Wife’s past

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here . I’m not a prude but that’s young IMO but also would have liked exp later in life. Why is that hard to understand? Some of you get a thrill responding viciously like I’m some sick asshole.

I married young with lack of sexual/relationship exp and feel like I missed out. My wife didn’t and feels content. I love her and our life but have this nagging lack of contentment given the fact this ship (me) is anchored (lovingly).

OP, first off, any woman in her 20s can get laid by a different guy every night of the week while for men, you face rejection and have many fewer options. That's a fact of life. What sparked all this coming out thirteen years later? And the poster who said women divide men into two types and go slower with relationship material is right. Personally, I never have and never will ask a woman about her sexual past. My focus is what is going on between the two of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Op here. First off I’m not ugly or weird. Handsome and shy more like it.

LOL I guarantee you that you are only handsome in your own eyes. Ugly guys can think they are handsome while beautiful women can worry constantly that they aren't pretty enough. If you were handsome, you would not have been a late bloomer.

Oh please, like that is some kind of guarantee?

[Anonymous]

I was orginally very put off by my wife’s past. Similar sounding circumstances as yours but mine is VERY sexual and has only gotten better with time. Regarding her past, the types of dudes she was with is the off putting thing—-not the number. Ten, fifteen, twenty—-it doesn’t matter if you really love her and you can be mutually sexually satisfied.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound terribly judgemental, in a passive aggressive way. She was a bit this, a tad that, "slightly this, IMO", did something disturbingly out-of-current-character way back when, slutty past, so reserved recent past as to be nearly dumped, current action level is decent without being particularly this or that, etc... Yikes! I wouldn't want a husband to be judging me this much, and so dispassionate!
Are you low testosterone?

Also, to all men out there, are we really supposed to give you a heads up before walking into a gathering "I had a one-night-stand with so-and-so 10 years ago", so you don't feel foolish?

Yes. If i Am married to u, u should talk to me if I am meeting someone you f’cked before. That is assumed for a real relationship

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound terribly judgemental, in a passive aggressive way. She was a bit this, a tad that, "slightly this, IMO", did something disturbingly out-of-current-character way back when, slutty past, so reserved recent past as to be nearly dumped, current action level is decent without being particularly this or that, etc... Yikes! I wouldn't want a husband to be judging me this much, and so dispassionate!
Are you low testosterone?

Also, to all men out there, are we really supposed to give you a heads up before walking into a gathering "I had a one-night-stand with so-and-so 10 years ago", so you don't feel foolish?

Yes. If i Am married to u, u should talk to me if I am meeting someone you f’cked before. That is assumed for a real relationship

Agree with this. If I went to a party and some guys you slept with was there and you didn’t tell me I’d be pissed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound terribly judgemental, in a passive aggressive way. She was a bit this, a tad that, "slightly this, IMO", did something disturbingly out-of-current-character way back when, slutty past, so reserved recent past as to be nearly dumped, current action level is decent without being particularly this or that, etc... Yikes! I wouldn't want a husband to be judging me this much, and so dispassionate!
Are you low testosterone?

Also, to all men out there, are we really supposed to give you a heads up before walking into a gathering "I had a one-night-stand with so-and-so 10 years ago", so you don't feel foolish?

Yes. If i Am married to u, u should talk to me if I am meeting someone you f’cked before. That is assumed for a real relationship

Agree with this. If I went to a party and some guys you slept with was there and you didn’t tell me I’d be pissed.

This is crazy. I don't want to know any of this info about you and I am not sharing mine, just as nobody else is sharing this info with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound terribly judgemental, in a passive aggressive way. She was a bit this, a tad that, "slightly this, IMO", did something disturbingly out-of-current-character way back when, slutty past, so reserved recent past as to be nearly dumped, current action level is decent without being particularly this or that, etc... Yikes! I wouldn't want a husband to be judging me this much, and so dispassionate!
Are you low testosterone?

Also, to all men out there, are we really supposed to give you a heads up before walking into a gathering "I had a one-night-stand with so-and-so 10 years ago", so you don't feel foolish?

Yes. If i Am married to u, u should talk to me if I am meeting someone you f’cked before. That is assumed for a real relationship

Agree with this. If I went to a party and some guys you slept with was there and you didn’t tell me I’d be pissed.

This is crazy. I don't want to know any of this info about you and I am not sharing mine, just as nobody else is sharing this info with you.

So some guy giving you sparkly eyes remembering all he did to you? You don’t know men. Not at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound terribly judgemental, in a passive aggressive way. She was a bit this, a tad that, "slightly this, IMO", did something disturbingly out-of-current-character way back when, slutty past, so reserved recent past as to be nearly dumped, current action level is decent without being particularly this or that, etc... Yikes! I wouldn't want a husband to be judging me this much, and so dispassionate!
Are you low testosterone?

