Deciding to have kids later- do you regret/ are you happy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also had mine at 36 and 39. What I notice are the friends who had theirs younger and are now in a position to retire. Meanwhile, I have 12 years to go until the little one is out of college. I feel like I would like to do something different, but I can't. I make a really good living, but it is a high stress life. I am also going through a divorce (STBXH also does well, so we share custody and expenses). The divorce may color my view of things and the feeling of exhaustion. If your marriage is really solid and you are set financially, you may have a different experience. Sometimes I think, with the very analytical part of my brain, that it would have been easier (though it wouldn't have saved the marriage) if we stopped at one as planned. #2 was an oops, although I have to tell you she has brought more joy than I could have imagined to my life. That observation comes from a different part of my brain and from my heart.

+1 to all of this minus the divorce part. I am 55 and DH is 60 and we have two kids, 18 and 15. The15yo, a freshman in high school, will be dependent on us for 8 more years. DH will work for as long as he can, as will I, but I am tired of what I do and would love to dabble in something fun. With college on the horizon, that is not an option.

This is defenetly something that people don't consider when they choose to wait. I am 46 and my child graduated from the law school and been working and fully supporting himself for a year now. I am so glad that all the money I make now, all the free time I have I can spend the way I want.

PP here. It is all about tradeoffs. An empty nest at 50 is certainly appealing, but OTOH I spent my 20s and early 30s living abroad and having all kinds of adventures and experiences, and would not trade that for the world.

It is a drag sometimes not to be able to live for myself now. But I lived for myself for a very long time in young adulthood, which people who became parents at a young age did not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also had mine at 36 and 39. What I notice are the friends who had theirs younger and are now in a position to retire. Meanwhile, I have 12 years to go until the little one is out of college. I feel like I would like to do something different, but I can't. I make a really good living, but it is a high stress life. I am also going through a divorce (STBXH also does well, so we share custody and expenses). The divorce may color my view of things and the feeling of exhaustion. If your marriage is really solid and you are set financially, you may have a different experience. Sometimes I think, with the very analytical part of my brain, that it would have been easier (though it wouldn't have saved the marriage) if we stopped at one as planned. #2 was an oops, although I have to tell you she has brought more joy than I could have imagined to my life. That observation comes from a different part of my brain and from my heart.

+1 to all of this minus the divorce part. I am 55 and DH is 60 and we have two kids, 18 and 15. The15yo, a freshman in high school, will be dependent on us for 8 more years. DH will work for as long as he can, as will I, but I am tired of what I do and would love to dabble in something fun. With college on the horizon, that is not an option.

This is defenetly something that people don't consider when they choose to wait. I am 46 and my child graduated from the law school and been working and fully supporting himself for a year now. I am so glad that all the money I make now, all the free time I have I can spend the way I want.

PP here. It is all about tradeoffs. An empty nest at 50 is certainly appealing, but OTOH I spent my 20s and early 30s living abroad and having all kinds of adventures and experiences, and would not trade that for the world.

It is a drag sometimes not to be able to live for myself now. But I lived for myself for a very long time in young adulthood, which people who became parents at a young age did not.

Let's get real here. Traveling at 46 is wayyyy better than traveling at 28. You have more money and you spend your time more wisely.

I'm not the poster you are responding to, but preschoolers at 46? That sounds like a hellish way to spend middle age. Collecting social security and paying college? Yea. No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also had mine at 36 and 39. What I notice are the friends who had theirs younger and are now in a position to retire. Meanwhile, I have 12 years to go until the little one is out of college. I feel like I would like to do something different, but I can't. I make a really good living, but it is a high stress life. I am also going through a divorce (STBXH also does well, so we share custody and expenses). The divorce may color my view of things and the feeling of exhaustion. If your marriage is really solid and you are set financially, you may have a different experience. Sometimes I think, with the very analytical part of my brain, that it would have been easier (though it wouldn't have saved the marriage) if we stopped at one as planned. #2 was an oops, although I have to tell you she has brought more joy than I could have imagined to my life. That observation comes from a different part of my brain and from my heart.

+1 to all of this minus the divorce part. I am 55 and DH is 60 and we have two kids, 18 and 15. The15yo, a freshman in high school, will be dependent on us for 8 more years. DH will work for as long as he can, as will I, but I am tired of what I do and would love to dabble in something fun. With college on the horizon, that is not an option.

