My DIL visibly cringes when I mention I saw her Facebook feed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An in that context, it would feel pretty weird if someone I didn't know very well would greet me with something like "oh I saw you had a nice vacation in Florida [when I was there for a friend's bachelorette]" or "wow seems like you had a great time at that wedding [of people this person doesn't know at all]." Like I get there is nothing wrong with them having seen those posts and to remember them later, but it would feel jarring and strange to have it brought up months later as though it was a significant thing in my life. When in reality, the stuff I posted on Facebook was rarely the most important stuff going on with me -- it was just the stuff I happened to do with people who posted about it to Facebook. Like being a guest at a wedding or attending someone's baby shower is fun but generally not a major highlight of my year. So being asked about it later as though it was equal to getting engaged or having a baby felt very odd.


Let's understand that it's perfectly ok to talk to someone about an event or experience they had, even a year ago. Yes, it is, dear.

It's ok to reference a picture or event people posted about. There's no secret club, no "what is said on FB, stays on FB." You are all mature adults, yes adults, and your parents are adults. You are now in the adult world. Not high school.

All adults in your life are not equal. You have immediate family, extended family, DH’s family, HS/college friends, work friends, mom friends, neighbors, acquaintances, BFFs. There are different topics, societal norms, and boundaries around those different relationships. IRL you wouldn’t be sharing the same info with every adult. It’s hard to target info for appropriate groups on FB so people need to gauge what is relevant to them.

For example, when my neighbor posts about a funny college experience to reminisce with college friends it’d be a little weird for me to bring it up with them months later out of context. But if my neighbor posted something funny that happened at salon where we both get our hair done, it wouldn’t be weird at all.

Basically, OP needs to stay in her lane.

Then learn how to group your friend list. It's that simple. Both FB and IG have these resources. Secondarily, just about everything you post has the potential to be public. Ask ANY HR personnel. Ask me, I can find anything! Lastly, use your networks as a public newspaper, not your therapy journal. That's just common sense.

This is just ridiculous.

I do use groups in general. Acquaintances don’t see much. But I don’t get down to the granular level of picking who exactly can see each post. I don’t post anything that I wouldn’t mind being public. I actually very rarely post anything anywhere anymore, but I never used it as a “therapy journal”.

Anyway, it’s more nuanced than that. It’s understanding context and boundaries about you fit into other people’ lives.

Given how you’re making assumptions and generalizations about generations of people in this thread might be an indication that you also struggle with context and boundaries.

Not at all. I literally engage in a field that engages in the nuance if interpersonal relationships, and I am very good at what I do. People come to me for advice. And...you could use some.

Bottom line, grow up. Just grow up. An example of this is your presumptions- nothing was ever said in OP's post about the content. Nothing was ever said about MIL doing it repeatedly. There was this one occasion, maybe another where MIL noticed this DIL "cringes" when she references anything this DIL posted. So she came here to ask why. This is followed by an enormous amount of assumption about tone, purpose, boundaries, including MY OWN boundaries, which is hysterical. I believe the word "stalking" was even suggested.


A lot of mainstream use of social media, particularly FB, started when millennials were teens, and it would appear that the functionality, or any form of communication, just hasn't generalized into their adult world. In fact, engaging, interacting, and communicating is still hard for a lot of this group. This is why you all are now all on Snapchat.

If you don't believe me, consider the term "adulting." Consider the commercials- even industry has picked up on this and has used it to sell insurance. You are literally being parodied, and still don't get it. Another fun fact- the " baby voice." This is an actual phenomenon of the this generation, and probably Z, now, where the inflection, tone, delivery, and dialect sounds like a young teen. There's been a ton written on this. This is one one of a lot of literature, but ask any HR person, they will explain.
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2019/05/why-young-adults-are-talking-like-3-year-olds/586000/


I have to say, while this is overwhelmingly true, I work with a lot of people in all generational segments, and there are fully together millennials. They look like Pete Buttigieig or Yamiche Alcindor, as examples. Can you imagine them "cringing" over a FB question? In my own neighborhood, women of all generations, age 27 to 75, interact on FB for political and social reasons, these group aren't drawing boundary lines, and yes, everyone is on everyone's page. These are people who gave up generational expectations of themselves and others, fully entered the work force as an adult, and don't compare everyone to their mother. They haven't established invisible social boundaries.

