Reply to Deciding to have kids later- do you regret/ are you happy?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Deciding to have kids later- do you regret/ are you happy? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Hi OP.  Here's my two cents, for whatever it's worth.  Heart trumps head for this kind of decision (assuming you have all the resources etc...)

I had my twins in my mid-40's.  Never felt the burning biological clock, didn't meet a man I could fathom marrying and parenting with until I was 40.  Spent a couple of years trying desperately to get preganant and only succeeded w/ donor eggs.  I'm now pushing 50 with preschoolers and I don't regret it.  Usually.  :-)

I am always tired, and I struggle with mommy/wife/career guilt on every level.

I have a level of laughter and love in my life that I would miss terribly now.

I had a healthy pregnancy, healthy babies, and an easy recovery from c-section.  Physically I don't think my experience was any worse as a result of my age (other than not having my own eggs of course - which was definitely age.)

I am an infinitely calmer, more patient, less reactive parent than I would have been 10 or 20 years ago.  My kids absolutely benefit from my maturity.

I don't spend a lot of time feeling like a horrible outlier because of my age - but I do make sure to keep up with dying my hair regularly.  :-)

In a perfect world I would have met my husband when I was 30, spent 5-6 years travelling the world with him, and have had my kids (one at a time) in my late 30's.  But life isn't perfect.  I've made the best choices possible at any given time, being as true to my heart as I could and trying to live a life that I wouldn't regret when I look back.

The kids are a huge part of that.  It isn't easy to be a parent - period.  There are challenges and hurdles no matter the age, economics, marital status, career/family realities, etc...   We all face struggles with parenting.

But if you and your husband want kids, have a stable loving relationship, can afford the costs, are secure in your careers (or any decisions you might want to make about jobs/childcare), and think that being parents is something you want to do then go for it.

Trust your hearts.  Trust each other.  Trust the human machine that builds us to do this.

You'll be great.

Good luck!
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics