Pretty sure my husband is cheating

[Anonymous]

Affairs are characterized by secrecy. This is an affair.

Also, OP, my exBIL did something similar to my sister. His company was having a conference near Disney, and my sister didn't plan to take time off for his work conference. He offered to take their 5 year old DD because lots of other people were bringing their kids, and they could explore the park.

His affair partner was bringing *her* kid. They got adjoining rooms, and the kids slept in one while they slept in the other. My niece didn't mention the woman or her child when they returned home. But then she started tearing her hair out by the roots and acting out at school. My sister would be called in for conferences, and everyone would discuss why little niece had suddenly started having serious problems. It was only after the affair came to light that my sister learned the truth. ExBIL, of course, has never acknowledged the stress it caused his own daughter.

Not sure why anyone would call you a troll.

[Anonymous]

Act like you believe him. Go see a lawyer, gather evidence, get your ducks in a row.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Affairs are characterized by secrecy. This is an affair.

Also, OP, my exBIL did something similar to my sister. His company was having a conference near Disney, and my sister didn't plan to take time off for his work conference. He offered to take their 5 year old DD because lots of other people were bringing their kids, and they could explore the park.

His affair partner was bringing *her* kid. They got adjoining rooms, and the kids slept in one while they slept in the other. My niece didn't mention the woman or her child when they returned home. But then she started tearing her hair out by the roots and acting out at school. My sister would be called in for conferences, and everyone would discuss why little niece had suddenly started having serious problems. It was only after the affair came to light that my sister learned the truth. ExBIL, of course, has never acknowledged the stress it caused his own daughter.

Not sure why anyone would call you a troll.

That’s awful.

I had no idea the extent of my FIL’s awfulness until midlife my husband had a crisis and he did stuff like above with my husband. Plant him in front of a TV with strange women’s kids while he was cheating on his mom. He was a perfectionist for 45 years of his life until he started spiraling..and bingo had an affair.

I am worried about the kid that had to be the one to tell his mom that dad had another woman in the cabin with them. Kid likely saw and felt many things were wrong and that secret had done a lot of damage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a level 10 troll. I can not believe it has been 5 pages to call this out!

EXACTLY! Can't believe that people are really falling for this. LOL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should listen to the podcast Bad Bad Thing. It's not that long, six episodes I think.

I've been listening to this podcast, and honestly, the husband comes out looking very weak - a serial cheater. He tries to portray it as if he's head over hills and "loves" his AP, but not sure if it's a love of his life and not sure it's worth breaking marriage over it. He sounds pretty pathetic. Not that his wife is not psychotic, but I'm outraged at him trying to come out innocent out of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a level 10 troll. I can not believe it has been 5 pages to call this out!

EXACTLY! Can't believe that people are really falling for this. LOL!

What part of a lying, cheater spouse caught up in the illicit thrill of an affair using a vacation opportunity of convenience and his own kid as a pawn/decoy is difficult to believe? This is just par for the course for these types. Affairs in familial homes; illegitimate children; hidden assets; secret rendezvous pads. There isn’t much that would be off limits for people in the throes of a sex/love addiction.

[Anonymous]

Just wondering why he'd take one kid along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a level 10 troll. I can not believe it has been 5 pages to call this out!

EXACTLY! Can't believe that people are really falling for this. LOL!

What part of a lying, cheater spouse caught up in the illicit thrill of an affair using a vacation opportunity of convenience and his own kid as a pawn/decoy is difficult to believe? This is just par for the course for these types. Affairs in familial homes; illegitimate children; hidden assets; secret rendezvous pads. There isn’t much that would be off limits for people in the throes of a sex/love addiction.

Yep. People also underestimate what kids can understand is wrong even at early ages. But, they don’t stop to think because of their throbbing genitals. People literally risk everything for scuzzy sex with those they don’t even really care about most of the time.

You get old enough and you have seen and heard it all. None of this becomes shocking. People are scum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just wondering why he'd take one kid along.

Kid was same age as the woman’s kid (who only had visitation once or twice a year because she was unfit). It kept this kid occupied so they could go in other room and bone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a level 10 troll. I can not believe it has been 5 pages to call this out!

Well, then you haven't lived much. OP's story is sadly a common one. Ask me how I know!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a level 10 troll. I can not believe it has been 5 pages to call this out!

EXACTLY! Can't believe that people are really falling for this. LOL!

What part of a lying, cheater spouse caught up in the illicit thrill of an affair using a vacation opportunity of convenience and his own kid as a pawn/decoy is difficult to believe? This is just par for the course for these types. Affairs in familial homes; illegitimate children; hidden assets; secret rendezvous pads. There isn’t much that would be off limits for people in the throes of a sex/love addiction.

Yep. People also underestimate what kids can understand is wrong even at early ages. But, they don’t stop to think because of their throbbing genitals. People literally risk everything for scuzzy sex with those they don’t even really care about most of the time.

You get old enough and you have seen and heard it all. None of this becomes shocking. People are scum.

+1,000

[Anonymous]

OP, how well did he know this woman (to your knowledge) before the trip? How is she a friend/acquaintance?

is there any reason to think that all the other friends who bailed were never real--that this was always the plan? any yellow flags now that this has happened, stuff you didn't really address earlier?

is it possible the first week was legit but then something "developed" and they continued whatever it was? Or looking back do you sense he may have been having an affair all along?

I concur with everyone else that this is shady af. There's just no way that my spouse would 'forget' to mention that he's spending 4 days with a (single female) acquaintance and her kid, especially after a week with her and no one else (but kids) around.

also, the story of the little girl/disney/affair partner broke my heart. I have a 9 year old and she would absolulely pick up on vibes. Make sure your child feels safe and loved with you when they return, they may be dealing with knowldge/a secret that they can't handle.

[Anonymous]

It is definitely shady.

As others have said, I would pretend like you believe him, check some texts and emails, get your ducks in a row, maybe get a PI, figure out finances, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a level 10 troll. I can not believe it has been 5 pages to call this out!

EXACTLY! Can't believe that people are really falling for this. LOL!

What part of a lying, cheater spouse caught up in the illicit thrill of an affair using a vacation opportunity of convenience and his own kid as a pawn/decoy is difficult to believe? This is just par for the course for these types. Affairs in familial homes; illegitimate children; hidden assets; secret rendezvous pads. There isn’t much that would be off limits for people in the throes of a sex/love addiction.

Yep. People also underestimate what kids can understand is wrong even at early ages. But, they don’t stop to think because of their throbbing genitals. People literally risk everything for scuzzy sex with those they don’t even really care about most of the time.

You get old enough and you have seen and heard it all. None of this becomes shocking. People are scum.

Addiction is the only explanation I can come up with as to why someone would put their family and reputation through the ringer for a few hours of fantasy that they would never want to encroach into their reality. It’s almost like - “I have to keep this person compartmentalized so that my cover isn’t blown and they don’t have the opportunity to see how lame/ineffective/incompetent I really am.”

[Anonymous]

Yes cheating. I’m so sorry.