This DIL is socially awkward at least, or just hasn't grown up, or she hates her ILs. There is no social media issue here. It's a personality thing.

Because you are who you are, you'll want the last word. I'm out though, so it's wasted on me.

Your advice is not good. OP said in the second sentence of her original post "I mentioned a few times" which is the definition of "repeatedly". You tell other people to grow up then hairflip your way out.

[Anonymous]

OP do you also comment every single time your DIL posts? I got a lot of flak for not friending my MIL but the situation you have described in your OP plus her commenting on every single thing even though it doesn't have any relation to her is why.

[Anonymous]

Clearly op is a stage 5 clinger and doesn't understand boundaries. To that poster above who says the dil is socailly awkward - honey look in the mirror. Your posts are crazy pants. Why are you on fire about dil's hating on mils. Tell us your story. I'd bet you are the daughter of a boundary abusing mother and you've seen this cause problems with a sibling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boomers have taken over Facebook which is part of the cringe. Facebook started when I was in college and I still post because many of my friends are still on but it’s definitely cringey when my boomer parents or in laws mention something from it….

Agree. My mother and older relatives ruined it for me. I hate that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boomers have taken over Facebook which is part of the cringe. Facebook started when I was in college and I still post because many of my friends are still on but it’s definitely cringey when my boomer parents or in laws mention something from it….

Agree. My mother and older relatives ruined it for me. I hate that.

+1

Now I only post updates for elderly family members on FB. I post to friends on Instagram.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you just ask her what’s new, how she is, and listen to what she’s willing to share with you. She likely accepted your Friend request to be polite, but doesn’t see you as a peer, and doesn’t love that you are not only reading her posts, but….keeping track of them.

Just ask how she is and see what she wants to share with you, personally. Revealing that you read her every post and remember them is a little much.

I do think it is odd that you seem to be using FB to moderate or curate your relationship with her.
Just talk like you did before social media. “What did you guys do for Halloween” “ I like your new curtains.” Etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people post pictures on Facebook? Do they not value privacy? Is their life so fantastic that they think others want to see the pics? Do they not own a photo album?

A photo album? LOL. So that it can be tossed when you die?

WTF? No one is saving your Facebook feed as an heirloom after you die.

Hint: nobody wants boatloads of digital or hard copy photos of you after you die. They will keep a few good ones and toss the rest. Sorry, we don’t need 3 albums of your trip to Paris. We’ll keep one and the albums get tossed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An in that context, it would feel pretty weird if someone I didn't know very well would greet me with something like "oh I saw you had a nice vacation in Florida [when I was there for a friend's bachelorette]" or "wow seems like you had a great time at that wedding [of people this person doesn't know at all]." Like I get there is nothing wrong with them having seen those posts and to remember them later, but it would feel jarring and strange to have it brought up months later as though it was a significant thing in my life. When in reality, the stuff I posted on Facebook was rarely the most important stuff going on with me -- it was just the stuff I happened to do with people who posted about it to Facebook. Like being a guest at a wedding or attending someone's baby shower is fun but generally not a major highlight of my year. So being asked about it later as though it was equal to getting engaged or having a baby felt very odd.


Let's understand that it's perfectly ok to talk to someone about an event or experience they had, even a year ago. Yes, it is, dear.

It's ok to reference a picture or event people posted about. There's no secret club, no "what is said on FB, stays on FB." You are all mature adults, yes adults, and your parents are adults. You are now in the adult world. Not high school.

All adults in your life are not equal. You have immediate family, extended family, DH’s family, HS/college friends, work friends, mom friends, neighbors, acquaintances, BFFs. There are different topics, societal norms, and boundaries around those different relationships. IRL you wouldn’t be sharing the same info with every adult. It’s hard to target info for appropriate groups on FB so people need to gauge what is relevant to them.

