Deciding to have kids later- do you regret/ are you happy?

[Anonymous]

Op. I never had a burning desire to have children and I don't think that dh did either. We had a calm, orderly, enjoyable life together. We really weren't thinking about babies or kids until we found out we were expecting at 34/36.

Priorities shifted fast for us. Having a baby. Talk about a sudden total life change! Then a year and a half later - we found out we were expecting again. In the span of only a few years...from zero to 2 kids. It is HUGE.

I'll be 50 soon. I really wouldn't want to deal with a newborn now...the sleep deprivation alone would be brutal. But teens are fun. Well, at least our teens are fun. I know we're lucky.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I also had mine at 36 and 39. What I notice are the friends who had theirs younger and are now in a position to retire. Meanwhile, I have 12 years to go until the little one is out of college. I feel like I would like to do something different, but I can't. I make a really good living, but it is a high stress life. I am also going through a divorce (STBXH also does well, so we share custody and expenses). The divorce may color my view of things and the feeling of exhaustion. If your marriage is really solid and you are set financially, you may have a different experience. Sometimes I think, with the very analytical part of my brain, that it would have been easier (though it wouldn't have saved the marriage) if we stopped at one as planned. #2 was an oops, although I have to tell you she has brought more joy than I could have imagined to my life. That observation comes from a different part of my brain and from my heart.

+1 to all of this minus the divorce part. I am 55 and DH is 60 and we have two kids, 18 and 15. The15yo, a freshman in high school, will be dependent on us for 8 more years. DH will work for as long as he can, as will I, but I am tired of what I do and would love to dabble in something fun. With college on the horizon, that is not an option.

This is defenetly something that people don't consider when they choose to wait. I am 46 and my child graduated from the law school and been working and fully supporting himself for a year now. I am so glad that all the money I make now, all the free time I have I can spend the way I want.

PP here. It is all about tradeoffs. An empty nest at 50 is certainly appealing, but OTOH I spent my 20s and early 30s living abroad and having all kinds of adventures and experiences, and would not trade that for the world.

It is a drag sometimes not to be able to live for myself now. But I lived for myself for a very long time in young adulthood, which people who became parents at a young age did not.

Let's get real here. Traveling at 46 is wayyyy better than traveling at 28. You have more money and you spend your time more wisely.

I'm not the poster you are responding to, but preschoolers at 46? That sounds like a hellish way to spend middle age. Collecting social security and paying college? Yea. No.

Are you joking? Also who has an empty nest at 46? Only if you're white trash and then your idea of fun is probably going to Walmart. And you probably have great grandkidS.

But really the reason I'd rather be in my 20s or 30s and having fun is because there are a lot of other people doing it. Good luck finding a group of friends at 46 who want to go long trips to Europe, dine out at top restaurants and stay out late. You better hope you like spending time with your spouse because that's who you'll be hanging out with. Most other educated couples will have already done all of those things and will be focused on kids and maybe second homes. Not going to Ibiza.

Lol! I also have a second home, I'm at it right now sitting on the toilet.. Just because we had kids in our early 20s doesn't mean we're busted broke. I grew up in McLean and attended Sidwell. I've been to a Walmart maybe 3 times in my life.

At the risk of sounding pretentious, considering the kind of people I grew up with and the affluence I was surrounded with, it's not hard to find travel partners. Maybe that is the case for your circle, but not mine. #middleclassproblems #nobodytotravelwirh #cantrelate

Pp here. Curious but will your girlfriends travel with you? My friends won't go anywhere without their husbands. It seems hard to plan vacations around so many work schedules. Are you and your spouse wealthy enough that you don't have to work and you run around in the jet setting crowd? If so....why do you live in DC?!

Yes, we do a week girls trip at least once a year and then long weekends here and there. I will say though, most of my friends don't work normal 9-5 jobs if they even work.

We live in DC because we grew up here and we have friends and family here. A big network. Additionally we own a business together and this is where the money is at. The business will always keep us here. Owning our own business is what gives us a ton of flexibility to travel.

Though we live in DC (and like it here very much) we escape to our second home whenever we can when the weather gets cold and nasty.

