Wife’s past

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Wife wanted to know how many sexual partners I’ve had. I didn’t answer. She assumed it was more than her. She’d laugh (?) if it were 2 very short term flings, no? When she asked my stomach dropped. I’m so crushed by this past of mine.

As a woman with a very colorful past, I seriously do not care how many partners a man has had. I would never laugh at someone with only 2.

[Anonymous]

She's a bit reserved and made me "wait" when we first met (I actually thought about leaving her initially because I questioned why she would purposely block intimacy without an explanation and made me question what might be wrong). Most disturbing is that she had a one-night fling with a friend (despite her sexually reserved attitude with me when we first met) and other stories indicate a more free/adventurous sexual past.

If she had slept with you on the first date would you have asked her for a second one? Or would you have written her off as a slut?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Wife wanted to know how many sexual partners I’ve had. I didn’t answer. She assumed it was more than her. She’d laugh (?) if it were 2 very short term flings, no? When she asked my stomach dropped. I’m so crushed by this past of mine.

As a woman with a very colorful past, I seriously do not care how many partners a man has had. I would never laugh at someone with only 2.

OP, this just in - you care about your experience 100,000 times more than any woman.

[Anonymous]

OP the fact that you have not responded to the multiple posts asking if you've been reading red pill material lately tells me what's what going on. Stay away. Too much hostility, bitterness and aggression - and zero usefulness material for a successful long term marriage. It's just making you feel toxic, step away

[Anonymous]

Don't even bother commenting on this thread if you aren't 100% supportive of women having sex with dozens of random men.
Your comment will be censored

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I know what female interest looks like. Had lots of it post HS but couldn’t break down initial barriers (cold approaches). Have less barriers now given life changes and a bit more confidence. I make them laugh, smile but never ever suggest more or allow more. Been asked for drinks etc but turn it down so no, I’m not deluded. Could have had many opportunities given business travels but don’t even let that get anywhere near happening. Contrary to the angry women here reading into things too much, I’m not an asshole.

I think if I poached her from a convenant this wouldn’t bother me. Yeah I missed out but she did too. Maybe we’d have similar expectations now and not be content with routine because the wild/exciting was never gotten out of the way. More drive now too? I don’t know.

I have to let this go. I get it.

You are a petty, bitter, little man. I hope you find your way over this and never breathe a word of it to your wife. If you want more and varied sex with your wife just ask for it and leave her past out if it. If you can't do that, I hate to break it to you but you aren't as confident as you think.

This post is irrationally vitrolic. Overcompensating for prior behavior PP?

My wife and I met when we were both in college. Both only had one partner before (in both cases a LTR). Never bothered me to settle down young but very happy wife didn't sleep around.

OPs point of view would be considered normal by 95% plus of people who ever walked the earth. Only in our very unusual culture (big coastal city lots of yuppies with liberal arts education (indoctrination?)) is it verboten to think like this.

It would be far better to offer OP constructive advice on how to work through this. Unless of course your just stirring the pot or trying to blow up an anonymous stranger's marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I know what female interest looks like. Had lots of it post HS but couldn’t break down initial barriers (cold approaches). Have less barriers now given life changes and a bit more confidence. I make them laugh, smile but never ever suggest more or allow more. Been asked for drinks etc but turn it down so no, I’m not deluded. Could have had many opportunities given business travels but don’t even let that get anywhere near happening. Contrary to the angry women here reading into things too much, I’m not an asshole.

I think if I poached her from a convenant this wouldn’t bother me. Yeah I missed out but she did too. Maybe we’d have similar expectations now and not be content with routine because the wild/exciting was never gotten out of the way. More drive now too? I don’t know.

I have to let this go. I get it.

You are a petty, bitter, little man. I hope you find your way over this and never breathe a word of it to your wife. If you want more and varied sex with your wife just ask for it and leave her past out if it. If you can't do that, I hate to break it to you but you aren't as confident as you think.

This post is irrationally vitrolic. Overcompensating for prior behavior PP?

My wife and I met when we were both in college. Both only had one partner before (in both cases a LTR). Never bothered me to settle down young but very happy wife didn't sleep around.

OPs point of view would be considered normal by 95% plus of people who ever walked the earth. Only in our very unusual culture (big coastal city lots of yuppies with liberal arts education (indoctrination?)) is it verboten to think like this.

It would be far better to offer OP constructive advice on how to work through this. Unless of course your just stirring the pot or trying to blow up an anonymous stranger's marriage.

95% of people who ever walked the earth would also think it's fine to rape, steal, and kill. That's not really what you should base your morals on.

The issue is that people are typically judgmental of women's past, but not men's. If someone holds men to the same standard of chastity, I have no problem with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I know what female interest looks like. Had lots of it post HS but couldn’t break down initial barriers (cold approaches). Have less barriers now given life changes and a bit more confidence. I make them laugh, smile but never ever suggest more or allow more. Been asked for drinks etc but turn it down so no, I’m not deluded. Could have had many opportunities given business travels but don’t even let that get anywhere near happening. Contrary to the angry women here reading into things too much, I’m not an asshole.