For example, when my neighbor posts about a funny college experience to reminisce with college friends it’d be a little weird for me to bring it up with them months later out of context. But if my neighbor posted something funny that happened at salon where we both get our hair done, it wouldn’t be weird at all.

Basically, OP needs to stay in her lane.

Then learn how to group your friend list. It's that simple. Both FB and IG have these resources. Secondarily, just about everything you post has the potential to be public. Ask ANY HR personnel. Ask me, I can find anything! Lastly, use your networks as a public newspaper, not your therapy journal. That's just common sense.

This is just ridiculous.

I do use groups in general. Acquaintances don’t see much. But I don’t get down to the granular level of picking who exactly can see each post. I don’t post anything that I wouldn’t mind being public. I actually very rarely post anything anywhere anymore, but I never used it as a “therapy journal”.

Anyway, it’s more nuanced than that. It’s understanding context and boundaries about you fit into other people’ lives.

Given how you’re making assumptions and generalizations about generations of people in this thread might be an indication that you also struggle with context and boundaries.

Not at all. I literally engage in a field that engages in the nuance if interpersonal relationships, and I am very good at what I do. People come to me for advice. And...you could use some.

Bottom line, grow up. Just grow up. An example of this is your presumptions- nothing was ever said in OP's post about the content. Nothing was ever said about MIL doing it repeatedly. There was this one occasion, maybe another where MIL noticed this DIL "cringes" when she references anything this DIL posted. So she came here to ask why. This is followed by an enormous amount of assumption about tone, purpose, boundaries, including MY OWN boundaries, which is hysterical. I believe the word "stalking" was even suggested.


A lot of mainstream use of social media, particularly FB, started when millennials were teens, and it would appear that the functionality, or any form of communication, just hasn't generalized into their adult world. In fact, engaging, interacting, and communicating is still hard for a lot of this group. This is why you all are now all on Snapchat.

If you don't believe me, consider the term "adulting." Consider the commercials- even industry has picked up on this and has used it to sell insurance. You are literally being parodied, and still don't get it. Another fun fact- the " baby voice." This is an actual phenomenon of the this generation, and probably Z, now, where the inflection, tone, delivery, and dialect sounds like a young teen. There's been a ton written on this. This is one one of a lot of literature, but ask any HR person, they will explain.
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2019/05/why-young-adults-are-talking-like-3-year-olds/586000/


I have to say, while this is overwhelmingly true, I work with a lot of people in all generational segments, and there are fully together millennials. They look like Pete Buttigieig or Yamiche Alcindor, as examples. Can you imagine them "cringing" over a FB question? In my own neighborhood, women of all generations, age 27 to 75, interact on FB for political and social reasons, these group aren't drawing boundary lines, and yes, everyone is on everyone's page. These are people who gave up generational expectations of themselves and others, fully entered the work force as an adult, and don't compare everyone to their mother. They haven't established invisible social boundaries.

This DIL is socially awkward at least, or just hasn't grown up, or she hates her ILs. There is no social media issue here. It's a personality thing.

Because you are who you are, you'll want the last word. I'm out though, so it's wasted on me.

NP. OMG, the length alone of this post is psycho, but the “train of thought” is all over the place. I am honestly asking: were you drunk, high or both when you wrote this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you just ask her what’s new, how she is, and listen to what she’s willing to share with you. She likely accepted your Friend request to be polite, but doesn’t see you as a peer, and doesn’t love that you are not only reading her posts, but….keeping track of them.

Just ask how she is and see what she wants to share with you, personally. Revealing that you read her every post and remember them is a little much.

I do think it is odd that you seem to be using FB to moderate or curate your relationship with her.
Just talk like you did before social media. “What did you guys do for Halloween” “ I like your new curtains.” Etc

But what if you knew what she did for Halloween , etc., because that was what was on FB? All that is off limits? Good lord, I agree with all the other posters on Mom 's side. Get a grip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you just ask her what’s new, how she is, and listen to what she’s willing to share with you. She likely accepted your Friend request to be polite, but doesn’t see you as a peer, and doesn’t love that you are not only reading her posts, but….keeping track of them.