So you run with an extremely wealthy crowd of educated people who don't work (or possibly own their own businesses that can be closed whenever to go on vacation...the very definition of a successful business) and had their kids early so everyone is ready to let loose in their 40s. That's a real unicorn! Never met one person like that, but you've found a whole crowd to hang with. Well done.

That's the life of people born into wealth for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Waiting gives you the maturity, patience, and, generally, a better economic situation, which makes the very difficult process of raising children less difficult.

except for your eggs die out after 35 dum dum

[Anonymous]

A DH here, who is 48. DW and I have a 6-year-old and a 3-year-old. DW is 42.

We're so glad to have these wonderful children, but we both wish we had met sooner and had the kids sooner. The forties are a tough decade on the body -- easier to gain weight, less energy in general -- and having young kids during that time only compounds the effect.

Moreover, both of us work full-time and, after spending two decades building our careers, we have found that the demands of raising young children has been a career-staller, if not a career-killer. We're both treading water at work, hoping to make it to a time when the kids are more independent and less labor- and time-intensive. And the careers are stalled despite the realization that I'll be in my 60s when the kids are in college, if all goes according to plan. So retiring early, which I had hoped to do, is going to be tough, if not impossible.

Don't get me wrong. The trade offs are worth it. I'd rather have 2 young kids at 48 than have no kids at all. But both DW and I would prefer to have had them younger.

I would advise my kids to have their own children between age 27 and 35 if they can, and if they have found someone they love and are committed to. I think you want the nest to empty by your mid-50s if you can. That also would make it more likely that they have meaningful relationships with their eventual grandchildren, should they have any. Me, I just hope to be hanging on long enough to see my kids have kids.

Good luck OP!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I also had mine at 36 and 39. What I notice are the friends who had theirs younger and are now in a position to retire. Meanwhile, I have 12 years to go until the little one is out of college. I feel like I would like to do something different, but I can't. I make a really good living, but it is a high stress life. I am also going through a divorce (STBXH also does well, so we share custody and expenses). The divorce may color my view of things and the feeling of exhaustion. If your marriage is really solid and you are set financially, you may have a different experience. Sometimes I think, with the very analytical part of my brain, that it would have been easier (though it wouldn't have saved the marriage) if we stopped at one as planned. #2 was an oops, although I have to tell you she has brought more joy than I could have imagined to my life. That observation comes from a different part of my brain and from my heart.

+1 to all of this minus the divorce part. I am 55 and DH is 60 and we have two kids, 18 and 15. The15yo, a freshman in high school, will be dependent on us for 8 more years. DH will work for as long as he can, as will I, but I am tired of what I do and would love to dabble in something fun. With college on the horizon, that is not an option.

This is defenetly something that people don't consider when they choose to wait. I am 46 and my child graduated from the law school and been working and fully supporting himself for a year now. I am so glad that all the money I make now, all the free time I have I can spend the way I want.

PP here. It is all about tradeoffs. An empty nest at 50 is certainly appealing, but OTOH I spent my 20s and early 30s living abroad and having all kinds of adventures and experiences, and would not trade that for the world.

It is a drag sometimes not to be able to live for myself now. But I lived for myself for a very long time in young adulthood, which people who became parents at a young age did not.

Let's get real here. Traveling at 46 is wayyyy better than traveling at 28. You have more money and you spend your time more wisely.

I'm not the poster you are responding to, but preschoolers at 46? That sounds like a hellish way to spend middle age. Collecting social security and paying college? Yea. No.

Are you joking? Also who has an empty nest at 46? Only if you're white trash and then your idea of fun is probably going to Walmart. And you probably have great grandkidS.

But really the reason I'd rather be in my 20s or 30s and having fun is because there are a lot of other people doing it. Good luck finding a group of friends at 46 who want to go long trips to Europe, dine out at top restaurants and stay out late. You better hope you like spending time with your spouse because that's who you'll be hanging out with. Most other educated couples will have already done all of those things and will be focused on kids and maybe second homes. Not going to Ibiza.

Lol! I also have a second home, I'm at it right now sitting on the toilet.. Just because we had kids in our early 20s doesn't mean we're busted broke. I grew up in McLean and attended Sidwell. I've been to a Walmart maybe 3 times in my life.

