My DIL visibly cringes when I mention I saw her Facebook feed

[Anonymous]

I find it bizarre that people post things about their life and then "cringe" when their followers mention those things.

Why are you posting if you don't want people to know what you're up to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it bizarre that people post things about their life and then "cringe" when their followers mention those things.

Why are you posting if you don't want people to know what you're up to?

I promise, if OP did it once, DIL would’ve been fine. It’s definitely a repeated pattern with OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She doesn’t like that you follow her but doesn’t have the balls [bto block you.

Stop already with "the balls!" Women do not have balls nor can get balls! Women are courageous without them!!! Not talking to trans men

[Anonymous]

This is my read too, that you are mentioning DIL's FB feed more than certain and often.

And perhaps your comments may be getting construed asthat you are tracking her FB feed? And or critical of how she uses time, money, and/or her choice of friends?

That can open a whole other can of worms. I would take the cue to stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you just ask her what’s new, how she is, and listen to what she’s willing to share with you. She likely accepted your Friend request to be polite, but doesn’t see you as a peer, and doesn’t love that you are not only reading her posts, but….keeping track of them.

Just ask how she is and see what she wants to share with you, personally. Revealing that you read her every post and remember them is a little much.

+1
You said you did it a “few times”. Why keep asking if she visibly cringes?

Can you answer this question, OP? It’s very basic manners to not continue behaving in a way you know makes someone uncomfortable. Other posters have explained the reasons why your DIL dislikes this particular line of questioning.

OP here. Because there’s nothing wrong with asking about something she’s put out there publicly! Perhaps if she doesn’t want it to be a topic of conversation, she should not put it online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you just ask her what’s new, how she is, and listen to what she’s willing to share with you. She likely accepted your Friend request to be polite, but doesn’t see you as a peer, and doesn’t love that you are not only reading her posts, but….keeping track of them.

Just ask how she is and see what she wants to share with you, personally. Revealing that you read her every post and remember them is a little much.

+1
You said you did it a “few times”. Why keep asking if she visibly cringes?

Can you answer this question, OP? It’s very basic manners to not continue behaving in a way you know makes someone uncomfortable. Other posters have explained the reasons why your DIL dislikes this particular line of questioning.

OP here. Because there’s nothing wrong with asking about something she’s put out there publicly! Perhaps if she doesn’t want it to be a topic of conversation, she should not put it online.

I was on your side because I think Facebook is lane and people who post all their outings on it attention-seekers. But this comment is idiotic.

If she is visibly uncomfortable when you bring this stuff up and you keep doing it because you feel entitled to the information since she “put it online” you are in the wrong.

It reminds me of a time when two of my family members lived across the street from each other and were always commenting to me about each other’s goings on and getting resentful or jealous over basic stuff like one family having friends over for dinner. They were personalizing each other’s activities simply because it was visible to them. They needed to learn to just not see it. To just give each other space, mentally, even though they were physically close. This is what you need to do with your DIL’s Facebook feed. Stop looking at it so much. She obviously doesn’t want to discuss it with you and is not posting these things for your benefit.

If you don’t let up, she will eventually just restrict you on FB so you don’t see this stuff. Would that be preferable to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She doesn’t like that you follow her but doesn’t have the balls [bto block you.

Stop already with "the balls!" Women do not have balls nor can get balls! Women are courageous without them!!! Not talking to trans men

NP. Lol what? It’s an expression, unclench.

[Anonymous]

Then stop mentioning it! And better yet, stop following her.

[Anonymous]

OP you did nothing wrong.

Public social media.

Your DIL is an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you just ask her what’s new, how she is, and listen to what she’s willing to share with you. She likely accepted your Friend request to be polite, but doesn’t see you as a peer, and doesn’t love that you are not only reading her posts, but….keeping track of them.

Just ask how she is and see what she wants to share with you, personally. Revealing that you read her every post and remember them is a little much.

+1
You said you did it a “few times”. Why keep asking if she visibly cringes?

