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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. I know what female interest looks like. Had lots of it post HS but couldn’t break down initial barriers (cold approaches). Have less barriers now given life changes and a bit more confidence. I make them laugh, smile but never ever suggest more or allow more.  Been asked for drinks etc but turn it down so no, I’m not deluded. Could have had many opportunities given business travels but don’t even let that get anywhere near happening. Contrary to the angry women here reading into things too much, I’m not an asshole.

[b]I think if I poached her from a convenant this wouldn’t bother me. Yeah I missed out but she did too. [/b]Maybe we’d have similar expectations now and not be content with routine because the wild/exciting was never gotten out of the way.  More drive now too? I don’t know.

I have to let this go. I get it. [/quote]
You are a petty, bitter, little man. I hope you find your way over this and never breathe a word of it to your wife. If you want more and varied sex with your wife just ask for it and leave her past out if it. If you can't do that, I hate to break it to you but you aren't as confident as you think.[/quote]

This post is irrationally vitrolic.  Overcompensating for prior behavior PP?

My wife and I met when we were both in college.  Both only had one partner before (in both cases a LTR).  Never bothered me to settle down young but very happy wife didn't sleep around.

OPs point of view would be considered normal by 95% plus of people who ever walked the earth.  Only in our very unusual culture (big coastal city lots of yuppies with liberal arts education (indoctrination?)) is it verboten to think like this.

[b]It would be far better to offer OP constructive advice on how to work through this.  [/b]Unless of course your just stirring the pot or trying to blow up an anonymous stranger's marriage.[/quote]
Vitriolic? His posts are petty. PP offered advice, to ask for more varied sex because he wants it, not in the context of his wife's  former "sluttiness" and how much it bothers him. All of his follow ups harp on how he missed out and not on how he will use his newfound confidence to ask for what he wants. That's bitter.[/quote]

It is normal and natural for a man to be bothered about marrying a former slut (your words not mine).  The biological impulse is to avoid paternal misattribuation but at this point even with birth control and paternity testing it's ingrained and won't be undone without genetic engineering and any man telling you otherwise is just trying to keep your and his spirits up.  Also our bodies produce pair bonding hormones after sex that are diminished with each additional partner.  Also risk of STDs.  Choices have consequences.

That being said DH made marriage vows and needs to stick to them.  But it's both wrong and counterproductive of you to try to brown bear him into pretending he's thrilled that his wife slept around or even that it doesn't matter -- it most certainly does.
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