Reply to My DIL visibly cringes when I mention I saw her Facebook feed

Forum Index » Adult Children

Reply to "My DIL visibly cringes when I mention I saw her Facebook feed"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why don’t you just ask her what’s new, how she is, and listen to what she’s willing to share with you. She likely accepted your Friend request to be polite, but doesn’t see you as a peer, and doesn’t love that you are not only reading her posts, but….keeping track of them.

Just ask how she is and see what she wants to share with you, personally. Revealing that you read her every post and remember them is a little much.[/quote]

I do think it is odd that you seem to be using FB to moderate or curate your relationship with her.
 Just talk like you did before social media. “What did you guys do for Halloween” “ I like your new curtains.” Etc[/quote]

But what if you knew what she did for Halloween , etc., because that was what was on FB? All that is off limits? Good lord, I agree  with all the other posters on Mom 's side.  Get a grip. [/quote]

You agree that one should press a point over and over again even if the person you are allegedly trying to have a conversation with visibly cringes every time you bring up a certain topic? Are you unable to read social cues? Do you have some type of disorder, or are your intentions just to make someone uncomfortable? Because if I ever seem to hit a sore spot in a conversation, I move the conversation in another direction; I don’t use the same tactic over and over again if it appears to be unsettling.[/quote]

Ok, crazy one- that's not what OP said. She said : . [b]I mentioned a [u]few[/u] times that it looked like she had a nice get-together with friends recently, or that it looks like she enjoys hiking, or a few other things from her Facebook posts.[/b]

That  goes like this:
 Oh, looks like you had a great hiking trip!

Jessica, your friend,  is looking good. What's new with her?

My friend also went to that antique store,( movie, restaurant, corn maze, )

It's called topics to talk about. WTF. I have a had a conversation pretty much every day this week regarding something in social media, mine or theirs,  and I haven't bristled at one comment, because-  why would I? My new dog, my trip to the Van Gogh Experience, a restaurant, and a family event. I have zero problem with anyone,  my MIL, SIL, my neighbor,  or anyone asking me about anything.  I am not 14. Just stop enabling dumb behavior. [/quote]

No, it’s not called “topics to talk about.” The topic each time that this particular OP brought up several times—enough for her, herself, to actually notice that this was what was making her DIL uncomfortable, and post about it—was “things I notice on your Facebook feed.”

Do you get it, that even OP herself put together that this dynamic was making DIL uncomfortable, and instead of changing tactics and saying something like, “have you read any good books lately,” or “can I tell you about the Van Gogh Experience I went to,” she kept hitting the same note related to social media, and expected a different reaction? [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics