed with work. It might be that he is taking this all less seriously than OP, but if they are otherwise having a great time together, why throw it away over this? Why not just have fun? If she wants to make it super serious, she should have that conversation with the guy. But OP should be prepared to be disappointed because this guy may want a more relaxed situation than OP wants.

Whose fun are you talking about? It's obviously NOT fun for OP to sit until 4pm on the day of the date only to get a lame text.

And that's an ill advise to have conversation about being "super serious"; that type of conversation is never necessary with men who genuinely want to be with you.

There were no plans. If she was sitting around waiting for a text and getting all worked up, that's on her. My point is, if she chills out, she could have more fun, and they could have more fun together. If what she wants is something super serious, then she needs to make that clear. He might bolt -- probably will -- but it is better than this passive aggressive game she is playing.

Dude. They were talking about doing this thing together and he just failed to show up then sent a lame text with a lame excuse. After they had sex for the first time. She's not being passive aggressive - she's understandably upset because she thought they were doing one thing, and through his action he's shown that he is not actually doing that thing. Who needs that? That's not fun. Fun is when you can count on someone to be where they say they'll be, when they say they'll be there. It's not being strung along never knowing if your plans are actual plans until the last minute.

But they never made the plan! They've been on 5 dates! You are acting like they have been married for 20 years and he didn't show up to get her after surgery. If she wants to kill something fun because this guy isn't hanging on her every text, then yes, she should do that. But if she likes hanging out with him, then she should chill out and have fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are y’all kidding? 24 hours are in a day and it literally takes 2 seconds to tell someone that you won’t be making game etc. He’s lost some interest. Guy here.

I'm not a guy but I agree with this guy. I bet if more men responded they would agree with this guy too.

I think he was gung ho until you had sex. Then either he simply got what he wanted, or his mind wasn't blown by the sex and now his interest has cooled off. I would back way off and see what happens next. The ball should now be in his court. If he's a guy who will start becoming less communicative and less willing to keep plans you two had made already you need to find that out now.

I'm a guy. They have been on 5 dates. They made vague plans to watch half of the Super Bowl together. From his perspective, he may have thought she wasn't really interested in the game and thus no need to follow up quickly, especially if he's suddenly slammed with work. It might be that he is taking this all less seriously than OP, but if they are otherwise having a great time together, why throw it away over this? Why not just have fun? If she wants to make it super serious, she should have that conversation with the guy. But OP should be prepared to be disappointed because this guy may want a more relaxed situation than OP wants.

Whose fun are you talking about? It's obviously NOT fun for OP to sit until 4pm on the day of the date only to get a lame text.

And that's an ill advise to have conversation about being "super serious"; that type of conversation is never necessary with men who genuinely want to be with you.

There were no plans. If she was sitting around waiting for a text and getting all worked up, that's on her. My point is, if she chills out, she could have more fun, and they could have more fun together. If what she wants is something super serious, then she needs to make that clear. He might bolt -- probably will -- but it is better than this passive aggressive game she is playing.

Dude. They were talking about doing this thing together and he just failed to show up then sent a lame text with a lame excuse. After they had sex for the first time. She's not being passive aggressive - she's understandably upset because she thought they were doing one thing, and through his action he's shown that he is not actually doing that thing. Who needs that? That's not fun. Fun is when you can count on someone to be where they say they'll be, when they say they'll be there. It's not being strung along never knowing if your plans are actual plans until the last minute.

+1. Not fun for me to not be able to take someone’s words at face value. Life’s too short to play games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you the one who had him over for champagne after his promotion?

I think is the same OP. This behavior goes perfect with the lame text that he sent her the next day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you the one who had him over for champagne after his promotion?

I think is the same OP. This behavior goes perfect with the lame text that he sent her the next day.

Sometimes entrepreneurs just like the chase. It’s a personality type. They are all in while hunting, once they got what they wanted the interest cools.

[Anonymous]

OP,

Did you hear from him today or not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are y’all kidding? 24 hours are in a day and it literally takes 2 seconds to tell someone that you won’t be making game etc. He’s lost some interest. Guy here.

I'm not a guy but I agree with this guy. I bet if more men responded they would agree with this guy too.

I think he was gung ho until you had sex. Then either he simply got what he wanted, or his mind wasn't blown by the sex and now his interest has cooled off. I would back way off and see what happens next. The ball should now be in his court. If he's a guy who will start becoming less communicative and less willing to keep plans you two had made already you need to find that out now.

I'm a guy. They have been on 5 dates. They made vague plans to watch half of the Super Bowl together. From his perspective, he may have thought she wasn't really interested in the game and thus no need to follow up quickly, especially if he's suddenly slammed with work. It might be that he is taking this all less seriously than OP, but if they are otherwise having a great time together, why throw it away over this? Why not just have fun? If she wants to make it super serious, she should have that conversation with the guy. But OP should be prepared to be disappointed because this guy may want a more relaxed situation than OP wants.

Whose fun are you talking about? It's obviously NOT fun for OP to sit until 4pm on the day of the date only to get a lame text.

And that's an ill advise to have conversation about being "super serious"; that type of conversation is never necessary with men who genuinely want to be with you.

There were no plans. If she was sitting around waiting for a text and getting all worked up, that's on her. My point is, if she chills out, she could have more fun, and they could have more fun together. If what she wants is something super serious, then she needs to make that clear. He might bolt -- probably will -- but it is better than this passive aggressive game she is playing.

Dude. They were talking about doing this thing together and he just failed to show up then sent a lame text with a lame excuse. After they had sex for the first time. She's not being passive aggressive - she's understandably upset because she thought they were doing one thing, and through his action he's shown that he is not actually doing that thing. Who needs that? That's not fun. Fun is when you can count on someone to be where they say they'll be, when they say they'll be there. It's not being strung along never knowing if your plans are actual plans until the last minute.

But they never made the plan! They've been on 5 dates! You are acting like they have been married for 20 years and he didn't show up to get her after surgery. If she wants to kill something fun because this guy isn't hanging on her every text, then yes, she should do that. But if she likes hanging out with him, then she should chill out and have fun.

They had multiple conversations about where they would do this together, then he just bailed. To me, that's not fun. And it's not possible to chill when someone is holding you in that state where you never know if they'll show up or if they're just talk. It's a much different thing when you're married - but early on in dating you're letting someone know what to expect from you. This guy just taught OP to expect he's going to flake on her when she thinks they have plans. Not fun.

[Anonymous]

He should have called you instead of sending a text, but we already know he’s not the kind to that.