This is defenetly something that people don't consider when they choose to wait. I am 46 and my child graduated from the law school and been working and fully supporting himself for a year now. I am so glad that all the money I make now, all the free time I have I can spend the way I want.

PP here. It is all about tradeoffs. An empty nest at 50 is certainly appealing, but OTOH I spent my 20s and early 30s living abroad and having all kinds of adventures and experiences, and would not trade that for the world.

It is a drag sometimes not to be able to live for myself now. But I lived for myself for a very long time in young adulthood, which people who became parents at a young age did not.

Let's get real here. Traveling at 46 is wayyyy better than traveling at 28. You have more money and you spend your time more wisely.

I'm not the poster you are responding to, but preschoolers at 46? That sounds like a hellish way to spend middle age. Collecting social security and paying college? Yea. No.

Are you joking? Also who has an empty nest at 46? Only if you're white trash and then your idea of fun is probably going to Walmart. And you probably have great grandkidS.

But really the reason I'd rather be in my 20s or 30s and having fun is because there are a lot of other people doing it. Good luck finding a group of friends at 46 who want to go long trips to Europe, dine out at top restaurants and stay out late. You better hope you like spending time with your spouse because that's who you'll be hanging out with. Most other educated couples will have already done all of those things and will be focused on kids and maybe second homes. Not going to Ibiza.

[Anonymous]

I'm 46 with a five-year old; DH is 49. I started to say no regrets but I think we would have had a second if we'd started earlier. Between the physical exhaustion of working parenthood and financial strain of the first three years, I just didn't think my marriage would survive another child.

On the one hand, I feel we're better off as wiser, wealthier parents. On the other, I felt every day of the early years was a reminder of why parenting is for the young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also had mine at 36 and 39. What I notice are the friends who had theirs younger and are now in a position to retire. Meanwhile, I have 12 years to go until the little one is out of college. I feel like I would like to do something different, but I can't. I make a really good living, but it is a high stress life. I am also going through a divorce (STBXH also does well, so we share custody and expenses). The divorce may color my view of things and the feeling of exhaustion. If your marriage is really solid and you are set financially, you may have a different experience. Sometimes I think, with the very analytical part of my brain, that it would have been easier (though it wouldn't have saved the marriage) if we stopped at one as planned. #2 was an oops, although I have to tell you she has brought more joy than I could have imagined to my life. That observation comes from a different part of my brain and from my heart.

+1 to all of this minus the divorce part. I am 55 and DH is 60 and we have two kids, 18 and 15. The15yo, a freshman in high school, will be dependent on us for 8 more years. DH will work for as long as he can, as will I, but I am tired of what I do and would love to dabble in something fun. With college on the horizon, that is not an option.

This is defenetly something that people don't consider when they choose to wait. I am 46 and my child graduated from the law school and been working and fully supporting himself for a year now. I am so glad that all the money I make now, all the free time I have I can spend the way I want.

We had our last child in our later 30's (36 me, 38 dh). At this point we are in our early 50's with 2 teenagers. Dh and I can absolutely go out and have fun now - the kids are plenty mature and responsible enough to stay at home in the evenings by themselves.

And we truly enjoy having our kids home now. I actually am glad that we don't have an empty nest, yet.

Going out and have fun is one thing. However, you still limiting yourself in big expenses because you have college tuitions ahead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also had mine at 36 and 39. What I notice are the friends who had theirs younger and are now in a position to retire. Meanwhile, I have 12 years to go until the little one is out of college. I feel like I would like to do something different, but I can't. I make a really good living, but it is a high stress life. I am also going through a divorce (STBXH also does well, so we share custody and expenses). The divorce may color my view of things and the feeling of exhaustion. If your marriage is really solid and you are set financially, you may have a different experience. Sometimes I think, with the very analytical part of my brain, that it would have been easier (though it wouldn't have saved the marriage) if we stopped at one as planned. #2 was an oops, although I have to tell you she has brought more joy than I could have imagined to my life. That observation comes from a different part of my brain and from my heart.