I think if I poached her from a convenant this wouldn’t bother me. Yeah I missed out but she did too. Maybe we’d have similar expectations now and not be content with routine because the wild/exciting was never gotten out of the way. More drive now too? I don’t know.

I have to let this go. I get it.

You are a petty, bitter, little man. I hope you find your way over this and never breathe a word of it to your wife. If you want more and varied sex with your wife just ask for it and leave her past out if it. If you can't do that, I hate to break it to you but you aren't as confident as you think.

This post is irrationally vitrolic. Overcompensating for prior behavior PP?

My wife and I met when we were both in college. Both only had one partner before (in both cases a LTR). Never bothered me to settle down young but very happy wife didn't sleep around.

OPs point of view would be considered normal by 95% plus of people who ever walked the earth. Only in our very unusual culture (big coastal city lots of yuppies with liberal arts education (indoctrination?)) is it verboten to think like this.

It would be far better to offer OP constructive advice on how to work through this. Unless of course your just stirring the pot or trying to blow up an anonymous stranger's marriage.

Vitriolic? His posts are petty. PP offered advice, to ask for more varied sex because he wants it, not in the context of his wife's former "sluttiness" and how much it bothers him. All of his follow ups harp on how he missed out and not on how he will use his newfound confidence to ask for what he wants. That's bitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I know what female interest looks like. Had lots of it post HS but couldn’t break down initial barriers (cold approaches). Have less barriers now given life changes and a bit more confidence. I make them laugh, smile but never ever suggest more or allow more. Been asked for drinks etc but turn it down so no, I’m not deluded. Could have had many opportunities given business travels but don’t even let that get anywhere near happening. Contrary to the angry women here reading into things too much, I’m not an asshole.

I think if I poached her from a convenant this wouldn’t bother me. Yeah I missed out but she did too. Maybe we’d have similar expectations now and not be content with routine because the wild/exciting was never gotten out of the way. More drive now too? I don’t know.

I have to let this go. I get it.

You are a petty, bitter, little man. I hope you find your way over this and never breathe a word of it to your wife. If you want more and varied sex with your wife just ask for it and leave her past out if it. If you can't do that, I hate to break it to you but you aren't as confident as you think.

This post is irrationally vitrolic. Overcompensating for prior behavior PP?

My wife and I met when we were both in college. Both only had one partner before (in both cases a LTR). Never bothered me to settle down young but very happy wife didn't sleep around.

OPs point of view would be considered normal by 95% plus of people who ever walked the earth. Only in our very unusual culture (big coastal city lots of yuppies with liberal arts education (indoctrination?)) is it verboten to think like this.

It would be far better to offer OP constructive advice on how to work through this. Unless of course your just stirring the pot or trying to blow up an anonymous stranger's marriage.

95% of people who ever walked the earth would also think it's fine to rape, steal, and kill. That's not really what you should base your morals on.

The issue is that people are typically judgmental of women's past, but not men's. If someone holds men to the same standard of chastity, I have no problem with that.

Not true. People are just as judgmental about men, but in the opposite sense. Women are judged for having too many partners. Men are judged for not having enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I know what female interest looks like. Had lots of it post HS but couldn’t break down initial barriers (cold approaches). Have less barriers now given life changes and a bit more confidence. I make them laugh, smile but never ever suggest more or allow more. Been asked for drinks etc but turn it down so no, I’m not deluded. Could have had many opportunities given business travels but don’t even let that get anywhere near happening. Contrary to the angry women here reading into things too much, I’m not an asshole.

I think if I poached her from a convenant this wouldn’t bother me. Yeah I missed out but she did too. Maybe we’d have similar expectations now and not be content with routine because the wild/exciting was never gotten out of the way. More drive now too? I don’t know.

I have to let this go. I get it.

You are a petty, bitter, little man. I hope you find your way over this and never breathe a word of it to your wife. If you want more and varied sex with your wife just ask for it and leave her past out if it. If you can't do that, I hate to break it to you but you aren't as confident as you think.

This post is irrationally vitrolic. Overcompensating for prior behavior PP?

My wife and I met when we were both in college. Both only had one partner before (in both cases a LTR). Never bothered me to settle down young but very happy wife didn't sleep around.

OPs point of view would be considered normal by 95% plus of people who ever walked the earth. Only in our very unusual culture (big coastal city lots of yuppies with liberal arts education (indoctrination?)) is it verboten to think like this.

It would be far better to offer OP constructive advice on how to work through this. Unless of course your just stirring the pot or trying to blow up an anonymous stranger's marriage.

Vitriolic? His posts are petty. PP offered advice, to ask for more varied sex because he wants it, not in the context of his wife's former "sluttiness" and how much it bothers him. All of his follow ups harp on how he missed out and not on how he will use his newfound confidence to ask for what he wants. That's bitter.

It is normal and natural for a man to be bothered about marrying a former slut (your words not mine). The biological impulse is to avoid paternal misattribuation but at this point even with birth control and paternity testing it's ingrained and won't be undone without genetic engineering and any man telling you otherwise is just trying to keep your and his spirits up. Also our bodies produce pair bonding hormones after sex that are diminished with each additional partner. Also risk of STDs. Choices have consequences.