At the risk of sounding pretentious, considering the kind of people I grew up with and the affluence I was surrounded with, it's not hard to find travel partners. Maybe that is the case for your circle, but not mine. #middleclassproblems #nobodytotravelwirh #cantrelate

Pp here. Curious but will your girlfriends travel with you? My friends won't go anywhere without their husbands. It seems hard to plan vacations around so many work schedules. Are you and your spouse wealthy enough that you don't have to work and you run around in the jet setting crowd? If so....why do you live in DC?!

Yes, we do a week girls trip at least once a year and then long weekends here and there. I will say though, most of my friends don't work normal 9-5 jobs if they even work.

We live in DC because we grew up here and we have friends and family here. A big network. Additionally we own a business together and this is where the money is at. The business will always keep us here. Owning our own business is what gives us a ton of flexibility to travel.

Though we live in DC (and like it here very much) we escape to our second home whenever we can when the weather gets cold and nasty.

So you run with an extremely wealthy crowd of educated people who don't work (or possibly own their own businesses that can be closed whenever to go on vacation...the very definition of a successful business) and had their kids early so everyone is ready to let loose in their 40s. That's a real unicorn! Never met one person like that, but you've found a whole crowd to hang with. Well done.

That's the life of people born into wealth for you.

That is definitely unicorn spotting!

I do know a very small number of people that fit that profile and every one of them comes from enormous, multi-generational wealth that has given then flexibility and options that the vast majority of people don't have and will never have. It's fascinating to me, having grown up on the lower end of middle-middle class.

I think thats one of the real differences between the high end of UMC and real-deal upper class rich even though they play nicely together and outwardly look very similar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Waiting gives you the maturity, patience, and, generally, a better economic situation, which makes the very difficult process of raising children less difficult.

except for your eggs die out after 35 dum dum

OP here..except they don't "dum dum" (which should be spelled with a b, but whatever)

As the OP, I know that my eggs are what they are. Need the maths? I have a 50% chance of gettin pg within a year and a 34% chance of miscarriage.

Does that make you feel better?

I asked specifically for a loser parents to comment, spec ting full well that some may be good and some ma be negative. I have friends on both sides of the fence. As I am now actually, really 40 and without a time machine, I cannot turn my ovaries back to 30 , as much I maybe wish I could. Maybe when you are older and out of time because of circumstance, you'll understand. At 35, I thought we had time. But life happened and we didn't. But thanks for yr post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Waiting gives you the maturity, patience, and, generally, a better economic situation, which makes the very difficult process of raising children less difficult.

except for your eggs die out after 35 dum dum

OP here..except they don't "dum dum" (which should be spelled with a b, but whatever)

As the OP, I know that my eggs are what they are. Need the maths? I have a 50% chance of gettin pg within a year and a 34% chance of miscarriage.

Does that make you feel better?

I asked specifically for a loser parents to comment, spec ting full well that some may be good and some ma be negative. I have friends on both sides of the fence. As I am now actually, really 40 and without a time machine, I cannot turn my ovaries back to 30 , as much I maybe wish I could. Maybe when you are older and out of time because of circumstance, you'll understand. At 35, I thought we had time. But life happened and we didn't. But thanks for yr post.

Loser = older, thank you apple.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP. Here's my two cents, for whatever it's worth. Heart trumps head for this kind of decision (assuming you have all the resources etc...)

I had my twins in my mid-40's. Never felt the burning biological clock, didn't meet a man I could fathom marrying and parenting with until I was 40. Spent a couple of years trying desperately to get preganant and only succeeded w/ donor eggs. I'm now pushing 50 with preschoolers and I don't regret it. Usually.

I am always tired, and I struggle with mommy/wife/career guilt on every level.

I have a level of laughter and love in my life that I would miss terribly now.

I had a healthy pregnancy, healthy babies, and an easy recovery from c-section. Physically I don't think my experience was any worse as a result of my age (other than not having my own eggs of course - which was definitely age.)

I am an infinitely calmer, more patient, less reactive parent than I would have been 10 or 20 years ago. My kids absolutely benefit from my maturity.

I don't spend a lot of time feeling like a horrible outlier because of my age - but I do make sure to keep up with dying my hair regularly.