+1 to all of this minus the divorce part. I am 55 and DH is 60 and we have two kids, 18 and 15. The15yo, a freshman in high school, will be dependent on us for 8 more years. DH will work for as long as he can, as will I, but I am tired of what I do and would love to dabble in something fun. With college on the horizon, that is not an option.

This is defenetly something that people don't consider when they choose to wait. I am 46 and my child graduated from the law school and been working and fully supporting himself for a year now. I am so glad that all the money I make now, all the free time I have I can spend the way I want.

PP here. It is all about tradeoffs. An empty nest at 50 is certainly appealing, but OTOH I spent my 20s and early 30s living abroad and having all kinds of adventures and experiences, and would not trade that for the world.

It is a drag sometimes not to be able to live for myself now. But I lived for myself for a very long time in young adulthood, which people who became parents at a young age did not.

Let's get real here. Traveling at 46 is wayyyy better than traveling at 28. You have more money and you spend your time more wisely.

I'm not the poster you are responding to, but preschoolers at 46? That sounds like a hellish way to spend middle age. Collecting social security and paying college? Yea. No.

Who said anything about traveling? I ***lived abroad***. I worked and lived in Europe, became fluent in a second (and third) language. I learned a lot about the world and myself. All things that were important to me at the time and remain important to me as they contributed to who I am today.

I had preschoolers in my 30s and early 40s. Not at 46. But for people who want to do that? I think it's fine.

It's all about tradeoffs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also had mine at 36 and 39. What I notice are the friends who had theirs younger and are now in a position to retire. Meanwhile, I have 12 years to go until the little one is out of college. I feel like I would like to do something different, but I can't. I make a really good living, but it is a high stress life. I am also going through a divorce (STBXH also does well, so we share custody and expenses). The divorce may color my view of things and the feeling of exhaustion. If your marriage is really solid and you are set financially, you may have a different experience. Sometimes I think, with the very analytical part of my brain, that it would have been easier (though it wouldn't have saved the marriage) if we stopped at one as planned. #2 was an oops, although I have to tell you she has brought more joy than I could have imagined to my life. That observation comes from a different part of my brain and from my heart.

+1 to all of this minus the divorce part. I am 55 and DH is 60 and we have two kids, 18 and 15. The15yo, a freshman in high school, will be dependent on us for 8 more years. DH will work for as long as he can, as will I, but I am tired of what I do and would love to dabble in something fun. With college on the horizon, that is not an option.

This is defenetly something that people don't consider when they choose to wait. I am 46 and my child graduated from the law school and been working and fully supporting himself for a year now. I am so glad that all the money I make now, all the free time I have I can spend the way I want.

PP here. It is all about tradeoffs. An empty nest at 50 is certainly appealing, but OTOH I spent my 20s and early 30s living abroad and having all kinds of adventures and experiences, and would not trade that for the world.

It is a drag sometimes not to be able to live for myself now. But I lived for myself for a very long time in young adulthood, which people who became parents at a young age did not.

Let's get real here. Traveling at 46 is wayyyy better than traveling at 28. You have more money and you spend your time more wisely.

I'm not the poster you are responding to, but preschoolers at 46? That sounds like a hellish way to spend middle age. Collecting social security and paying college? Yea. No.

Are you joking? Also who has an empty nest at 46? Only if you're white trash and then your idea of fun is probably going to Walmart. And you probably have great grandkidS.

But really the reason I'd rather be in my 20s or 30s and having fun is because there are a lot of other people doing it. Good luck finding a group of friends at 46 who want to go long trips to Europe, dine out at top restaurants and stay out late. You better hope you like spending time with your spouse because that's who you'll be hanging out with. Most other educated couples will have already done all of those things and will be focused on kids and maybe second homes. Not going to Ibiza.

I don't know what your definition of white trash, but I do have two graduate degrees and I can afford to shop in London, Milan or Dubai. No grandkids yet, but would love to have them before 50. While you maybe focusing on a second home, I already have several real estates in U.S. and abroad. See, you have to balance between a child care expenses, college tuition and second home mortgage, while I can invest without worrying about those things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also had mine at 36 and 39. What I notice are the friends who had theirs younger and are now in a position to retire. Meanwhile, I have 12 years to go until the little one is out of college. I feel like I would like to do something different, but I can't. I make a really good living, but it is a high stress life. I am also going through a divorce (STBXH also does well, so we share custody and expenses). The divorce may color my view of things and the feeling of exhaustion. If your marriage is really solid and you are set financially, you may have a different experience. Sometimes I think, with the very analytical part of my brain, that it would have been easier (though it wouldn't have saved the marriage) if we stopped at one as planned. #2 was an oops, although I have to tell you she has brought more joy than I could have imagined to my life. That observation comes from a different part of my brain and from my heart.

