Reply to Deciding to have kids later- do you regret/ are you happy?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A DH here, who is 48. DW and I have a 6-year-old and a 3-year-old. DW is 42.

We're so glad to have these wonderful children, but we both wish we had met sooner and had the kids sooner. The forties are a tough decade on the body -- easier to gain weight, less energy in general -- and having young kids during that time only compounds the effect.

Moreover, both of us work full-time and, after spending two decades building our careers, we have found that the demands of raising young children has been a career-staller, if not a career-killer. We're both treading water at work, hoping to make it to a time when the kids are more independent and less labor- and time-intensive. And the careers are stalled despite the realization that I'll be in my 60s when the kids are in college, if all goes according to plan. So retiring early, which I had hoped to do, is going to be tough, if not impossible.

Don't get me wrong. The trade offs are worth it. I'd rather have 2 young kids at 48 than have no kids at all. But both DW and I would prefer to have had them younger.

I would advise my kids to have their own children between age 27 and 35 if they can, and if they have found someone they love and are committed to. I think you want the nest to empty by your mid-50s if you can. That also would make it more likely that they have meaningful relationships with their eventual grandchildren, should they have any. Me, I just hope to be hanging on long enough to see my kids have kids.

Good luck OP![/quote]

I didn't read the whole thread, but your comment stuck out to me and I just want to say thank you for sharing the most honest words here. As a 32 year old female in a committed relationship on the brink of engagement, wedding, buying a home, and establishing full time placement at work this was a real eye opening feedback. We know we want kids but we thought we would wait til 35-36 to be more financially stable, but we have been discussing the possibility of having kids sooner and buying a starter home as opposed to a forever home now. This makes a lot more sense to us considering we want 1-2 kids. It really depends how it goes with 1 and if I'm up for #2 within 2 year period. I want to finish having kids by 36. [/quote]

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