In a perfect world I would have met my husband when I was 30, spent 5-6 years travelling the world with him, and have had my kids (one at a time) in my late 30's. But life isn't perfect. I've made the best choices possible at any given time, being as true to my heart as I could and trying to live a life that I wouldn't regret when I look back.

The kids are a huge part of that. It isn't easy to be a parent - period. There are challenges and hurdles no matter the age, economics, marital status, career/family realities, etc... We all face struggles with parenting.

But if you and your husband want kids, have a stable loving relationship, can afford the costs, are secure in your careers (or any decisions you might want to make about jobs/childcare), and think that being parents is something you want to do then go for it.

Trust your hearts. Trust each other. Trust the human machine that builds us to do this.

You'll be great.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A DH here, who is 48. DW and I have a 6-year-old and a 3-year-old. DW is 42.

We're so glad to have these wonderful children, but we both wish we had met sooner and had the kids sooner. The forties are a tough decade on the body -- easier to gain weight, less energy in general -- and having young kids during that time only compounds the effect.

Moreover, both of us work full-time and, after spending two decades building our careers, we have found that the demands of raising young children has been a career-staller, if not a career-killer. We're both treading water at work, hoping to make it to a time when the kids are more independent and less labor- and time-intensive. And the careers are stalled despite the realization that I'll be in my 60s when the kids are in college, if all goes according to plan. So retiring early, which I had hoped to do, is going to be tough, if not impossible.

Don't get me wrong. The trade offs are worth it. I'd rather have 2 young kids at 48 than have no kids at all. But both DW and I would prefer to have had them younger.

I would advise my kids to have their own children between age 27 and 35 if they can, and if they have found someone they love and are committed to. I think you want the nest to empty by your mid-50s if you can. That also would make it more likely that they have meaningful relationships with their eventual grandchildren, should they have any. Me, I just hope to be hanging on long enough to see my kids have kids.

Good luck OP!

I didn't read the whole thread, but your comment stuck out to me and I just want to say thank you for sharing the most honest words here. As a 32 year old female in a committed relationship on the brink of engagement, wedding, buying a home, and establishing full time placement at work this was a real eye opening feedback. We know we want kids but we thought we would wait til 35-36 to be more financially stable, but we have been discussing the possibility of having kids sooner and buying a starter home as opposed to a forever home now. This makes a lot more sense to us considering we want 1-2 kids. It really depends how it goes with 1 and if I'm up for #2 within 2 year period. I want to finish having kids by 36.

[Anonymous]

I was never particularly interested in having kids; nor was DH. After about 15 years together, including 8 years of marriage, we decided to have children for the "wrong" reason--because we thought we might regret not having them later on. I was 37 when we had our first and 39 when we had our second. I have never regretted it. (Okay, well, maybe there were moments when I wondered about the wisdom of going from one to two...) Having children has been a source of what to me was unimaginable joy (along with exhaustion, frustration, and many less desirable states of being). I wish we had been a little younger when we had our first, but for me, better late than never.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A DH here, who is 48. DW and I have a 6-year-old and a 3-year-old. DW is 42.

We're so glad to have these wonderful children, but we both wish we had met sooner and had the kids sooner. The forties are a tough decade on the body -- easier to gain weight, less energy in general -- and having young kids during that time only compounds the effect.

Moreover, both of us work full-time and, after spending two decades building our careers, we have found that the demands of raising young children has been a career-staller, if not a career-killer. We're both treading water at work, hoping to make it to a time when the kids are more independent and less labor- and time-intensive. And the careers are stalled despite the realization that I'll be in my 60s when the kids are in college, if all goes according to plan. So retiring early, which I had hoped to do, is going to be tough, if not impossible.

Don't get me wrong. The trade offs are worth it. I'd rather have 2 young kids at 48 than have no kids at all. But both DW and I would prefer to have had them younger.

I would advise my kids to have their own children between age 27 and 35 if they can, and if they have found someone they love and are committed to. I think you want the nest to empty by your mid-50s if you can. That also would make it more likely that they have meaningful relationships with their eventual grandchildren, should they have any. Me, I just hope to be hanging on long enough to see my kids have kids.

Good luck OP!

I'm the PP. Thanks for the kind words. Glad you found my feedback helpful.