+1 to all of this minus the divorce part. I am 55 and DH is 60 and we have two kids, 18 and 15. The15yo, a freshman in high school, will be dependent on us for 8 more years. DH will work for as long as he can, as will I, but I am tired of what I do and would love to dabble in something fun. With college on the horizon, that is not an option.

This is defenetly something that people don't consider when they choose to wait. I am 46 and my child graduated from the law school and been working and fully supporting himself for a year now. I am so glad that all the money I make now, all the free time I have I can spend the way I want.

Your lifestyle is right for you. Someone who had kids later is making things work their own way. Live your life and keep the judgement to yourself.

PP here. It is all about tradeoffs. An empty nest at 50 is certainly appealing, but OTOH I spent my 20s and early 30s living abroad and having all kinds of adventures and experiences, and would not trade that for the world.

It is a drag sometimes not to be able to live for myself now. But I lived for myself for a very long time in young adulthood, which people who became parents at a young age did not.

Let's get real here. Traveling at 46 is wayyyy better than traveling at 28. You have more money and you spend your time more wisely.

I'm not the poster you are responding to, but preschoolers at 46? That sounds like a hellish way to spend middle age. Collecting social security and paying college? Yea. No.

Are you joking? Also who has an empty nest at 46? Only if you're white trash and then your idea of fun is probably going to Walmart. And you probably have great grandkidS.

But really the reason I'd rather be in my 20s or 30s and having fun is because there are a lot of other people doing it. Good luck finding a group of friends at 46 who want to go long trips to Europe, dine out at top restaurants and stay out late. You better hope you like spending time with your spouse because that's who you'll be hanging out with. Most other educated couples will have already done all of those things and will be focused on kids and maybe second homes. Not going to Ibiza.

I don't know what your definition of white trash, but I do have two graduate degrees and I can afford to shop in London, Milan or Dubai. No grandkids yet, but would love to have them before 50. While you maybe focusing on a second home, I already have several real estates in U.S. and abroad. See, you have to balance between a child care expenses, college tuition and second home mortgage, while I can invest without worrying about those things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also had mine at 36 and 39. What I notice are the friends who had theirs younger and are now in a position to retire. Meanwhile, I have 12 years to go until the little one is out of college. I feel like I would like to do something different, but I can't. I make a really good living, but it is a high stress life. I am also going through a divorce (STBXH also does well, so we share custody and expenses). The divorce may color my view of things and the feeling of exhaustion. If your marriage is really solid and you are set financially, you may have a different experience. Sometimes I think, with the very analytical part of my brain, that it would have been easier (though it wouldn't have saved the marriage) if we stopped at one as planned. #2 was an oops, although I have to tell you she has brought more joy than I could have imagined to my life. That observation comes from a different part of my brain and from my heart.

+1 to all of this minus the divorce part. I am 55 and DH is 60 and we have two kids, 18 and 15. The15yo, a freshman in high school, will be dependent on us for 8 more years. DH will work for as long as he can, as will I, but I am tired of what I do and would love to dabble in something fun. With college on the horizon, that is not an option.

This is defenetly something that people don't consider when they choose to wait. I am 46 and my child graduated from the law school and been working and fully supporting himself for a year now. I am so glad that all the money I make now, all the free time I have I can spend the way I want.

PP here. It is all about tradeoffs. An empty nest at 50 is certainly appealing, but OTOH I spent my 20s and early 30s living abroad and having all kinds of adventures and experiences, and would not trade that for the world.

It is a drag sometimes not to be able to live for myself now. But I lived for myself for a very long time in young adulthood, which people who became parents at a young age did not.

Let's get real here. Traveling at 46 is wayyyy better than traveling at 28. You have more money and you spend your time more wisely.

