Need advice - I have zero attraction to DH and avoid sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him in no uncertain terms that his actions are making you feel like a piece of meat & that they are turning you OFF to sex completely.

Stress that you don't enjoy being grabbed and rubbed on at any given moment.

You need to feel emotionally desired as well as physically desired.

If my wife told me that, the not wanting to be rubbed or grabbed would be clear enough. But I'd have a hard time figuring out exactly what "feeling emotionally desired" means. I mean, I generally can understand the concept, but it's so squishy and vague, I'd have no way of knowing when her lack of that feeling was because of things I was or wasn't doing versus when it was just some arbitrary decision or lack of effort on her part. Those are goal posts that are pretty easy to move, and it's a concept that's pretty susceptible to being used as a pretext.

You'd have a hard time figuring out what she means, because everything the OP is saying about this situation is exactly what a wife cheating on her husband says. It's basically all gaslighting and blame shifting.

OP never answered PP's question about whether or not she was cheating (or has cheated in the past) on her husband.

Since OP is still in the thread, answering questions, it's obvious that OP is a cheater.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you are a lousy wife.

+100

That's not what he said today. Quite the opposite and it was not elicited. He knows things are rough. I didn't intend to make this one of the "hot" threads lol. But again I appreciate the feedback, taking it all in. I need to simplify, delegate, have more date nites, find the spark, he needs to stop groping at weird times. Force kissing. .

OP: Are you cheating on him?

Yes or no.

Please answer the question and stop evading it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP, you have got to get a break. Hire a cleaning service. Hire a handyman. Hire a lawn service. Hire a babysitter so you can go to the gym. Whatever you need to do to give yourself some regular downtime. And then, talk to your husband and tell him that he's attractive and you love him, but you are totally exhausted and resentful and something has to change.

Why would she tell him she's exhausted *after* she's hired all these people to reduce her workload? After all this hiring, she should be rested and ready to sex him up.

She would tell him that because she's lying to him and gaslighting him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell him in no uncertain terms that his actions are making you feel like a piece of meat & that they are turning you OFF to sex completely.

Stress that you don't enjoy being grabbed and rubbed on at any given moment.

You need to feel emotionally desired as well as physically desired.

Still doesn't make sense - I love being a piece of meat to husband. Why does she have no feeling?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him in no uncertain terms that his actions are making you feel like a piece of meat & that they are turning you OFF to sex completely.

Stress that you don't enjoy being grabbed and rubbed on at any given moment.

You need to feel emotionally desired as well as physically desired.

Still doesn't make sense - I love being a piece of meat to husband. Why does she have no feeling?

Gross. My DH is like the OPs. I hate him groping at me and force kissing me. I've never cheated on him either.

Wish he had married you. I bet he could ram his dick all night into your back and you'd love it. I'm not into the rape fantasies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him in no uncertain terms that his actions are making you feel like a piece of meat & that they are turning you OFF to sex completely.

Stress that you don't enjoy being grabbed and rubbed on at any given moment.

You need to feel emotionally desired as well as physically desired.

Still doesn't make sense - I love being a piece of meat to husband. Why does she have no feeling?

Gross. My DH is like the OPs. I hate him groping at me and force kissing me. I've never cheated on him either.

Wish he had married you. I bet he could ram his dick all night into your back and you'd love it. I'm not into the rape fantasies.

Do you have much of a libido when he's not groping you? Or does he just kind of have to guess when the right time to initiate might be?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him in no uncertain terms that his actions are making you feel like a piece of meat & that they are turning you OFF to sex completely.

Stress that you don't enjoy being grabbed and rubbed on at any given moment.

You need to feel emotionally desired as well as physically desired.

Still doesn't make sense - I love being a piece of meat to husband. Why does she have no feeling?

Gross. My DH is like the OPs. I hate him groping at me and force kissing me. I've never cheated on him either.

Wish he had married you. I bet he could ram his dick all night into your back and you'd love it. I'm not into the rape fantasies.

Same here and I hate it, hate it, hate it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him in no uncertain terms that his actions are making you feel like a piece of meat & that they are turning you OFF to sex completely.

Stress that you don't enjoy being grabbed and rubbed on at any given moment.

You need to feel emotionally desired as well as physically desired.

Still doesn't make sense - I love being a piece of meat to husband. Why does she have no feeling?

Gross. My DH is like the OPs. I hate him groping at me and force kissing me. I've never cheated on him either.

Wish he had married you. I bet he could ram his dick all night into your back and you'd love it. I'm not into the rape fantasies.

Do you have much of a libido when he's not groping you? Or does he just kind of have to guess when the right time to initiate might be?

I have a ton of libido. I'm at my sexual peak. I don't think his thinking about me being turned on is that deep. I'm guessing it comes from his most primitive part of his brain. He'll start groping me when Im cleaning the oven, puking in the toilet, folding clothes, or any other idiotic time. His guess is every second he gets free to grope me. His favorite annoying and repulsive trick is the dick ram. I'm not turned on by his dick ramming into my leg, back, hip, shoulder, or whatever.

Yes, I've told him this. No it never changes. Again, you women who love this can have at him. I'm serious.

[Anonymous]

Divorce.

[Anonymous]

He doesn't even know what a flathead screwdriver is? I'd be turned off, too.

But seriously, it sounds like you are both overworked. Unfortunately, men use sex to unwind, whereas women usually need to unwind enough to enjoy sex. Frustrating.

[Anonymous]

Op what was the point of creating this thread and complaining when you are clearly cheating on him? Don't worry he'll eventually find out and dump you. He deserves someone better than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you are a lousy wife.

+100

That's not what he said today. Quite the opposite and it was not elicited. He knows things are rough. I didn't intend to make this one of the "hot" threads lol. But again I appreciate the feedback, taking it all in. I need to simplify, delegate, have more date nites, find the spark, he needs to stop groping at weird times. Force kissing. .

My god, what is all this use of the term "force kissing"? That's not a phrase. "Kissing by force" or "forcibly kissing", but "force kissing" is not a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him in no uncertain terms that his actions are making you feel like a piece of meat & that they are turning you OFF to sex completely.

Stress that you don't enjoy being grabbed and rubbed on at any given moment.

You need to feel emotionally desired as well as physically desired.

Still doesn't make sense - I love being a piece of meat to husband. Why does she have no feeling?

Gross. My DH is like the OPs. I hate him groping at me and force kissing me. I've never cheated on him either.

Wish he had married you. I bet he could ram his dick all night into your back and you'd love it. I'm not into the rape fantasies.

Same here and I hate it, hate it, hate it!

Then why did you 'marry it'?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you are a lousy wife.

+100

That's not what he said today. Quite the opposite and it was not elicited. He knows things are rough. I didn't intend to make this one of the "hot" threads lol. But again I appreciate the feedback, taking it all in. I need to simplify, delegate, have more date nites, find the spark, he needs to stop groping at weird times. Force kissing. .

My god, what is all this use of the term "force kissing"? That's not a phrase. "Kissing by force" or "forcibly kissing", but "force kissing" is not a thing.

It's a Jedi thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you are a lousy wife.

+100

That's not what he said today. Quite the opposite and it was not elicited. He knows things are rough. I didn't intend to make this one of the "hot" threads lol. But again I appreciate the feedback, taking it all in. I need to simplify, delegate, have more date nites, find the spark, he needs to stop groping at weird times. Force kissing. .

My god, what is all this use of the term "force kissing"? That's not a phrase. "Kissing by force" or "forcibly kissing", but "force kissing" is not a thing.

It's a Jedi thing.

Yes, usually followed up by the force choke for those BDSM inclined.