Regarding starter homes vs. forever homes, DW and I bought a 3BR house when we still had just the one child, and didn't know if we would have another. After no. 2 came along we really regretted not stretching to get a 4BR. We plan to move up to a bigger house eventually, but the transaction costs are not insignificant. Consider renting in the neighborhood you think you'd like to buy in until you know how big a house you'll eventually want to have. That may also allow you to save more as well. For us, it would have made sense to wait and go for the forever home. As it stands, we may not end up in our forever home until I'm in my 50s -- but we probably could have been in one by now if we hadn't bought the starter home (and sunk some money into renovations).

Everybody is different, of course (you all are younger, for one thing), so think about it and do what's right for you. Good luck!





I didn't read the whole thread, but your comment stuck out to me and I just want to say thank you for sharing the most honest words here. As a 32 year old female in a committed relationship on the brink of engagement, wedding, buying a home, and establishing full time placement at work this was a real eye opening feedback. We know we want kids but we thought we would wait til 35-36 to be more financially stable, but we have been discussing the possibility of having kids sooner and buying a starter home as opposed to a forever home now. This makes a lot more sense to us considering we want 1-2 kids. It really depends how it goes with 1 and if I'm up for #2 within 2 year period. I want to finish having kids by 36.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A DH here, who is 48. DW and I have a 6-year-old and a 3-year-old. DW is 42.

We're so glad to have these wonderful children, but we both wish we had met sooner and had the kids sooner. The forties are a tough decade on the body -- easier to gain weight, less energy in general -- and having young kids during that time only compounds the effect.

Moreover, both of us work full-time and, after spending two decades building our careers, we have found that the demands of raising young children has been a career-staller, if not a career-killer. We're both treading water at work, hoping to make it to a time when the kids are more independent and less labor- and time-intensive. And the careers are stalled despite the realization that I'll be in my 60s when the kids are in college, if all goes according to plan. So retiring early, which I had hoped to do, is going to be tough, if not impossible.

Don't get me wrong. The trade offs are worth it. I'd rather have 2 young kids at 48 than have no kids at all. But both DW and I would prefer to have had them younger.

I would advise my kids to have their own children between age 27 and 35 if they can, and if they have found someone they love and are committed to. I think you want the nest to empty by your mid-50s if you can. That also would make it more likely that they have meaningful relationships with their eventual grandchildren, should they have any. Me, I just hope to be hanging on long enough to see my kids have kids.

Good luck OP!

I didn't read the whole thread, but your comment stuck out to me and I just want to say thank you for sharing the most honest words here. As a 32 year old female in a committed relationship on the brink of engagement, wedding, buying a home, and establishing full time placement at work this was a real eye opening feedback. We know we want kids but we thought we would wait til 35-36 to be more financially stable, but we have been discussing the possibility of having kids sooner and buying a starter home as opposed to a forever home now. This makes a lot more sense to us considering we want 1-2 kids. It really depends how it goes with 1 and if I'm up for #2 within 2 year period. I want to finish having kids by 36.

SORRY - I'm the 11:18 PP, and the immediate PP, and I messed up trying to quote a PP and respond. (Got the text all out of order.) Trying again......

I'm the PP. Thanks for the kind words. Glad you found my feedback helpful.

Regarding starter homes vs. forever homes, DW and I bought a 3BR house when we still had just the one child, and didn't know if we would have another. After no. 2 came along we really regretted not stretching to get a 4BR. We plan to move up to a bigger house eventually, but the transaction costs are not insignificant. Consider renting in the neighborhood you think you'd like to buy in until you know how big a house you'll eventually want to have. That may also allow you to save more as well. For us, it would have made sense to wait and go for the forever home. As it stands, we may not end up in our forever home until I'm in my 50s -- but we probably could have been in one by now if we hadn't bought the starter home (and sunk some money into renovations).

Everybody is different, of course (you all are younger, for one thing), so think about it and do what's right for you. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A DH here, who is 48. DW and I have a 6-year-old and a 3-year-old. DW is 42.

We're so glad to have these wonderful children, but we both wish we had met sooner and had the kids sooner. The forties are a tough decade on the body -- easier to gain weight, less energy in general -- and having young kids during that time only compounds the effect.

