Found some strange panty hose, it wasn't mine....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His prior behavior is extreme. He has given you no reason to trust him, and every reason to distrust him - and yet he gets defensive and gaslights you when you are feeling insecure or uneasy.

Based on past events, basic logic can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that you cannot trust him. That doesn't necessarily mean he's cheating, but it seems you cannot have any expectations of him as a partner or husband.

I guess I'm wondering how you've remained in this marriage, truly.

How? Or why?
Because I remember who he was before he was sick, and I am hoping, that going through treatment, the man he was will come back.

OP, I am PP above ehi can really relate to this. You have to be a more active articupant in treatment if there is any hope of working this out and creating a stable long term relationship. The two keys are 1) participation in psychiatry visits and overall treatment and 2) putting legal framework in place (access to all finances, post-nuptial agreement pethaps, power of attorney and healthcare power for you to invoke on his behalf when he is ill, signed HIPPA so you can know about his treatment and talk with his doctors, etc.

Have you done these things?

Hope alone is not a plan. Trust but verify, as the Russians say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His prior behavior is extreme. He has given you no reason to trust him, and every reason to distrust him - and yet he gets defensive and gaslights you when you are feeling insecure or uneasy.

Based on past events, basic logic can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that you cannot trust him. That doesn't necessarily mean he's cheating, but it seems you cannot have any expectations of him as a partner or husband.

I guess I'm wondering how you've remained in this marriage, truly.

How? Or why?
Because I remember who he was before he was sick, and I am hoping, that going through treatment, the man he was will come back.

OP, I am PP above ehi can really relate to this. You have to be a more active articupant in treatment if there is any hope of working this out and creating a stable long term relationship. The two keys are 1) participation in psychiatry visits and overall treatment and 2) putting legal framework in place (access to all finances, post-nuptial agreement pethaps, power of attorney and healthcare power for you to invoke on his behalf when he is ill, signed HIPPA so you can know about his treatment and talk with his doctors, etc.

Have you done these things?

Hope alone is not a plan. Trust but verify, as the Russians say.

Yes, all this has been done. I am only excluded from his personal therapy with his therapist, and that is per the therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His prior behavior is extreme. He has given you no reason to trust him, and every reason to distrust him - and yet he gets defensive and gaslights you when you are feeling insecure or uneasy.

Based on past events, basic logic can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that you cannot trust him. That doesn't necessarily mean he's cheating, but it seems you cannot have any expectations of him as a partner or husband.

I guess I'm wondering how you've remained in this marriage, truly.

How? Or why?
Because I remember who he was before he was sick, and I am hoping, that going through treatment, the man he was will come back.

At what cost to your children? Where do you draw the line of what is too much? Disappearing for weeks? No. Secrect finances? No. Probable infidelity? No
You're a trooper op, but I worry for your kids.

Some people don't care about their kids. Some people don't care that they are not modeling healthy relationships. Some people don't care if their kid grows up thinking that being treated this way is ok. Some people don't care about the emotional stress the scenarios put on their kid. OP is one of those people. She's selfish, really no other way of putting it. Don't be surprised when your kid winds up in an abusive relationship OP, dear old mommy taught them that it was acceptable.

Nice try TROLL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His prior behavior is extreme. He has given you no reason to trust him, and every reason to distrust him - and yet he gets defensive and gaslights you when you are feeling insecure or uneasy.

Based on past events, basic logic can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that you cannot trust him. That doesn't necessarily mean he's cheating, but it seems you cannot have any expectations of him as a partner or husband.

I guess I'm wondering how you've remained in this marriage, truly.

How? Or why?
Because I remember who he was before he was sick, and I am hoping, that going through treatment, the man he was will come back.

OP, I am PP above ehi can really relate to this. You have to be a more active articupant in treatment if there is any hope of working this out and creating a stable long term relationship. The two keys are 1) participation in psychiatry visits and overall treatment and 2) putting legal framework in place (access to all finances, post-nuptial agreement pethaps, power of attorney and healthcare power for you to invoke on his behalf when he is ill, signed HIPPA so you can know about his treatment and talk with his doctors, etc.

Have you done these things?

Hope alone is not a plan. Trust but verify, as the Russians say.

Yes, all this has been done. I am only excluded from his personal therapy with his therapist, and that is per the therapist.

