Pretty sure my husband is cheating

[Anonymous]

My husband who has more holidays than I do, had planned to rent a house with our kids and some friends in the State where he grew up while I had to go home. Then his friends canceled and only a single woman, a friend of his friends was able to come with her kid.
I was not too thrilled about the idea of him spending a week with a single woman but I am not controlling and I let it go.
Then, he was supposed to leave our kids with their grandparents and spent four days alone, something he had talked about for months. At the last minute, he changed his plan and instead of spending these 4 days alone, he had decided to keep one kid with him leaving the others with the Grandparents. While talking with our kid, I learned that my husband had “forgot” to mention that he had also invited the single woman and her kid with him to that other place. His explanation was that suddenly, he did not need to spend 4 days alone and that he had done it to please our kid who likes the other kid so much and wanted to spend more time with the kid.
My husband is telling me that I am crazy and that he did nothing wrong with this woman. I don’t believe a word of it. Should I believe him?

[Anonymous]

It doesn’t sound good.

[Anonymous]

I'm like 99% certain that other kid is your DH's child. I'm sorry Op.

[Anonymous]

The 'forgot to mention' part stands out. Including a kid old enough to talk is not too bright though.

[Anonymous]

That is his other family. If not already, then soon.

[Anonymous]

If he isn't cheating, he still is the worst communicator on the planet.

If he cannot possibly see how either (1) indicative of cheating OR (2) indicative of complete dementia it is, that he simply "forgot to mention" he invited another adult and child to a dad-kid trip -- he is so oblivious he barely qualifies as sentient.

If he doubles down on "our kid just likes the other kid sooooo much, I invited them" -- well, has your kid talked about the other kid at all? Asked to see the other kid again? Did you have any idea your child was so very interested in this other child, until your DH told you so after the fact they'd all stayed together a second time?

Let's be clear -- you found out that the woman and her child were with DH and your child AFTER the fact, am I reading that right? After your DH and child had already spent those four days with them and come back home? And you found out from your child, not from DH? If that's all the case, your DH is the dumbest cheater ever because what cheating dad would use his kid as cover for an affair and NOT clean up the mess by either telling his kid not to tell mom (risky, kids do talk)?

In mature relationships the spouses talk to each other about things like, oh, inviting someone else along. Under any circumstances.

I know this board will leap to "he's cheating." Maybe he is. Does he do other wildly oblivious things like "forget" to tell you important details about things? Is this habitual, to do what he wants but not think it's worthwhile to tell you about changes in plans?

[Anonymous]

Maybe he didn't cheat on this trip. Maybe the cheating with her happened in the past.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, even by man standards, that looks really sketchy and bad. If I were a female, I’d be all over that BS with a microscope.

[Anonymous]

Oh come on. I defend the idea that we can have opposite-sex friends, and go out for coffee or meals to catch up, but staying alone overnight with an opposite-sex friend, with no other connections, and trying to hide it (!) means he's cheating. If he wants to have a mistress, he shouldn't lie about it.

I am insulted and angry on your behalf, OP.

[Anonymous]

Were you talking with him on the 4 days that he was shacked up with the other family?

Did you guys have daily calls, and he just acted like he was all alone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Oh come on. I defend the idea that we can have opposite-sex friends, and go out for coffee or meals to catch up, but staying alone overnight with an opposite-sex friend, with no other connections, and trying to hide it (!) means he's cheating. If he wants to have a mistress, he shouldn't lie about it.

I am insulted and angry on your behalf, OP.

+1

Like, where does he think the line is? What are you supposed to just accept without suspicion?

[Anonymous]

My husband would tell me if a guy friend was there. And certainly clear a female one. Something is off.

[Anonymous]

Very suspicious. I don’t buy the story of “all the other friends cancelled at the last minute and only the lady was able to go.” I bet that was the plan all along.

[Anonymous]

Wait I’m so confused? It almost sounds crazy enough to be plausible haha what was he thinking? Why didn’t he mention it? Are those two kids really good friends? I have so many questions but it doesn’t sound like cheating mostly because I could see it happening with my plans too and it would be an extended play date for the kid but …still so many questions haha also, why would he bring a kid if he was cheating wouldn’t he get caught more with a witness??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait I’m so confused? It almost sounds crazy enough to be plausible haha what was he thinking? Why didn’t he mention it? Are those two kids really good friends? I have so many questions but it doesn’t sound like cheating mostly because I could see it happening with my plans too and it would be an extended play date for the kid but …still so many questions haha also, why would he bring a kid if he was cheating wouldn’t he get caught more with a witness??

+1 we need more info