Moreover, both of us work full-time and, after spending two decades building our careers, we have found that the demands of raising young children has been a career-staller, if not a career-killer. We're both treading water at work, hoping to make it to a time when the kids are more independent and less labor- and time-intensive. And the careers are stalled despite the realization that I'll be in my 60s when the kids are in college, if all goes according to plan. So retiring early, which I had hoped to do, is going to be tough, if not impossible.

Don't get me wrong. The trade offs are worth it. I'd rather have 2 young kids at 48 than have no kids at all. But both DW and I would prefer to have had them younger.

I would advise my kids to have their own children between age 27 and 35 if they can, and if they have found someone they love and are committed to. I think you want the nest to empty by your mid-50s if you can. That also would make it more likely that they have meaningful relationships with their eventual grandchildren, should they have any. Me, I just hope to be hanging on long enough to see my kids have kids.

Good luck OP!

I didn't read the whole thread, but your comment stuck out to me and I just want to say thank you for sharing the most honest words here. As a 32 year old female in a committed relationship on the brink of engagement, wedding, buying a home, and establishing full time placement at work this was a real eye opening feedback. We know we want kids but we thought we would wait til 35-36 to be more financially stable, but we have been discussing the possibility of having kids sooner and buying a starter home as opposed to a forever home now. This makes a lot more sense to us considering we want 1-2 kids. It really depends how it goes with 1 and if I'm up for #2 within 2 year period. I want to finish having kids by 36.

SORRY - I'm the 11:18 PP, and the immediate PP, and I messed up trying to quote a PP and respond. (Got the text all out of order.) Trying again......

I'm the PP. Thanks for the kind words. Glad you found my feedback helpful.

Regarding starter homes vs. forever homes, DW and I bought a 3BR house when we still had just the one child, and didn't know if we would have another. After no. 2 came along we really regretted not stretching to get a 4BR. We plan to move up to a bigger house eventually, but the transaction costs are not insignificant. Consider renting in the neighborhood you think you'd like to buy in until you know how big a house you'll eventually want to have. That may also allow you to save more as well. For us, it would have made sense to wait and go for the forever home. As it stands, we may not end up in our forever home until I'm in my 50s -- but we probably could have been in one by now if we hadn't bought the starter home (and sunk some money into renovations).

Everybody is different, of course (you all are younger, for one thing), so think about it and do what's right for you. Good luck!

Horrible advice, never put off having kids if you are otherwise ready for relatively trivial reasons like whether to buy a 3 or 4 bedroom house. Your prime fertility lasts such a short time, if you are emotionally ready to have kids, go ahead.

[Anonymous]

Can you say more about being "emotionally ready" to have kids?

I have always thought having a healthy marriage, a home to call our own, and being financially sound to have children is the responsible thing to do.

This is the PP who thanked the male PP for sharing this experience.

To the male PP, the decision of getting your starter home was it simply to own a home and not pay rent, or did you ever believe that the home might be enough for your family's future needs (before #2 came along)?

I want to be a SAHM while the baby is young (and to save on child care costs) while my SO makes just over 100. We are looking further outside of the immediate metro area to buy a home but very much torn between staying within commuting distance for his work and having a townhome or going for remote working and having a single fam home.

Decisions, decisions. Not an easy time!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you say more about being "emotionally ready" to have kids?

I have always thought having a healthy marriage, a home to call our own, and being financially sound to have children is the responsible thing to do.

This is the PP who thanked the male PP for sharing this experience.

To the male PP, the decision of getting your starter home was it simply to own a home and not pay rent, or did you ever believe that the home might be enough for your family's future needs (before #2 came along)?

I want to be a SAHM while the baby is young (and to save on child care costs) while my SO makes just over 100. We are looking further outside of the immediate metro area to buy a home but very much torn between staying within commuting distance for his work and having a townhome or going for remote working and having a single fam home.

Decisions, decisions. Not an easy time!

If you are over 30, happily married and know you want to have kids, start now. Fertility issues are no joke. Spend some time on the infertility boards if you want to know the cons of waiting or believing it's easy to get pregnant in your late thirties or later. Yes, infertility can happen at any age, but bigger issue after 35. If you want more than one kid, you don't have much of a window. You can always rent a house or have kids share a room. Once your fertility is gone,,it isn't' coming back.