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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]An in that context, it would feel pretty weird if someone I didn't know very well would greet me with something like "oh I saw you had a nice vacation in Florida [when I was there for a friend's bachelorette]" or "wow seems like you had a great time at that wedding [of people this person doesn't know at all]." Like I get there is nothing wrong with them having seen those posts and to remember them later, but it would feel jarring and strange to have it brought up months later as though it was a significant thing in my life. When in reality, the stuff I posted on Facebook was rarely the most important stuff going on with me -- it was just the stuff I happened to do with people who posted about it to Facebook. Like being a guest at a wedding or attending someone's baby shower is fun but generally not a major highlight of my year. So being asked about it later as though it was equal to getting engaged or having a baby felt very odd.[/b]

Let's understand that it's perfectly ok to talk to someone about an event or experience  they had,  even a year ago. Yes, it is, dear.

It's ok to reference a picture or event people posted about. There's no secret club, no "what is said on FB, stays  on FB."  You are all mature adults,  yes adults,  and your parents are adults.  [b]You are  now in the adult world. [/b]Not high school. [/quote]

All adults in your life are not equal. You have immediate family, extended family, DH’s family, HS/college friends, work friends, mom friends, neighbors, acquaintances, BFFs. There are different topics, societal norms, and boundaries around those different relationships. IRL you wouldn’t be sharing the same info with every adult. It’s hard to target info for appropriate groups on FB so people need to gauge what is relevant to them.

For example, when my neighbor posts about a funny college experience to reminisce with college friends it’d be a little weird for me to bring it up with them months later out of context. But if my neighbor posted something funny that happened at salon where we both get our hair done, it wouldn’t be weird at all.

Basically, OP needs to stay in her lane. 
[/quote]

Then learn how to group your friend list. It's that simple. Both FB and IG have these resources. Secondarily, just about everything you post has the potential to be public. Ask ANY HR personnel. Ask me, I can find anything! Lastly,  use your networks as a public newspaper,  not  your therapy  journal. That's just common sense.

This is just ridiculous.[/quote]

I do use groups in general. Acquaintances don’t see much. But I don’t get down to the granular level of picking who exactly can see each post. I don’t post anything that I wouldn’t mind being public. I actually very rarely post anything anywhere anymore, but I never used it as a “therapy journal”.

Anyway, it’s more nuanced than that. It’s understanding context and boundaries about you fit into other people’ lives.

Given how you’re making assumptions and generalizations about generations of people in this thread might be an indication that you also struggle with context and boundaries. 
[/quote]

Not at all. I literally engage in a field that engages in the nuance if interpersonal relationships, and I am very good at what I do.  People come to me for advice. And...you could use some.

Bottom line, grow up. Just grow up. An example of this is  your presumptions- nothing was ever said  in OP's post about the content. Nothing was ever said about MIL doing it repeatedly. There was this one occasion,  maybe another where MIL noticed this DIL "cringes" when she references anything this  DIL posted. So she  came here to  ask why. This is followed by an enormous amount of assumption about tone, purpose,  boundaries,  including MY OWN boundaries, which is hysterical. I believe the word "stalking" was even suggested.

A lot  of mainstream use of social media, particularly  FB, started when  millennials were teens, and it would appear that the functionality, or any form of communication,  just hasn't generalized into their adult world. In fact, engaging, interacting, and communicating is  still hard for a lot of this group. This is why you all are now all on Snapchat.

If you don't believe me, consider the term "adulting."  Consider the commercials- even industry has picked up on this  and has used it to sell insurance. You are literally being parodied, and still don't  get it. Another fun fact- the " baby voice." This is an actual  phenomenon  of the this generation,  and probably  Z, now, where  the inflection, tone, delivery, and  dialect sounds like  a young teen. There's been a ton written on this. This is one one of a lot of literature, but ask any  HR person, they will explain.
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2019/05/why-young-adults-are-talking-like-3-year-olds/586000/

I have to say, while this is overwhelmingly true, I work with a lot of people in all generational segments, and there are fully together millennials. They look like Pete Buttigieig or Yamiche Alcindor, as examples. Can you imagine them "cringing" over a FB question? In my own  neighborhood, women of all generations,  age 27 to 75,  interact on FB for political  and social reasons, these group aren't drawing boundary lines, and yes, everyone is on everyone's page. These are people who gave up generational expectations of themselves and others, fully entered the work force as an adult,  and don't compare everyone to their mother. They haven't established invisible  social boundaries.

This DIL is socially awkward at least,  or just hasn't grown up, or she hates her ILs. There is no social media issue here. It's a personality thing.

Because you are who you are, you'll want the last word. I'm out though, so it's wasted on me. 
[/quote]
Your advice is not good.  OP said in the second sentence of her original post "I mentioned a few times" which is the definition of "repeatedly". You tell other people to grow up then hairflip your way out. [/quote]

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