Found some strange panty hose, it wasn't mine....

[Anonymous]

....it doesn't belong to my daughters or their friends either. It was put away in my drawer as DH does the laundry sometimes. When I asked him about it, he said he didn't know, I asked my daughters they didn't know.

So this isn't really whats bothering me.....

He took me to work and I was silent in the car, just thinking, about my work day and wondering where the pantyhose came from. He texted me that I seemed upset and I replied,"Just the usual feelings one would feel when finding women's underthings in her house that don't belong to her." And he exploded into a tantrum about being accused and he won't sit here and be accused of something he hasn't done, the pantyhose didn't come from him and I need to question my daughters and their friends some more, and I need to think things through before jumping to conclusions (??) and on and on about he is so sick of being accused of cheating, he isn't a cheater, and never has been, etc. etc.......

Now, I have never accused him of cheating, and I in no way even went there today. A couple years ago, he lost interest in sex and I asked him if there was someone else, he said no, and we moved on. A year ago, he had a mental break, was gone for a month to 6 weeks (as in just left home, not in hospital), took off his ring, said I should divorce him, blah blah blah...this is in the wake of him having several mental breaks in which he takes off his ring, disappears for days to weeks, to who knows where (well, HOTELS actually)....he got better, is now in treatment, and we have been trying to rebuild ever since. Recently, as in months ago, I asked him again if he had cheated on me (at any time during these mental break disappearances, specifically the month-long disappearance). I asked because he was gone for so long, he took off his ring and didn't wear it for months, and then I discovered he had a secret credit card along with a bank account I don't have access to. He became very agitated and said "Why would I do that? Why would I do that?" Never looked me in the eye and just said, "No I didn't cheat on you."

So today, with his reaction, I am taking it that he HAS cheated on me, otherwise why would he get so immediately angry and defensive, when I hadn't even said a single thing about it, didn't accuse, didn't ask. I literally had not even arrived at a conclusion.......what would you think?

[Anonymous]

No offense, but is this real? Obviously something is going on, either he has an AP or maybe he's a cross-dresser and/or gay.

[Anonymous]

Magic 8 ball says all signs point to yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No offense, but is this real? Obviously something is going on, either he has an AP or maybe he's a cross-dresser and/or gay.

Yes this real. No offense taken, I realize it is crazy.

[Anonymous]

I'm not saying you shouldn't be suspicious, but at the same time it's disingenuous for you to say that you didn't say anything about him cheating. Pointing out you found another woman's pantyhose in your house is exactly that. Not saying you're wrong, but yes, you did bring it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No offense, but is this real? Obviously something is going on, either he has an AP or maybe he's a cross-dresser and/or gay.

And it's too big for me or my daughters, but too small for him. And it's not any color/shade I would buy, and not the one and only brand I buy.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, who wears panty hose in this heat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not saying you shouldn't be suspicious, but at the same time it's disingenuous for you to say that you didn't say anything about him cheating. Pointing out you found another woman's pantyhose in your house is exactly that. Not saying you're wrong, but yes, you did bring it up.

DISAGREE.
Saying "these are not my pantyhose" is not accusing him of cheating. It is saying "These are not my pantyhose."

[Anonymous]

Your husband disappears for weeks?? Is he on a bender?

[Anonymous]

Of course you accused him of cheating. You believe that he cheated and you accused him - passive aggressively but you accused him.

Maybe you are right and you have a cheating husband. Maybe you are wrong and now you have a chasm to repair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband disappears for weeks?? Is he on a bender?

He is mentally ill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not saying you shouldn't be suspicious, but at the same time it's disingenuous for you to say that you didn't say anything about him cheating. Pointing out you found another woman's pantyhose in your house is exactly that. Not saying you're wrong, but yes, you did bring it up.

DISAGREE.
Saying "these are not my pantyhose" is not accusing him of cheating. It is saying "These are not my pantyhose."

Please . When you read the title thread, that wasn't one of your first thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, who wears panty hose in this heat?

+1. That was my question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not saying you shouldn't be suspicious, but at the same time it's disingenuous for you to say that you didn't say anything about him cheating. Pointing out you found another woman's pantyhose in your house is exactly that. Not saying you're wrong, but yes, you did bring it up.

DISAGREE.
Saying "these are not my pantyhose" is not accusing him of cheating. It is saying "These are not my pantyhose."

Please . When you read the title thread, that wasn't one of your first thoughts?

+1. Yes you did. "Just the usual feelings when finding women's underthings in her that don't belong to her". Totally passive aggressive.
PS., he is cheating and it sounds like he has done it numerous times during your marriage.

[Anonymous]

Serial killer