That being said DH made marriage vows and needs to stick to them. But it's both wrong and counterproductive of you to try to brown bear him into pretending he's thrilled that his wife slept around or even that it doesn't matter -- it most certainly does.

[Anonymous]

It is normal and natural for a man to be bothered about marrying a former slut (your words not mine). The biological impulse is to avoid paternal misattribuation but at this point even with birth control and paternity testing it's ingrained and won't be undone without genetic engineering and any man telling you otherwise is just trying to keep your and his spirits up. Also our bodies produce pair bonding hormones after sex that are diminished with each additional partner. Also risk of STDs. Choices have consequences.

That being said DH made marriage vows and needs to stick to them. But it's both wrong and counterproductive of you to try to brown bear him into pretending he's thrilled that his wife slept around or even that it doesn't matter -- it most certainly does.

Separating one specific aspect from the person's character doesn't make sense. OP, most likely, would not have been attracted to his wife if she was of the covenant type. His personal issues and fears cause him to seek the outside factors of his dissatisfaction. He resorts to judgement instead figuring out how to have fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I know what female interest looks like. Had lots of it post HS but couldn’t break down initial barriers (cold approaches). Have less barriers now given life changes and a bit more confidence. I make them laugh, smile but never ever suggest more or allow more. Been asked for drinks etc but turn it down so no, I’m not deluded. Could have had many opportunities given business travels but don’t even let that get anywhere near happening. Contrary to the angry women here reading into things too much, I’m not an asshole.

I think if I poached her from a convenant this wouldn’t bother me. Yeah I missed out but she did too. Maybe we’d have similar expectations now and not be content with routine because the wild/exciting was never gotten out of the way. More drive now too? I don’t know.

I have to let this go. I get it.

You are a petty, bitter, little man. I hope you find your way over this and never breathe a word of it to your wife. If you want more and varied sex with your wife just ask for it and leave her past out if it. If you can't do that, I hate to break it to you but you aren't as confident as you think.

This post is irrationally vitrolic. Overcompensating for prior behavior PP?

My wife and I met when we were both in college. Both only had one partner before (in both cases a LTR). Never bothered me to settle down young but very happy wife didn't sleep around.

OPs point of view would be considered normal by 95% plus of people who ever walked the earth. Only in our very unusual culture (big coastal city lots of yuppies with liberal arts education (indoctrination?)) is it verboten to think like this.

It would be far better to offer OP constructive advice on how to work through this. Unless of course your just stirring the pot or trying to blow up an anonymous stranger's marriage.

Vitriolic? His posts are petty. PP offered advice, to ask for more varied sex because he wants it, not in the context of his wife's former "sluttiness" and how much it bothers him. All of his follow ups harp on how he missed out and not on how he will use his newfound confidence to ask for what he wants. That's bitter.

It is normal and natural for a man to be bothered about marrying a former slut (your words not mine). The biological impulse is to avoid paternal misattribuation but at this point even with birth control and paternity testing it's ingrained and won't be undone without genetic engineering and any man telling you otherwise is just trying to keep your and his spirits up. Also our bodies produce pair bonding hormones after sex that are diminished with each additional partner. Also risk of STDs. Choices have consequences.

That being said DH made marriage vows and needs to stick to them. But it's both wrong and counterproductive of you to try to brown bear him into pretending he's thrilled that his wife slept around or even that it doesn't matter -- it most certainly does.

If it mattered that much to him he should have inquired about this before getting married. And OP introduced the slut word into the conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Wife wanted to know how many sexual partners I’ve had. I didn’t answer. She assumed it was more than her. She’d laugh (?) if it were 2 very short term flings, no? When she asked my stomach dropped. I’m so crushed by this past of mine.

And there it is. The crux of the issue.

“Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.”

? Margaret Atwood

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Wife wanted to know how many sexual partners I’ve had. I didn’t answer. She assumed it was more than her. She’d laugh (?) if it were 2 very short term flings, no? When she asked my stomach dropped. I’m so crushed by this past of mine.

And there it is. The crux of the issue.

“Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.”

? Margaret Atwood

This is such a BS quote that "feminists" thrown around too often. Men are not afraid of being laughed at. They are afraid of false accusations or being made to look like the bad guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Wife wanted to know how many sexual partners I’ve had. I didn’t answer. She assumed it was more than her. She’d laugh (?) if it were 2 very short term flings, no? When she asked my stomach dropped. I’m so crushed by this past of mine.

And there it is. The crux of the issue.

“Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.”

? Margaret Atwood

This is such a BS quote that "feminists" thrown around too often. Men are not afraid of being laughed at. They are afraid of false accusations or being made to look like the bad guy.

OP is literally calling his wife (and mother of his 2 kids) a slut and invoking her dating past prior to a 13 year marriage in a clear attempt to justify stepping out on said marriage. Above, he opines that she might laugh at his true sexual past (highly unlikely). If that's not evidence of toxicity of the male ego I don't know what is.

Also, if you think this quote is BS you should spend more time with women. Try listening when you do it. It may help you.