Also, to all men out there, are we really supposed to give you a heads up before walking into a gathering "I had a one-night-stand with so-and-so 10 years ago", so you don't feel foolish?

Yes. If i Am married to u, u should talk to me if I am meeting someone you f’cked before. That is assumed for a real relationship

Agree with this. If I went to a party and some guys you slept with was there and you didn’t tell me I’d be pissed.

This is crazy. I don't want to know any of this info about you and I am not sharing mine, just as nobody else is sharing this info with you.

So some guy giving you sparkly eyes remembering all he did to you? You don’t know men. Not at all.

Those eyes are no different from the eyes who would love to do it. The bigger question is why are you looking into men's eyes. I never look at how women look at DH.

[Anonymous]

How old are you children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here . I’m not a prude but that’s young IMO but also would have liked exp later in life. Why is that hard to understand? Some of you get a thrill responding viciously like I’m some sick asshole.

I married young with lack of sexual/relationship exp and feel like I missed out. My wife didn’t and feels content. I love her and our life but have this nagging lack of contentment given the fact this ship (me) is anchored (lovingly).

You're married, dude. Ask. Try something you've wanted to experience and do it within the marriage. The reason she didn't sleep with you immediately all those years ago is that she saw potential in you for something better and long term. She held back because she wanted you for the long haul. All of these years in and you can't mention a new position you'd like to try? Come on, man. Talk to your lady, using "I" statements and enjoy what her experience may have taught her.Your wife doesn't have to be the woman you know in bed, if you let her know you dream of her being your 7th grade teacher you always wanted to bang. Liven things up. Initiate. Why choose to be bitter, when you can have the girl of your dreams? You missed out on as much bad sex as anything else. She saw you as special. Carry that notion to bed with you tonight, and start making suggestions. I have the Kama Sutra upstairs. Wanna borrow it?

You have a wife, explore more. Think of it as a gift. She's not sullied by this new knowledge you have. It may be the path to liberation, with you as the lucky recipient. Go for it, man!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I say this with all my kindness. It's not that your wife has been slutty. It's that you are particularly inexperienced for a man, having had sex with only two women before marrying.

A typical man in this area marries at mid-thirties after accumulating at least a double-digit and frequently a triple-digit list. That's why there is less resentment toward the wife's experience, and an unspoken understanding that she, too, has been around the block.

You married early. That's all there is to it. If you waited to marry, your past would have looked similar to your wife's, and none of this gnashing of teeth would be necessary.

There is no way a typical man in this area accumulates anything remotely close to such numbers. The men in this are are quite ugly. They should thank their lucky stars any female says yes.

[Anonymous]

My wife, who says she slept with more than 50 guys prior to our marriage, has gained over 30 pounds since our marriage 15 years ago (2 Kids) and now tips the scales at 180 and five foot seven. She has a diminished interest in sex and has body image issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Be careful OP-My friend’s husband did this to her after being married for 15 years. It was the beginning of his nervous breakdown.

Did what to her? We need more facts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do feel resentment my life has worked out backwards (inner issues and limited external opportunities when I was younger to more confidence and high external opportunities when married). That’s my frustration.

That's life. Honestly, because I'm more confident and in better shape than my peers I could have a "higher quality man" at this point in my life than I ended up with. You get what you get. You made your choices. No good whining over the fact that you are handsome now but were a nerd in high school. Seriously. Don't be a baby. Poor widdle thing.

Plus, you've been married how long? Predictable and routine sex is totally normal. You want something else? Make it happen and stop whining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. First off I’m not ugly or weird. Handsome and shy more like it. My wife actually married up in looks and no, I’m not deluded, just honest. Second I’m not abusive. I’m just shocked this old her isn’t matching up with the new. We have lots of predictable, routine type sex which is good but not as free or exciting as I think her past was. She’s a high strung lawyer now with kids (100% not cheating) so I think life is to blame for her more restrained libido.

I’m more jealous she had this experience and I didn’t. Internal reasons have lessened and external opportunities are presenting now (which weren’t there when I was younger) to grow my social circle and date/meet a ton of women (interest is heavily reciprocated). I’d never act on any of it but I do feel resentment my life has worked out backwards (inner issues and limited external opportunities when I was younger to more confidence and high external opportunities when married). That’s my frustration.

Have you been reading red pill stuff? It seems like married men read it, then suddenly think they are casanova and angry that they can't sleep with whoever they want (news flash: those women you think want to sleep with you? They probably don't, they are just being nice).

I slept with 70+ women in my 20s-mid 30s, and it's overrated. I don't think about it, I don't look back fondly on it. Nothing magical happened that I can't get with my DW. All I think now is that I was stupid for putting myself at risk for STDs and unwanted pregnancies.

Work on your marriage. The grass isn't greener on the other side, it's green where you water it.