Can you answer this question, OP? It’s very basic manners to not continue behaving in a way you know makes someone uncomfortable. Other posters have explained the reasons why your DIL dislikes this particular line of questioning.

OP here. Because there’s nothing wrong with asking about something she’s put out there publicly! Perhaps if she doesn’t want it to be a topic of conversation, she should not put it online.

Sharing doesn’t mean you want to feel under surveillance or like everything you out on FB is open for conversation. The last bit makes her feel smothered. Several of us have told you this, but you don’t seem receptive. It can be a bit odd negotiating social media, but please listen to what many of us are telling you. At some point she will start blocking you from seeing her posts, and that will feel worse to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you just ask her what’s new, how she is, and listen to what she’s willing to share with you. She likely accepted your Friend request to be polite, but doesn’t see you as a peer, and doesn’t love that you are not only reading her posts, but….keeping track of them.

Just ask how she is and see what she wants to share with you, personally. Revealing that you read her every post and remember them is a little much.

+1
You said you did it a “few times”. Why keep asking if she visibly cringes?

Can you answer this question, OP? It’s very basic manners to not continue behaving in a way you know makes someone uncomfortable. Other posters have explained the reasons why your DIL dislikes this particular line of questioning.

OP here. Because there’s nothing wrong with asking about something she’s put out there publicly! Perhaps if she doesn’t want it to be a topic of conversation, she should not put it online.

And it sounds like you're trying to prove in your interactions with her in a way that makes her uncomfortable. Stop being passive aggressive.

[Anonymous]

Why do people post pictures on Facebook? Do they not value privacy? Is their life so fantastic that they think others want to see the pics? Do they not own a photo album?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you just ask her what’s new, how she is, and listen to what she’s willing to share with you. She likely accepted your Friend request to be polite, but doesn’t see you as a peer, and doesn’t love that you are not only reading her posts, but….keeping track of them.

Just ask how she is and see what she wants to share with you, personally. Revealing that you read her every post and remember them is a little much.

+1
You said you did it a “few times”. Why keep asking if she visibly cringes?

Can you answer this question, OP? It’s very basic manners to not continue behaving in a way you know makes someone uncomfortable. Other posters have explained the reasons why your DIL dislikes this particular line of questioning.

OP here. Because there’s nothing wrong with asking about something she’s put out there publicly! Perhaps if she doesn’t want it to be a topic of conversation, she should not put it online.

NP - OP, I was with you until this follow-up post. Your response says it all to me and I can now completely understand why your DIL cringes. You seem out to prove a point, intrusive, and I suspect this extends well beyond the Facebook situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She doesn’t like that you follow her but doesn’t have the balls to block you.

This. She isn't "embarrassed" to be posting on FB, as there is nothing to be embarrassed about. Trying to start awkwardly start conversations in person about someone's feed, though....

+1

It’s creepy. OP sounds like a stalker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you just ask her what’s new, how she is, and listen to what she’s willing to share with you. She likely accepted your Friend request to be polite, but doesn’t see you as a peer, and doesn’t love that you are not only reading her posts, but….keeping track of them.

Just ask how she is and see what she wants to share with you, personally. Revealing that you read her every post and remember them is a little much.

+1
You said you did it a “few times”. Why keep asking if she visibly cringes?

Can you answer this question, OP? It’s very basic manners to not continue behaving in a way you know makes someone uncomfortable. Other posters have explained the reasons why your DIL dislikes this particular line of questioning.

OP here. Because there’s nothing wrong with asking about something she’s put out there publicly! Perhaps if she doesn’t want it to be a topic of conversation, she should not put it online.

Sharing doesn’t mean you want to feel under surveillance or like everything you out on FB is open for conversation. The last bit makes her feel smothered. Several of us have told you this, but you don’t seem receptive. It can be a bit odd negotiating social media, but please listen to what many of us are telling you. At some point she will start blocking you from seeing her posts, and that will feel worse to you.

+1

The DIL wants boundaries. If you can’t figure that out then she will ultimately have to block you.

Stop stalking.