Wife’s past

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here . I’m not a prude but that’s young IMO but also would have liked exp later in life. Why is that hard to understand? Some of you get a thrill responding viciously like I’m some sick asshole.

I married young with lack of sexual/relationship exp and feel like I missed out. My wife didn’t and feels content. I love her and our life but have this nagging lack of contentment given the fact this ship (me) is anchored (lovingly).

You've called your wife a slut and said she's not good looking enough for you, all because you're embarrassed by your own lack of experience. You are an asshole. Writing "lovingly" after every assholish thing you say doesn't erase what you've said.

+1 slippery slope to emotionally abusive

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. First off I’m not ugly or weird. Handsome and shy more like it. My wife actually married up in looks and no, I’m not deluded, just honest. Second I’m not abusive. I’m just shocked this old her isn’t matching up with the new. We have lots of predictable, routine type sex which is good but not as free or exciting as I think her past was. She’s a high strung lawyer now with kids (100% not cheating) so I think life is to blame for her more restrained libido.

I’m more jealous she had this experience and I didn’t. Internal reasons have lessened and external opportunities are presenting now (which weren’t there when I was younger) to grow my social circle and date/meet a ton of women (interest is heavily reciprocated). I’d never act on any of it but I do feel resentment my life has worked out backwards (inner issues and limited external opportunities when I was younger to more confidence and high external opportunities when married). That’s my frustration.

I called it on the first page, you're looking to justify cheating. Step one: villanize your wife.

Interesting, I see you had my comment removed. I feel oddly proud of that.

[Anonymous]

Never tell someone negative stuff about your past, or every person you've slept with. Really dumb imo. Your wife should have kept that stuff to herself because for one it's not your business OP. That was long before you. Secondly, it shouldn't affect your marriage whatsoever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never tell someone negative stuff about your past, or every person you've slept with. Really dumb imo. Your wife should have kept that stuff to herself because for one it's not your business OP. That was long before you. Secondly, it shouldn't affect your marriage whatsoever.

He probably acted like he was cool with it all, tricking her into a false sense of acceptance. She thought he loved her unconditionally, but he was searching for ammunition to use against her to justify his plans to cheat on her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here . I’m not a prude but that’s young IMO but also would have liked exp later in life. Why is that hard to understand? Some of you get a thrill responding viciously like I’m some sick asshole.

I married young with lack of sexual/relationship exp and feel like I missed out. My wife didn’t and feels content. I love her and our life but have this nagging lack of contentment given the fact this ship (me) is anchored (lovingly).

The bolded is your issue, and it has nothing to do with your wife and her past. If you were her first and you poached her from a convent, it wouldn't make you any more experienced. This conversation may be what put the issue into focus, but don't spend your time judging your wife for getting some before she met you. That's a bad road to go down, and misses the point. It's also more comfortable for you to focus on that external issue than to deal with the more frustrating fact that you now have the confidence and desire to sow some wild oats, but you can't do that and remain faithful. But that's the issue you have to deal with.

Talk to her about exploring more, sexually. Make sex a priority. You have young kids, so it might not be as spontaneous as you'd like, but it's worth the work.

[Anonymous]

LOL, OP you just got a couple months of behavioral therapy for free on DCUM.

It was never about DW, but instead was always about your feelings of inadequacy about your sexual experiences in your pre-marriage days.

Textbook case of rationalization.

[Anonymous]

Why did you ask to have so many responses deleted, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never tell someone negative stuff about your past, or every person you've slept with. Really dumb imo. Your wife should have kept that stuff to herself because for one it's not your business OP. That was long before you. Secondly, it shouldn't affect your marriage whatsoever.

He probably acted like he was cool with it all, tricking her into a false sense of acceptance. She thought he loved her unconditionally, but he was searching for ammunition to use against her to justify his plans to cheat on her.

Could be but I've seen many couples use it against the other when a fight occurs. Never tell too much.

[Anonymous]

Op here. First off I’m not ugly or weird. Handsome and shy more like it.

LOL I guarantee you that you are only handsome in your own eyes. Ugly guys can think they are handsome while beautiful women can worry constantly that they aren't pretty enough. If you were handsome, you would not have been a late bloomer.

[Anonymous]

I think OP you are dwelling on this for a reason - because you are unhappy with your marriage or just going thru a boredom plateau and looking for a reason to find trouble.

Honestly why get bothered now? Why even open up the conversation now? ITs ancient history and you were both different people back then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL, OP you just got a couple months of behavioral therapy for free on DCUM.

It was never about DW, but instead was always about your feelings of inadequacy about your sexual experiences in your pre-marriage days.

Textbook case of rationalization.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you ask to have so many responses deleted, OP?

If posts were removed it wasn't necessarily OP's doing, anyone can report a post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of us tried things early in life, due to experimenting or insecurity or peer pressure or teenage hormones or whatever, and decided that we did NOT like those things. We may have discovered early on that certain things were not enjoyable and we had no desire to ever do them again.

The fact that she tried things does not necessarily mean she enjoyed them. And if she didn’t, she is under no obligation to do them again, ever. Her sexuality isn’t a gift that she owes anyone - if she didn’t like it the first time around, why should she keep doing the same thing? And would you even want to engage in an activity that doesn’t bring her pleasure, just because she let someone else? That is thinking of her as an object to be owned, not a person you want to please.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you ask to have so many responses deleted, OP?

If posts were removed it wasn't necessarily OP's doing, anyone can report a post.

Come on, who but op would be offended at being called out for iwanting to cheat and be able to blame his wife for driving him to it?

[Anonymous]

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