Just ask how she is and see what she wants to share with you, personally. Revealing that you read her every post and remember them is a little much.

I do think it is odd that you seem to be using FB to moderate or curate your relationship with her.
Just talk like you did before social media. “What did you guys do for Halloween” “ I like your new curtains.” Etc

But what if you knew what she did for Halloween , etc., because that was what was on FB? All that is off limits? Good lord, I agree with all the other posters on Mom 's side. Get a grip.

You agree that one should press a point over and over again even if the person you are allegedly trying to have a conversation with visibly cringes every time you bring up a certain topic? Are you unable to read social cues? Do you have some type of disorder, or are your intentions just to make someone uncomfortable? Because if I ever seem to hit a sore spot in a conversation, I move the conversation in another direction; I don’t use the same tactic over and over again if it appears to be unsettling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you just ask her what’s new, how she is, and listen to what she’s willing to share with you. She likely accepted your Friend request to be polite, but doesn’t see you as a peer, and doesn’t love that you are not only reading her posts, but….keeping track of them.

Just ask how she is and see what she wants to share with you, personally. Revealing that you read her every post and remember them is a little much.

I do think it is odd that you seem to be using FB to moderate or curate your relationship with her.
Just talk like you did before social media. “What did you guys do for Halloween” “ I like your new curtains.” Etc

But what if you knew what she did for Halloween , etc., because that was what was on FB? All that is off limits? Good lord, I agree with all the other posters on Mom 's side. Get a grip.

You agree that one should press a point over and over again even if the person you are allegedly trying to have a conversation with visibly cringes every time you bring up a certain topic? Are you unable to read social cues? Do you have some type of disorder, or are your intentions just to make someone uncomfortable? Because if I ever seem to hit a sore spot in a conversation, I move the conversation in another direction; I don’t use the same tactic over and over again if it appears to be unsettling.

Ok, crazy one- that's not what OP said. She said : . I mentioned a few times that it looked like she had a nice get-together with friends recently, or that it looks like she enjoys hiking, or a few other things from her Facebook posts.

That goes like this:
Oh, looks like you had a great hiking trip!

Jessica, your friend, is looking good. What's new with her?

My friend also went to that antique store,( movie, restaurant, corn maze, )

It's called topics to talk about. WTF. I have a had a conversation pretty much every day this week regarding something in social media, mine or theirs, and I haven't bristled at one comment, because- why would I? My new dog, my trip to the Van Gogh Experience, a restaurant, and a family event. I have zero problem with anyone, my MIL, SIL, my neighbor, or anyone asking me about anything. I am not 14. Just stop enabling dumb behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you just ask her what’s new, how she is, and listen to what she’s willing to share with you. She likely accepted your Friend request to be polite, but doesn’t see you as a peer, and doesn’t love that you are not only reading her posts, but….keeping track of them.

Just ask how she is and see what she wants to share with you, personally. Revealing that you read her every post and remember them is a little much.

I do think it is odd that you seem to be using FB to moderate or curate your relationship with her.
Just talk like you did before social media. “What did you guys do for Halloween” “ I like your new curtains.” Etc

But what if you knew what she did for Halloween , etc., because that was what was on FB? All that is off limits? Good lord, I agree with all the other posters on Mom 's side. Get a grip.

You agree that one should press a point over and over again even if the person you are allegedly trying to have a conversation with visibly cringes every time you bring up a certain topic? Are you unable to read social cues? Do you have some type of disorder, or are your intentions just to make someone uncomfortable? Because if I ever seem to hit a sore spot in a conversation, I move the conversation in another direction; I don’t use the same tactic over and over again if it appears to be unsettling.

+1

If OP noticed it bothered her then why continue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you just ask her what’s new, how she is, and listen to what she’s willing to share with you. She likely accepted your Friend request to be polite, but doesn’t see you as a peer, and doesn’t love that you are not only reading her posts, but….keeping track of them.

Just ask how she is and see what she wants to share with you, personally. Revealing that you read her every post and remember them is a little much.

