My DIL visibly cringes when I mention I saw her Facebook feed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you just ask her what’s new, how she is, and listen to what she’s willing to share with you. She likely accepted your Friend request to be polite, but doesn’t see you as a peer, and doesn’t love that you are not only reading her posts, but….keeping track of them.

Just ask how she is and see what she wants to share with you, personally. Revealing that you read her every post and remember them is a little much.

+1
You said you did it a “few times”. Why keep asking if she visibly cringes?

Can you answer this question, OP? It’s very basic manners to not continue behaving in a way you know makes someone uncomfortable. Other posters have explained the reasons why your DIL dislikes this particular line of questioning.

OP here. Because there’s nothing wrong with asking about something she’s put out there publicly! Perhaps if she doesn’t want it to be a topic of conversation, she should not put it online.

You are clearly just being a jerk. She will likely block you soon and it won’t be an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you just ask her what’s new, how she is, and listen to what she’s willing to share with you. She likely accepted your Friend request to be polite, but doesn’t see you as a peer, and doesn’t love that you are not only reading her posts, but….keeping track of them.

Just ask how she is and see what she wants to share with you, personally. Revealing that you read her every post and remember them is a little much.

+1
You said you did it a “few times”. Why keep asking if she visibly cringes?

Can you answer this question, OP? It’s very basic manners to not continue behaving in a way you know makes someone uncomfortable. Other posters have explained the reasons why your DIL dislikes this particular line of questioning.

OP here. Because there’s nothing wrong with asking about something she’s put out there publicly! Perhaps if she doesn’t want it to be a topic of conversation, she should not put it online.

If you genuinely think you did nothing wrong, why did you create a post here to ask if you did something wrong?

[Anonymous]

MIL's sister friended me and now takes screenshots of everything I post to show to MIL and grand-MIL. It's really annoying, and I don't want her to friend me at the first place.

[Anonymous]

Girl, why did you keep pushing this line of questioning after the first cringe??! I don’t know why she was cringing but it should be common sense to stop a particular line of conversation if it’s making the person you are talking to uncomfortable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Girl, why did you keep pushing this line of questioning after the first cringe??! I don’t know why she was cringing but it should be common sense to stop a particular line of conversation if it’s making the person you are talking to uncomfortable

+1

And then starting a thread about it? Is the OP really that dense?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you just ask her what’s new, how she is, and listen to what she’s willing to share with you. She likely accepted your Friend request to be polite, but doesn’t see you as a peer, and doesn’t love that you are not only reading her posts, but….keeping track of them.

Just ask how she is and see what she wants to share with you, personally. Revealing that you read her every post and remember them is a little much.

+1
You said you did it a “few times”. Why keep asking if she visibly cringes?

Can you answer this question, OP? It’s very basic manners to not continue behaving in a way you know makes someone uncomfortable. Other posters have explained the reasons why your DIL dislikes this particular line of questioning.

OP here. Because there’s nothing wrong with asking about something she’s put out there publicly! Perhaps if she doesn’t want it to be a topic of conversation, she should not put it online.

If you genuinely think you did nothing wrong, why did you create a post here to ask if you did something wrong?

OP, why don't you just comment and interact on Facebook, rather than saving all these topics of conversation for later? It's just odd at this point.

[Anonymous]

And MILs wonder how they get their reputations…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you just ask her what’s new, how she is, and listen to what she’s willing to share with you. She likely accepted your Friend request to be polite, but doesn’t see you as a peer, and doesn’t love that you are not only reading her posts, but….keeping track of them.

Just ask how she is and see what she wants to share with you, personally. Revealing that you read her every post and remember them is a little much.

+1
You said you did it a “few times”. Why keep asking if she visibly cringes?

Can you answer this question, OP? It’s very basic manners to not continue behaving in a way you know makes someone uncomfortable. Other posters have explained the reasons why your DIL dislikes this particular line of questioning.

OP here. Because there’s nothing wrong with asking about something she’s put out there publicly! Perhaps if she doesn’t want it to be a topic of conversation, she should not put it online.

If you genuinely think you did nothing wrong, why did you create a post here to ask if you did something wrong?

OP, why don't you just comment and interact on Facebook, rather than saving all these topics of conversation for later? It's just odd at this point.

This - this is the intent of posting on FB. To interact in the moment. It's weird to bring up a post from a few days ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an outlier here. I think if you put stuff up on Facebook, it’s not weird for somebody to comment on it. You put your life out there on social media to show off, share or what have you then it’s fair game for somebody to mention it.

In OP’s case just now know not to mention it again. Your DIL wants/doesn’t want the attention and that’s very immature. If your daughter-in-law does not want you seeing her posts without blocking you, she can always put you on the list were you don’t see her posts, but you remain friends.

It's not weird AT THE TIME. It's weird to bring it up later and go down list of things someone did three months ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an outlier here. I think if you put stuff up on Facebook, it’s not weird for somebody to comment on it. You put your life out there on social media to show off, share or what have you then it’s fair game for somebody to mention it.

In OP’s case just now know not to mention it again. Your DIL wants/doesn’t want the attention and that’s very immature. If your daughter-in-law does not want you seeing her posts without blocking you, she can always put you on the list were you don’t see her posts, but you remain friends.

I don't think it's weird either. My neighbor posted a ton of photos of her bathroom reno. The results looked fantastic. I told her so when I saw her.

Another neighbor went to Hawaii and posted vacation pics. I asked for travel recs for an upcoming trip.

Was I supposed to pretend to not see their FB posts?

[Anonymous]

And this is why I refuse to accept any friend requests from my MIL and her generation. Sorry, social media is for me and my friends and not to deal with any IL drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You didn’t do anything wrong. It is public. But I’d be embarrassed if I were posting daily activities on Facebook, so maybe she’s just embarrassed about her social media use.

Why is that embarrassing? It isn't!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And this is why I refuse to accept any friend requests from my MIL and her generation. Sorry, social media is for me and my friends and not to deal with any IL drama.

Are you in middle school, dear? Aw, no adults on your secret feed? How amazingly immature. Now this is cringewirthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And MILs wonder how they get their reputations…

Explain what kind of reputation? A reputation of mentioning how cute that outfit was, or yes, she also liked that restaurant, or ot looks like the kids enjoyed their party, trip, etc.? THAT kind of MIL? How AWFUL. Are you serious?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And this is why I refuse to accept any friend requests from my MIL and her generation. Sorry, social media is for me and my friends and not to deal with any IL drama.

What drama?