Do you never participate with the therapist? That is not a great set up. Therapist should be seeing you with him periodically. Not every visit, but maybe briefly every 2-4 weeks. Therapist ahould be helping him address issues with you both. Therapy is the right place to raise the issue of the stockings. Therapist needed to know this is an issue, see his reaction to you, and then therapist could work privately with DH to figure out what is going on and how to approach you and what you should know about how/whether illness is driving this behaviour. also, therapist should be helping to report symptoms yo paychiatrist so meds can be adjusted if appropriate.

Therapy cannot be effective if therapist is not getting outside input other than from patient.

This family participation is a best practice for bipolar treatment. If you have a therapist that is not open to family participation, that is a big red flag about therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His prior behavior is extreme. He has given you no reason to trust him, and every reason to distrust him - and yet he gets defensive and gaslights you when you are feeling insecure or uneasy.

Based on past events, basic logic can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that you cannot trust him. That doesn't necessarily mean he's cheating, but it seems you cannot have any expectations of him as a partner or husband.

I guess I'm wondering how you've remained in this marriage, truly.

How? Or why?
Because I remember who he was before he was sick, and I am hoping, that going through treatment, the man he was will come back.

At what cost to your children? Where do you draw the line of what is too much? Disappearing for weeks? No. Secrect finances? No. Probable infidelity? No
You're a trooper op, but I worry for your kids.

Some people don't care about their kids. Some people don't care that they are not modeling healthy relationships. Some people don't care if their kid grows up thinking that being treated this way is ok. Some people don't care about the emotional stress the scenarios put on their kid. OP is one of those people. She's selfish, really no other way of putting it. Don't be surprised when your kid winds up in an abusive relationship OP, dear old mommy taught them that it was acceptable.

Nice try TROLL.

It isn't trolling to express concern and also anger that op isn't considering the effect all of this has on the kids.

[Anonymous]

Leave OP. I was with someone like that and you deserve better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His prior behavior is extreme. He has given you no reason to trust him, and every reason to distrust him - and yet he gets defensive and gaslights you when you are feeling insecure or uneasy.

Based on past events, basic logic can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that you cannot trust him. That doesn't necessarily mean he's cheating, but it seems you cannot have any expectations of him as a partner or husband.

I guess I'm wondering how you've remained in this marriage, truly.

How? Or why?
Because I remember who he was before he was sick, and I am hoping, that going through treatment, the man he was will come back.

At what cost to your children? Where do you draw the line of what is too much? Disappearing for weeks? No. Secrect finances? No. Probable infidelity? No
You're a trooper op, but I worry for your kids.

Some people don't care about their kids. Some people don't care that they are not modeling healthy relationships. Some people don't care if their kid grows up thinking that being treated this way is ok. Some people don't care about the emotional stress the scenarios put on their kid. OP is one of those people. She's selfish, really no other way of putting it. Don't be surprised when your kid winds up in an abusive relationship OP, dear old mommy taught them that it was acceptable.

Nice try TROLL.

It isn't trolling to express concern and also anger that op isn't considering the effect all of this has on the kids.

+1 Coming from a similar background, selfishness is the only possible explanation.
Assuming OP is not a troll, how else could she possibly be worried about something trivial as his cheating, when he is disappearing for weeks with no notice, that too with a mental disorder? If he is that unstable, isn't letting him come and go a risk to her family.

[Anonymous]

Does he see a psychiatrist? You should be going to the psychiatrist with him, describing behaviors and moods, etc. Because he cannot do that accurately for himself, and the doctor can't correctly gauge what meds to try without this knowledge. Any decent psychiatrist will tell you that a stable person who lives with the patient is an invaluable resource. And you can also observe how meds affect him.

[Anonymous]

Call a divorce attorney ASAP. Cheaters are always cheaters.

[Anonymous]

Why are you still married?

If my wife took her ring off and disappeared for a month, I'd move on so fast there'd be a different family living in the house when she got back.

[Anonymous]

Hire an investigator to follow him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you still married?

If my wife took her ring off and disappeared for a month, I'd move on so fast there'd be a different family living in the house when she got back.

People who are harsh and black and white about life are self centered and of no use to God.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you still married?

If my wife took her ring off and disappeared for a month, I'd move on so fast there'd be a different family living in the house when she got back.

People who are harsh and black and white about life are self centered and of no use to God.

Perhaps, but they don't put up with bullshit and they live much happier lives.

[Anonymous]

Prostitutes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Prostitutes

And he brought home the pantry hosr as a souvenir? Then put them in DW's drawer?