I'm not the poster you are responding to, but preschoolers at 46? That sounds like a hellish way to spend middle age. Collecting social security and paying college? Yea. No.

Are you joking? Also who has an empty nest at 46? Only if you're white trash and then your idea of fun is probably going to Walmart. And you probably have great grandkidS.

But really the reason I'd rather be in my 20s or 30s and having fun is because there are a lot of other people doing it. Good luck finding a group of friends at 46 who want to go long trips to Europe, dine out at top restaurants and stay out late. You better hope you like spending time with your spouse because that's who you'll be hanging out with. Most other educated couples will have already done all of those things and will be focused on kids and maybe second homes. Not going to Ibiza.

I don't know what your definition of white trash, but I do have two graduate degrees and I can afford to shop in London, Milan or Dubai. No grandkids yet, but would love to have them before 50. While you maybe focusing on a second home, I already have several real estates in U.S. and abroad. See, you have to balance between a child care expenses, college tuition and second home mortgage, while I can invest without worrying about those things.

I can also invest without worrying about those things because I don't have kids nor do I plan on having them. I also own multiple properties. funny you own several "real estates"

[Anonymous]

Regardless of when you have kids you have to pay for childcare, college, mortgage etc. People who had kids younger act like they never had to pay for these things.

The question it me is it easier to pay for this stuff now that our hhi is almost 400k? Or would it have been easier at 25 with a hhi of 70k?

One advantage I can think of for having kids younger would be that you're paying for childcare instead of spending money on yourself. But boy did I have fun in my 20s living in New York. I really wouldn't trade that for childcare expenses and a spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also had mine at 36 and 39. What I notice are the friends who had theirs younger and are now in a position to retire. Meanwhile, I have 12 years to go until the little one is out of college. I feel like I would like to do something different, but I can't. I make a really good living, but it is a high stress life. I am also going through a divorce (STBXH also does well, so we share custody and expenses). The divorce may color my view of things and the feeling of exhaustion. If your marriage is really solid and you are set financially, you may have a different experience. Sometimes I think, with the very analytical part of my brain, that it would have been easier (though it wouldn't have saved the marriage) if we stopped at one as planned. #2 was an oops, although I have to tell you she has brought more joy than I could have imagined to my life. That observation comes from a different part of my brain and from my heart.

+1 to all of this minus the divorce part. I am 55 and DH is 60 and we have two kids, 18 and 15. The15yo, a freshman in high school, will be dependent on us for 8 more years. DH will work for as long as he can, as will I, but I am tired of what I do and would love to dabble in something fun. With college on the horizon, that is not an option.

This is defenetly something that people don't consider when they choose to wait. I am 46 and my child graduated from the law school and been working and fully supporting himself for a year now. I am so glad that all the money I make now, all the free time I have I can spend the way I want.

Your lifestyle is right for you. Someone who had kids later is making things work their own way. Live your life and keep the judgement to yourself.

PP here. It is all about tradeoffs. An empty nest at 50 is certainly appealing, but OTOH I spent my 20s and early 30s living abroad and having all kinds of adventures and experiences, and would not trade that for the world.

It is a drag sometimes not to be able to live for myself now. But I lived for myself for a very long time in young adulthood, which people who became parents at a young age did not.

Let's get real here. Traveling at 46 is wayyyy better than traveling at 28. You have more money and you spend your time more wisely.

I'm not the poster you are responding to, but preschoolers at 46? That sounds like a hellish way to spend middle age. Collecting social security and paying college? Yea. No.

Are you joking? Also who has an empty nest at 46? Only if you're white trash and then your idea of fun is probably going to Walmart. And you probably have great grandkidS.

But really the reason I'd rather be in my 20s or 30s and having fun is because there are a lot of other people doing it. Good luck finding a group of friends at 46 who want to go long trips to Europe, dine out at top restaurants and stay out late. You better hope you like spending time with your spouse because that's who you'll be hanging out with. Most other educated couples will have already done all of those things and will be focused on kids and maybe second homes. Not going to Ibiza.

I don't know what your definition of white trash, but I do have two graduate degrees and I can afford to shop in London, Milan or Dubai. No grandkids yet, but would love to have them before 50. While you maybe focusing on a second home, I already have several real estates in U.S. and abroad. See, you have to balance between a child care expenses, college tuition and second home mortgage, while I can invest without worrying about those things.

