Pretty sure my husband is cheating

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

People aren't scum. People are people. Doing what they were literally biologically designed to do in order to perpetuate the species.

It would be better for everyone if people recognized this and stopped treating people like evil disgusting scum bags because they want to have sex with someone new after 20 years.

People aren't scum because they desire sex with someone new. They're scum because they lie to their spouses to do it.

BS. The women (or men) who lose their minds over their husbands cheating would do the exact same thing if their spouse told them they wanted to sleep with someone else. People lie about cheating because they know their spouse feels ownership over their partner's body.

Yes. Just go out and cheat because it's better than owning up to your actions. Most cheaters are still having sex with their spouses. You are violating them and their sense that are in a safe, monogamous relationship when you are out ho-ing around behind their backs. Not to mention risking the security of your family and kids when someone sees you with your nasty AP and the gossip rumor mill takes off.

Ownership of someone's body? Get over your self. How about a marriage contract? Vows? What was understood at the time of the marriage? If there is a change to that, it is communicated PRIOR to THE action.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

People aren't scum. People are people. Doing what they were literally biologically designed to do in order to perpetuate the species.

It would be better for everyone if people recognized this and stopped treating people like evil disgusting scum bags because they want to have sex with someone new after 20 years.

People aren't scum because they desire sex with someone new. They're scum because they lie to their spouses to do it.

BS. The women (or men) who lose their minds over their husbands cheating would do the exact same thing if their spouse told them they wanted to sleep with someone else. People lie about cheating because they know their spouse feels ownership over their partner's body.

People lie because they're cowards. I ended a relationship because I had a desire to cheat and knew my partner didn't want to open the relationship (yes, I asked).

+1 not just cowards, inherently dishonest people with no morals. Lying, gaslighting, betraying and exposing to people to disease without their knowledge/consent and risking their health is what SCUM do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a level 10 troll. I can not believe it has been 5 pages to call this out!

EXACTLY! Can't believe that people are really falling for this. LOL!

What part of a lying, cheater spouse caught up in the illicit thrill of an affair using a vacation opportunity of convenience and his own kid as a pawn/decoy is difficult to believe? This is just par for the course for these types. Affairs in familial homes; illegitimate children; hidden assets; secret rendezvous pads. There isn’t much that would be off limits for people in the throes of a sex/love addiction.

Yep. People also underestimate what kids can understand is wrong even at early ages. But, they don’t stop to think because of their throbbing genitals. People literally risk everything for scuzzy sex with those they don’t even really care about most of the time.

You get old enough and you have seen and heard it all. None of this becomes shocking. People are scum.

People aren't scum. People are people. Doing what they were literally biologically designed to do in order to perpetuate the species.

It would be better for everyone if people recognized this and stopped treating people like evil disgusting scum bags because they want to have sex with someone new after 20 years.

Nobody is biologically designed to cheat in front of their kids.

I know, riiiiggghtt?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Affairs are characterized by secrecy. This is an affair.

Also, OP, my exBIL did something similar to my sister. His company was having a conference near Disney, and my sister didn't plan to take time off for his work conference. He offered to take their 5 year old DD because lots of other people were bringing their kids, and they could explore the park.

His affair partner was bringing *her* kid. They got adjoining rooms, and the kids slept in one while they slept in the other. My niece didn't mention the woman or her child when they returned home. But then she started tearing her hair out by the roots and acting out at school. My sister would be called in for conferences, and everyone would discuss why little niece had suddenly started having serious problems. It was only after the affair came to light that my sister learned the truth. ExBIL, of course, has never acknowledged the stress it caused his own daughter.

Not sure why anyone would call you a troll.

That’s awful.

I had no idea the extent of my FIL’s awfulness until midlife my husband had a crisis and he did stuff like above with my husband. Plant him in front of a TV with strange women’s kids while he was cheating on his mom. He was a perfectionist for 45 years of his life until he started spiraling..and bingo had an affair.

I am worried about the kid that had to be the one to tell his mom that dad had another woman in the cabin with them. Kid likely saw and felt many things were wrong and that secret had done a lot of damage.

Ugh. That is heartbreaking. To put that kind of burden of secrecy on a child is cruel, selfish, and damaging.

Yep. It messed him up. And it's exactly what OP's husband is doing to their kid.

[Anonymous]

Don’t act like it’s some moral virtue to end a marriage before you cheat instead of after. You still broke your vows.

People suck.

[Anonymous]

My ex definitely used the "oh, the other people cancelled" excuse when meeting up with her AP.

