What were the parenting fails you committed but turned out alright in the long run?
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Anonymous
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Being a first time parent, I some times feel like I'm drowning in information and recommendations. Introduce feeding by X, drop bottle by Y, begin independent play at X, dont let them watch TV until Z. I feel like I do 75 or 80% of this correctly but the rest I fail horribly at. My 1.5 year seems to only want chicken strips for example and we often forget the evening toothbrushing.
I'm exhausted by the mental strain and feel like I'm failing constantly. Don't want to ruin him forever so appease me for a second -- what were your "parenting fails" but turned out alright in the long run? |
Anonymous
| You aren't running your child with any of that. He'll be fine. |
Anonymous
This. Is your child fed, clothed, and loved? Then you're doing a great job. |
Anonymous
| I let all my kids use a pacifier until age 3. Only my youngest ended up with teeth in the shape of a pacifier. (He was going to need braces anyway after inheriting his father's mouth.) |
Anonymous
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You’ve got the right attitude OP! It’s hard. Really hard. The urge to compare your parenting to the Joneses who seem to always be put together with perfectly behaved children that only eat organic kale is strong. But everyone has bad days and fails. Stay away from those who offer unsolicited advice. Ask yourself what you intuitively think is right before googling advice. Your gut is the best guidepost.
As for fails, my kids had too much screen time in the toddler/preschool years. Like, waaay over the recommended amount. I just couldn’t deal with them on so many occasions… it was my escape valve. Now that they’re elementary school age I’ve got it together. We have a whole strict screen time system in place, it’s limited, and they’re fine. Thriving academically and socially. I guess dumb singsongy YouTube videos didn’t fry their brains after all. |
Anonymous
| I had always thought my first born was a picky eater because I pureed all his foods for too long and thought that led him to hating texture and being a picky and unadventurous eater. A couple of years later, after an allergic reaction, we found out he was allergic to everything (all nuts, seafood, shellfish, etc.) so his pickiness and refusal to try most things probably saved his life. |
Anonymous
| Cosleeping for years. DC is now 15 and only sleeps in their room. |
Anonymous
| There's way too much yelling in our house, us at our kids, our kids at us. There's anxiety and depression and reactivity and it's not good. Lots of parenting fails. OP, your concerns seem big but in a few years, you won't even remember them. |
Anonymous
Op here. Thanks for this! I recently found out I was pregnant and my first has had SOOOO much TV time while I feel like crap. Great to hear that the endless repeats of Blippi won't damage him forever...just me 😂 |
Anonymous
| Damn, I thought this was going to be about actual parenting fails, not feeding your kids too many chicken nuggets. I’ll see myself out. |
Anonymous
Same. Also felt it was a fail not joining my daughter in any sports when she was in ES -- she's on varsity field hockey in high school. None of these things really matter, OP. Have you heard the expression "Don't sweat the small stuff"? This is the small stuff. I mean this to be nice -- try not to be neurotic about your parenting b/c kids can pick up on your anxiety and will be more prone to anxiety as they grow up. |
Anonymous
| None of those things matter in the long run. |
Anonymous
Ha! Ty. My kid is almost 4 and still uses one at night. My friends can tease me all they want but my kid sleeps! They have all had various levels of sleep issues when they took there's away from the kid. Teeth are great. Although most kids these days will have braces regardless. They ain't going to high school with it, I'm done worrying. |
Anonymous
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You have to separate the stuff that REALLY matters to you from the stuff that would be nice but aren't not your top priority. Not everything can be a priority. There are tradeoffs. Try to make them mostly work in favor of the stuff that matters to you. Like my kid gets more screen time than I originally thought we'd do, but most of it is nature programs and math games because she likes that stuff and it supports other priorities of mine. She's a picky eater but what she eats is healthy and she doesn't eat lots of processed foods. Good enough. And so on.
You can't be a perfect parent. You can't. No one is. Just set your priorities (my number one is a healthy and respectful relationship with one another, with good communication) and then try to make the good stuff outweighs the bad. No matter what, your kid will be able to look back and say "huh, mom, you kind of messed that up didn't you?" But just try to make sure that you did enough good stuff that whatever it is you messed up is not the end of the world. |
Anonymous
| My kids watch a ton of tv and play on the iPad. They'll be fine. |