I do think it is odd that you seem to be using FB to moderate or curate your relationship with her.
Just talk like you did before social media. “What did you guys do for Halloween” “ I like your new curtains.” Etc

But what if you knew what she did for Halloween , etc., because that was what was on FB? All that is off limits? Good lord, I agree with all the other posters on Mom 's side. Get a grip.

You agree that one should press a point over and over again even if the person you are allegedly trying to have a conversation with visibly cringes every time you bring up a certain topic? Are you unable to read social cues? Do you have some type of disorder, or are your intentions just to make someone uncomfortable? Because if I ever seem to hit a sore spot in a conversation, I move the conversation in another direction; I don’t use the same tactic over and over again if it appears to be unsettling.

Ok, crazy one- that's not what OP said. She said : . I mentioned a few times that it looked like she had a nice get-together with friends recently, or that it looks like she enjoys hiking, or a few other things from her Facebook posts.

That goes like this:
Oh, looks like you had a great hiking trip!

Jessica, your friend, is looking good. What's new with her?

My friend also went to that antique store,( movie, restaurant, corn maze, )

It's called topics to talk about. WTF. I have a had a conversation pretty much every day this week regarding something in social media, mine or theirs, and I haven't bristled at one comment, because- why would I? My new dog, my trip to the Van Gogh Experience, a restaurant, and a family event. I have zero problem with anyone, my MIL, SIL, my neighbor, or anyone asking me about anything. I am not 14. Just stop enabling dumb behavior.

No, it’s not called “topics to talk about.” The topic each time that this particular OP brought up several times—enough for her, herself, to actually notice that this was what was making her DIL uncomfortable, and post about it—was “things I notice on your Facebook feed.”

Do you get it, that even OP herself put together that this dynamic was making DIL uncomfortable, and instead of changing tactics and saying something like, “have you read any good books lately,” or “can I tell you about the Van Gogh Experience I went to,” she kept hitting the same note related to social media, and expected a different reaction?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you just ask her what’s new, how she is, and listen to what she’s willing to share with you. She likely accepted your Friend request to be polite, but doesn’t see you as a peer, and doesn’t love that you are not only reading her posts, but….keeping track of them.

Just ask how she is and see what she wants to share with you, personally. Revealing that you read her every post and remember them is a little much.

I do think it is odd that you seem to be using FB to moderate or curate your relationship with her.
Just talk like you did before social media. “What did you guys do for Halloween” “ I like your new curtains.” Etc

But what if you knew what she did for Halloween , etc., because that was what was on FB? All that is off limits? Good lord, I agree with all the other posters on Mom 's side. Get a grip.

You agree that one should press a point over and over again even if the person you are allegedly trying to have a conversation with visibly cringes every time you bring up a certain topic? Are you unable to read social cues? Do you have some type of disorder, or are your intentions just to make someone uncomfortable? Because if I ever seem to hit a sore spot in a conversation, I move the conversation in another direction; I don’t use the same tactic over and over again if it appears to be unsettling.

Ok, crazy one- that's not what OP said. She said : . I mentioned a few times that it looked like she had a nice get-together with friends recently, or that it looks like she enjoys hiking, or a few other things from her Facebook posts.

That goes like this:
Oh, looks like you had a great hiking trip!

Jessica, your friend, is looking good. What's new with her?

My friend also went to that antique store,( movie, restaurant, corn maze, )

It's called topics to talk about. WTF. I have a had a conversation pretty much every day this week regarding something in social media, mine or theirs, and I haven't bristled at one comment, because- why would I? My new dog, my trip to the Van Gogh Experience, a restaurant, and a family event. I have zero problem with anyone, my MIL, SIL, my neighbor, or anyone asking me about anything. I am not 14. Just stop enabling dumb behavior.

No, it’s not called “topics to talk about.” The topic each time that this particular OP brought up several times—enough for her, herself, to actually notice that this was what was making her DIL uncomfortable, and post about it—was “things I notice on your Facebook feed.”

Do you get it, that even OP herself put together that this dynamic was making DIL uncomfortable, and instead of changing tactics and saying something like, “have you read any good books lately,” or “can I tell you about the Van Gogh Experience I went to,” she kept hitting the same note related to social media, and expected a different reaction?