[Anonymous]

Where is OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t act like it’s some moral virtue to end a marriage before you cheat instead of after. You still broke your vows.

People suck.

I was unmarried but in a committed relationship. No vows broken but I take your point.

[Anonymous]

Yup! Cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t act like it’s some moral virtue to end a marriage before you cheat instead of after. You still broke your vows.

People suck.

Trust me. I'd rather have it end before knowing I had been boning him w.in hours of him having unprotected sex with someone else for years. The pain and disgust and violation (literally it takes away your consent, you are violated and it feels like assault) when you find out you were not in a monogamous marriage.

DP. You're right. When someone cheats, that person's spouse/partner ends up fundamentally sexually involved with every person with whom the cheater has sex. The idea of someone coming home from an AP hookup and then having sex with a committed spouse or partner is revolting. At the very minimum there is the issue of disease (something rarely mentioned on the many threads here about cheating). Beyond that, there is the betrayal that goes far beyond sexual betrayal.

[Anonymous]

I would assume he is cheating. There is at least the appearance of impropriety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t act like it’s some moral virtue to end a marriage before you cheat instead of after. You still broke your vows.

People suck.

I don’t know I would call it a moral virtual but it’s far more moral than cheating!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t act like it’s some moral virtue to end a marriage before you cheat instead of after. You still broke your vows.

People suck.

Trust me. I'd rather have it end before knowing I had been boning him w.in hours of him having unprotected sex with someone else for years. The pain and disgust and violation (literally it takes away your consent, you are violated and it feels like assault) when you find out you were not in a monogamous marriage.

DP. You're right. When someone cheats, that person's spouse/partner ends up fundamentally sexually involved with every person with whom the cheater has sex. The idea of someone coming home from an AP hookup and then having sex with a committed spouse or partner is revolting. At the very minimum there is the issue of disease (something rarely mentioned on the many threads here about cheating). Beyond that, there is the betrayal that goes far beyond sexual betrayal.

+1,000

THIs one hundred times over. So traumatizing.

If you, like me, had sex about 4 times per week with STBX spouse. It’s so gross and violating…and to find they never used condoms. There are no words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t act like it’s some moral virtue to end a marriage before you cheat instead of after. You still broke your vows.

People suck.

Trust me. I'd rather have it end before knowing I had been boning him w.in hours of him having unprotected sex with someone else for years. The pain and disgust and violation (literally it takes away your consent, you are violated and it feels like assault) when you find out you were not in a monogamous marriage.

DP. You're right. When someone cheats, that person's spouse/partner ends up fundamentally sexually involved with every person with whom the cheater has sex. The idea of someone coming home from an AP hookup and then having sex with a committed spouse or partner is revolting. At the very minimum there is the issue of disease (something rarely mentioned on the many threads here about cheating). Beyond that, there is the betrayal that goes far beyond sexual betrayal.

+1,000

THIs one hundred times over. So traumatizing.

If you, like me, had sex about 4 times per week with STBX spouse. It’s so gross and violating…and to find they never used condoms. There are no words.

Agreed it’s way worse. But it’s still not great for the spouse to be like “I’m leaving you because I want to sleep with someone else. I just wanted to tell you beforehand.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband who has more holidays than I do, had planned to rent a house with our kids and some friends in the State where he grew up while I had to go home. Then his friends canceled and only a single woman, a friend of his friends was able to come with her kid.
I was not too thrilled about the idea of him spending a week with a single woman but I am not controlling and I let it go.
Then, he was supposed to leave our kids with their grandparents and spent four days alone, something he had talked about for months. At the last minute, he changed his plan and instead of spending these 4 days alone, he had decided to keep one kid with him leaving the others with the Grandparents. While talking with our kid, I learned that my husband had “forgot” to mention that he had also invited the single woman and her kid with him to that other place. His explanation was that suddenly, he did not need to spend 4 days alone and that he had done it to please our kid who likes the other kid so much and wanted to spend more time with the kid.
My husband is telling me that I am crazy and that he did nothing wrong with this woman. I don’t believe a word of it. Should I believe him?

Not sure if this is a troll or what. If true why on earth would he have have left knowing everyone else canceled except a single woman? Why would you have condoned it? It's so crazy, but at this point I would look at his phone records to see if they are talking then either divorce, or put a stop to it. Tell him in no uncertain terms if he ever does something like that again you will go through with a divorce and he will lose his family. Which is what divorce is all about, especially for cheating men.