I just came back from Dubai a few weeks ago, I'm 44 and brought my 6 year old. Where do you stay?

[Anonymous]

A 40, you can't go back in time and have a baby any younger. No one is going to admit or acknowledge or even entertain the thought that having a baby in your 40s is a regret. No one out of guilt will admit they regret having their chidren.

I am 46, a woman, and I have no chidren and no regrets. However, my BF is a single dad, two years younger than I, and he has an elementary aged son. The boy is a joy! I hope that I will be a part of his life.

[Anonymous]

As an aside, what is up with all of you who want to spend your money in Dubai? Or take a child to Dubai? Why don't you go to Main Street in small town USA, and teach your child how to support Americans. You couldn't pay me a million flying figs to visit some of these countries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also had mine at 36 and 39. What I notice are the friends who had theirs younger and are now in a position to retire. Meanwhile, I have 12 years to go until the little one is out of college. I feel like I would like to do something different, but I can't. I make a really good living, but it is a high stress life. I am also going through a divorce (STBXH also does well, so we share custody and expenses). The divorce may color my view of things and the feeling of exhaustion. If your marriage is really solid and you are set financially, you may have a different experience. Sometimes I think, with the very analytical part of my brain, that it would have been easier (though it wouldn't have saved the marriage) if we stopped at one as planned. #2 was an oops, although I have to tell you she has brought more joy than I could have imagined to my life. That observation comes from a different part of my brain and from my heart.

+1 to all of this minus the divorce part. I am 55 and DH is 60 and we have two kids, 18 and 15. The15yo, a freshman in high school, will be dependent on us for 8 more years. DH will work for as long as he can, as will I, but I am tired of what I do and would love to dabble in something fun. With college on the horizon, that is not an option.

This is defenetly something that people don't consider when they choose to wait. I am 46 and my child graduated from the law school and been working and fully supporting himself for a year now. I am so glad that all the money I make now, all the free time I have I can spend the way I want.

Your lifestyle is right for you. Someone who had kids later is making things work their own way. Live your life and keep the judgement to yourself.

PP here. It is all about tradeoffs. An empty nest at 50 is certainly appealing, but OTOH I spent my 20s and early 30s living abroad and having all kinds of adventures and experiences, and would not trade that for the world.

It is a drag sometimes not to be able to live for myself now. But I lived for myself for a very long time in young adulthood, which people who became parents at a young age did not.

Let's get real here. Traveling at 46 is wayyyy better than traveling at 28. You have more money and you spend your time more wisely.

I'm not the poster you are responding to, but preschoolers at 46? That sounds like a hellish way to spend middle age. Collecting social security and paying college? Yea. No.

Are you joking? Also who has an empty nest at 46? Only if you're white trash and then your idea of fun is probably going to Walmart. And you probably have great grandkidS.

But really the reason I'd rather be in my 20s or 30s and having fun is because there are a lot of other people doing it. Good luck finding a group of friends at 46 who want to go long trips to Europe, dine out at top restaurants and stay out late. You better hope you like spending time with your spouse because that's who you'll be hanging out with. Most other educated couples will have already done all of those things and will be focused on kids and maybe second homes. Not going to Ibiza.

I don't know what your definition of white trash, but I do have two graduate degrees and I can afford to shop in London, Milan or Dubai. No grandkids yet, but would love to have them before 50. While you maybe focusing on a second home, I already have several real estates in U.S. and abroad. See, you have to balance between a child care expenses, college tuition and second home mortgage, while I can invest without worrying about those things.

I just came back from Dubai a few weeks ago, I'm 44 and brought my 6 year old. Where do you stay?

Dubai? Lol! My boys love camping more than anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A 40, you can't go back in time and have a baby any younger. No one is going to admit or acknowledge or even entertain the thought that having a baby in your 40s is a regret. No one out of guilt will admit they regret having their chidren.

I am 46, a woman, and I have no chidren and no regrets. However, my BF is a single dad, two years younger than I, and he has an elementary aged son. The boy is a joy! I hope that I will be a part of his life.

I'm willing to fully disclose I wish I had had them in my 20s, but I agree with you.