You, like DIL, might just be super young, or socially awkward,
and/ or introverted-and I'm quite sure this is having an impact in your life, whether you are aware (probably not!) or not. Regardless, MIL is just fine-and kudos to her for making that effort, being active on sm, talking about relevant things. It's plus +, she can talk to me anytime. Yeah, it really is Ok. And there really is no need to keep coming back with the same argument, and it looks like you've been active for awhile here, after doing a quick check. This is very 14 years old of you, but, maybe
you are 14! Who knows? Social media isn't a little secret world. Enough already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you just ask her what’s new, how she is, and listen to what she’s willing to share with you. She likely accepted your Friend request to be polite, but doesn’t see you as a peer, and doesn’t love that you are not only reading her posts, but….keeping track of them.

Just ask how she is and see what she wants to share with you, personally. Revealing that you read her every post and remember them is a little much.

I do think it is odd that you seem to be using FB to moderate or curate your relationship with her.
Just talk like you did before social media. “What did you guys do for Halloween” “ I like your new curtains.” Etc

But what if you knew what she did for Halloween , etc., because that was what was on FB? All that is off limits? Good lord, I agree with all the other posters on Mom 's side. Get a grip.

You agree that one should press a point over and over again even if the person you are allegedly trying to have a conversation with visibly cringes every time you bring up a certain topic? Are you unable to read social cues? Do you have some type of disorder, or are your intentions just to make someone uncomfortable? Because if I ever seem to hit a sore spot in a conversation, I move the conversation in another direction; I don’t use the same tactic over and over again if it appears to be unsettling.

Ok, crazy one- that's not what OP said. She said : . I mentioned a few times that it looked like she had a nice get-together with friends recently, or that it looks like she enjoys hiking, or a few other things from her Facebook posts.

That goes like this:
Oh, looks like you had a great hiking trip!

Jessica, your friend, is looking good. What's new with her?

My friend also went to that antique store,( movie, restaurant, corn maze, )

It's called topics to talk about. WTF. I have a had a conversation pretty much every day this week regarding something in social media, mine or theirs, and I haven't bristled at one comment, because- why would I? My new dog, my trip to the Van Gogh Experience, a restaurant, and a family event. I have zero problem with anyone, my MIL, SIL, my neighbor, or anyone asking me about anything. I am not 14. Just stop enabling dumb behavior.

No, it’s not called “topics to talk about.” The topic each time that this particular OP brought up several times—enough for her, herself, to actually notice that this was what was making her DIL uncomfortable, and post about it—was “things I notice on your Facebook feed.”

Do you get it, that even OP herself put together that this dynamic was making DIL uncomfortable, and instead of changing tactics and saying something like, “have you read any good books lately,” or “can I tell you about the Van Gogh Experience I went to,” she kept hitting the same note related to social media, and expected a different reaction?

You, like DIL, might just be super young, or socially awkward,
and/ or introverted-and I'm quite sure this is having an impact in your life, whether you are aware (probably not!) or not. Regardless, MIL is just fine-and kudos to her for making that effort, being active on sm, talking about relevant things. It's plus +, she can talk to me anytime. Yeah, it really is Ok. And there really is no need to keep coming back with the same argument, and it looks like you've been active for awhile here, after doing a quick check. This is very 14 years old of you, but, maybe
you are 14! Who knows? Social media isn't a little secret world. Enough already.

Actually? It’s not OK. Would I be wrong for trying to engage my ADHD niece in conversation? No. Would I be wrong for pressing her over and over when she’s giving out signals that she doesn’t want to engage? Yes.

Would I be wrong to offer condolences to a colleague who just lost a spouse? No. Would I be wrong to continue on that subject, asking questions or offering platitudes, when it is clear that they would rather move on? Yes. I would be wrong.

There’s a lot of ways to not be “wrong” but still have an awareness, still be able to read the room, and move on if someone seems uncomfortable. The fact that you don’t seem to grasp that shows how very immature you are (no matter your age), and how you fail to grasp the basics of social cues. I’m willing to bet you embarrass yourself without realizing it quite often.