Anonymous wrote:We have moved several times and I am admittedly a weird introvert. But my kid is finally school aged and I have time during the day. What did you do that yielded some friendships? I’ve already done:

Gardening volunteer work

Moms exercise class

Volunteering for PTA events

Volunteering for class parties

Chatted with people at kid’s sport practice


Part of the issue seems like at school and sport events, everyone already knows each other. Really, lots of the people here grew up in this town and they attended the schools their kids are in now!

And then when I go to outside events like exercise class or volunteering, people don’t seem interested in making friends or they are way out of my life stage. I pushed myself to socialize at the gardening events and some of the older people were straight up gruff with me (younger and a newcomer as well as a minority).

What else would you suggest for a weird, shy, new person like me?

Hi, I have moved four times since having kids. You would probably. consider me to be weird because I actually enjoy the process of meeting other parents and finding friends in a new place. I am also a minority, and two of my moves were abroad, so I know what you mean about the difficulty of breaking in.

First, take every opportunity to meet people. Accept offers for coffee, meetups with other new people. I often had friends from other places tell me, “oh, my friend so and so lives in your new city, let me connect you”, and I would always meet up. Sometimes it was one and done, and other times it led to new friendships.

Second, I found that one of the best ways to make connections is by asking for advice or small favors. There is a seemingly illogical cognitive bias called “the Ben Franklin effect” where people that you have requested a favor from are more likely to think positively about you. Asking someone for advice about pediatric dentists, piano lessons, or school uniforms can often turn into a conversation and then an exchange of phone numbers. I met one of my closest friends 15 years ago when I asked her where she had gotten her kid’s swimsuit at our kids’ group swim class.

Third, leverage your kids. Ask the teacher who your kid plays with and arrange a play date. Find out who the class parent is - it’s usually a very outgoing parent who really wants everyone to be friends - and suggest a park play date for the class.

Good luck! You are interested in meeting other parents and are willing to make an effort, which is the biggest hurdle.

If it fits her personality and taste, I like the Tiffany suggestions - classic, has the “wow” blue box moment, etc.

Anonymous wrote:We have a Ford Flex we have really liked under extended warranty.

On a 20 minute trip where I dropped off my kid, I turned the car off because it looked like it was going to be a wait. It would not turned back on. Completely dead. We called and the dealership told us to have it towed in.

They call back and say the battery is bad for sure and will run diagnostics on the rest.

They call back and say there is also a bad cable, and to replace it all it is almost $900! $600 is labor of 2.5 hours.

Car dealers? You SUCK!

How old is the car? We had battery issues in a 2 year old Acura mdx and the mechanic told us it was because the fob was too close to the car and was constantly draining the battery. It was parked in a city garage most of the time. Just mentioning in case it helps anyone.

Anonymous wrote:I hate to break it to you, but every club pays the credit card processing fees, and every club charges you those fees. Some are up front about it (and show you the fees as an additional charge) and others build the fees into payments so you don't see it as extra

Yes, that is why I said I was surprised to see ach fees. I’ve been paying private school tuition and club sports fees for more than a decade and have never been charged an ach fee. Until this one third party management app.

Anonymous wrote:Do you mean like...Baltimore?

My kid went to college in a small town that had a prison. It was not by campus and had absolutely zero impact on the kids or their activities.

You have seen too many Netflix series or something.

I think by “prison town”, OP means a town that exists because of a prison - the prison(s) is the main employer and the town would not be able to be solvent without it. A college town with a prison is not the same thing. Susanville, CA is a classic prison town. Their logging industry failed and now they are dependent on prisons.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw people running around the memorials today and across the Memorial bridge but I know their kings must be burning. I hated walking a few blocks to my appointment.

Are you out of shape?

I ran 4 miles this morning. My lungs/breathing felt completely normal, although yes things smelled smokey.

Have felt fine all day at work.

You are probably less in tune with your body than others. I live in a mountain town where Olympic athletes train. They know their bodies so well that after a couple of days of smoke from ca last summer (aqi in 70-80’s), they told me they could definitely sense the effect on their lungs. Just like how diabetics can get burns and never realize it, some people are less sensitive.

