Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why we're screwed as a society. People can't handle requirements and want to scream and shout about any and every thing their children say they don't want to do. There's too much self-centeredness in American culture. No willingness to sacrifice comfort for the greater good or to merely overcome something you find challenging, annoying or intimidating.

This is why kids are growing up entitled and spoiled and transitioning into dysfunctional adults. Sad.

Give me a break, we’re talking about 8th grade PE. If your workplace held a mandatory team building activity at an indoor pool, you think all the adults raised in the olden days would show up happily in their suits?

I'll give you examples of grown-up versions of middle school swimming:
- Presenting at team brown-bags (can bring up feeling of anxiety in people averse to public speaking)
- Annual performance reviews (can bring up anxiety and is often a pointless, but required exercise)
- Traveling to a tangentially-relevant conference just to be an attendee (wastes time, can be difficult for anxious travelers)
- Showing up for work and being pleasant and productive when you've been sleep deprived for months with a newborn

All of these things represent one of things that many would choose to opt out of if given the chance. Sure, participating in 8th grade PE isn't that important in the grand scheme of things, but none of the many "required" yet oddly pointless things we do are, in isolation. Having the ability to deal with unpleasantness, our own anxieties, and just realizing that the world doesn't bend to our personal comfort level are important life lessons and one that results in well-adjusted, resilient, productive adults.

Anonymous wrote:This thread is insane. OP, I’m with you and I think you did the right thing. Lots of cruel parents here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why we're screwed as a society. People can't handle requirements and want to scream and shout about any and every thing their children say they don't want to do. There's too much self-centeredness in American culture. No willingness to sacrifice comfort for the greater good or to merely overcome something you find challenging, annoying or intimidating.

This is why kids are growing up entitled and spoiled and transitioning into dysfunctional adults. Sad.

Give me a break, we’re talking about 8th grade PE. If your workplace held a mandatory team building activity at an indoor pool, you think all the adults raised in the olden days would show up happily in their suits?

I'll give you examples of grown-up versions of middle school swimming:
- Presenting at team brown-bags (can bring up feeling of anxiety in people averse to public speaking)
- Annual performance reviews (can bring up anxiety and is often a pointless, but required exercise)
- Traveling to a tangentially-relevant conference just to be an attendee (wastes time, can be difficult for anxious travelers)
- Showing up for work and being pleasant and productive when you've been sleep deprived for months with a newborn

All of these things represent one of things that many would choose to opt out of if given the chance. Sure, participating in 8th grade PE isn't that important in the grand scheme of things, but none of the many "required" yet oddly pointless things we do are, in isolation. Having the ability to deal with unpleasantness, our own anxieties, and just realizing that the world doesn't bend to our personal comfort level are important life lessons and one that results in well-adjusted, resilient, productive adults.

I don’t think any of those things are equivalent at all, and I would absolutely require my kid to do all of the things that are actually comparable to that list. But getting in your swim suit in the middle of the school day isn’t one of them.

Anonymous wrote:Some of these answers are absurd. Yes, op shouldn’t let her daughter escape all uncomfortable situations but if this is an unusual, one-off request based on an idiosyncratic aversion to this weird situation it’s fine. -someone with professional expertise in the development of resilience in young people

Anonymous wrote:Curious about other parents opinions. I have a 14 year old 8th grader in a school with yearly swim units in PE. Due to Covid, these units have been optional until this year. Now, the only way to be excused is with a doctors note. My daughter desperately wants to get out of swim unit. For most unpleasantness with school, I absolutely tell her to either deal with it or accept the school’s consequence. But, I totally understand, and find appropriate that a 14 year old girl would be horrified to be in a bathing suit in front of her peers. For context, shes a healthy weight and has pretty mild acne/bacne, but, she also has really curly hair that is hard to deal with when wet. I told her I’d ask the doctor for an excuse note, but we wouldn’t lie. So, if the doctor will just write a note excusing her, and the school accepts it with no pushback, I’m fine facilitating that. Curious if others would handle the same way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of these answers are absurd. Yes, op shouldn’t let her daughter escape all uncomfortable situations but if this is an unusual, one-off request based on an idiosyncratic aversion to this weird situation it’s fine. -someone with professional expertise in the development of resilience in young people

I'm scared if you're the professional in charge of instilling resilience in young people and that's your attitude.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is insane. OP, I’m with you and I think you did the right thing. Lots of cruel parents here.

Cruel to not get a fake Drs note to excuse participation in a class wide swim class?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why we're screwed as a society. People can't handle requirements and want to scream and shout about any and every thing their children say they don't want to do. There's too much self-centeredness in American culture. No willingness to sacrifice comfort for the greater good or to merely overcome something you find challenging, annoying or intimidating.

This is why kids are growing up entitled and spoiled and transitioning into dysfunctional adults. Sad.

Give me a break, we’re talking about 8th grade PE. If your workplace held a mandatory team building activity at an indoor pool, you think all the adults raised in the olden days would show up happily in their suits?

You might think it’s “just” 8th grade, but this is what’s important in her life right now. Therefore, teaching her how to overcome very normal insecurities about it is what will help her have the tools to overcome insecurities later on in life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs to suck it up, and you do too as a parent.

Agree. All the girls hate the swim unit for similar reasons. This is not note worthy. Your DD does not have a special excuse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're sending her these messages:

Your backne is embarrassing.

Your insecurities are more important than other's' insecurities.

When life is unpleasant, you should avoid it.

Exactly.

OP, this sends a terrible message to your kid.

I don't think any of you remember what it was like to be a 14 year old girl. Or you're men.

And you think the other 14 yr old girls in class really want to do the swim class? I guarantee none of them do. Should they all get a note from mom because they don’t want to do it? Only the boys have to swim? Or is it is everyone that doesn’t feel like swimming doesn’t have to?

Anonymous wrote:OMG. I'm a mean mom I guess. I'd tell her to get her sorry a$$ in the pool and learn to deal with not looking perfect all the time.
Some of you just want to protect your kids from being uncomfortable. As a teacher, I see you and think you're not doing your kid any favors.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're sending her these messages:

Your backne is embarrassing.

Your insecurities are more important than other's' insecurities.

When life is unpleasant, you should avoid it.

Exactly.

OP, this sends a terrible message to your kid.

I don't think any of you remember what it was like to be a 14 year old girl. Or you're men.

And you think the other 14 yr old girls in class really want to do the swim class? I guarantee none of them do. Should they all get a note from mom because they don’t want to do it? Only the boys have to swim? Or is it is everyone that doesn’t feel like swimming doesn’t have to?

I don't care about other girls. I care about mine. I do not care if you like it, approve, think it's selfish, or anything else.

Anonymous wrote:Curious about other parents opinions. I have a 14 year old 8th grader in a school with yearly swim units in PE. Due to Covid, these units have been optional until this year. Now, the only way to be excused is with a doctors note. My daughter desperately wants to get out of swim unit. For most unpleasantness with school, I absolutely tell her to either deal with it or accept the school’s consequence. But, I totally understand, and find appropriate that a 14 year old girl would be horrified to be in a bathing suit in front of her peers. For context, shes a healthy weight and has pretty mild acne/bacne, but, she also has really curly hair that is hard to deal with when wet. I told her I’d ask the doctor for an excuse note, but we wouldn’t lie. So, if the doctor will just write a note excusing her, and the school accepts it with no pushback, I’m fine facilitating that. Curious if others would handle the same way.