Anonymous wrote:Curious about other parents opinions. I have a 14 year old 8th grader in a school with yearly swim units in PE. Due to Covid, these units have been optional until this year. Now, the only way to be excused is with a doctors note. My daughter desperately wants to get out of swim unit. For most unpleasantness with school, I absolutely tell her to either deal with it or accept the school’s consequence. But, I totally understand, and find appropriate that a 14 year old girl would be horrified to be in a bathing suit in front of her peers. For context, shes a healthy weight and has pretty mild acne/bacne, but, she also has really curly hair that is hard to deal with when wet. I told her I’d ask the doctor for an excuse note, but we wouldn’t lie. So, if the doctor will just write a note excusing her, and the school accepts it with no pushback, I’m fine facilitating that. Curious if others would handle the same way.

I didn’t read all the replies, but surely you are not the only parent doing this. I have two boys who swim year round for a club, and I fully support your decision. Wearing a bathing suit at the age of 14 around peers is not something anyone should be forced to do.

Nova2Euro wrote:Er...Benzema doesn't have a World Cup winner's medal because of his scandals.

This whole incestuously rotten core of US Soccer should be cleaned out

Being convicted of blackmail and being accused of soliciting an underage prostitute is not the same thing as having pushy parents who badger officials to get more playing time. Benzema missed out on 2018, but he was put right back on the squad for 2022. If he hadn’t have been injured, perhaps he would holding the trophy instead of being mailed a second place medal. In any case, I’m sure his ballon d’or and 4 or 5 ucl titles ease the pain. My point is that he had some awful things in his past, but that didn’t keep him from ultimately winning the ballon d’or and being named to the national team.

If you think that us soccer should be cleaned out, perhaps it is a good thing this happened and is getting media attention. Without shining a light, nothing will happen. It might not be enough though.

What his parents did is at odds with the sentiment that
Gio expressed in his instagram post after the story of him almost being sent home broke. It was posted on or just after 12/11, when Danielle spoke with us soccer. Anything could be possible, but I would like to think gio didn’t know about his mom’s actions.

What a mess. I think it’s disingenuous of Danielle to claim that she had no idea that talking to Ernie would lead to an investigation. My takeaway is that the Reynas have long forgotten where the line exists between soccer parents and us soccer bigwigs.

As to whether Reyna should/will stay on the usmnt- I think he should and will stay. Whether or not it is true, his parents will say they acted on their own. Does anyone remember the last ballon d’or winner? Being involved with prostitutes, possibly under age at that, and a conviction for blackmail with sex tapes didn’t slow down or prevent accolades for Benzema.

My first kid took forever to eat, was underweight and had food allergies. We bought a used iPod touch and let him watch videos while he ate when he was a toddler. He clocked so many hours of screen time. He could quote Nemo and cars from memory. This was in 2009-2011, before the iPad was invented, so the norm was for kids to have no screen time other than occasional tv. I thought I was ruining him. At age 4, we took it away and shockingly, nothing happened. Maybe he was so saturated with screen time he got sick of it. He is 14 now, has normal eyesight and isn’t addicted to screens or games. The eating is normal too and most of the allergies disappeared.

Thoughts on the US uniform?

Sorry that you haven’t gotten any replies yet. We transferred between clubs in September a few years back at a much lower level (kid was 9 at the time), and it involved writing a letter to the commissioner of the club, letter to a state official and other hoops. We offered to donate club fees to their scholarship fund, but they returned most of it, so we just made a donation of $100 or so.

Check out the website for encl and look at the bylaws. They should describe the policy on transferring clubs. Find the club commissioner and call/email. Look up the state soccer organization and talk to someone there in person as well. Good luck.

OP here - thanks, this is helpful. I usually swap out the laces for bungee laces, which make it easy to lock down the fit. It’s good to know that the laceless cleats are not that hard to put on. My son often puts on his cleats in the car or in a parking lot because he goes straight from school to practice. The shoehorn is a good tip! Does anyone have experience with Nike laceless cleats?

My 10 year old has always had soccer cleats with laces for grass. He needs new ones, and I’ve noticed that so many cleats are laceless now. I feel like laceless cleats are not as stable as laced ones because they don’t look adjustable at all. What are your kids’ experiences with laceless cleats? They also look like a pain to put on.

I am sorry. Your thread title is not an exaggeration. Your DC sounds like a gritty kid to keep wanting to play after all of this. One day purple coach’s shell game will fall apart.