Would you view this to be a breach of trust?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Still waiting for your explanation, OP.

Me too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Still waiting for your explanation, OP.

Me too

Same here. OP is either a troll who got bored or his wife murdered him with a frying pan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Still waiting for your explanation, OP.

Me too

Same here. OP is either a troll who got bored or his wife murdered him with a frying pan.

Not murdered ....... yet. There appears to be a way around this though I am sure most on this forum would disapprove.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this were a donation for a relative, where the genetic connection mattered, that would be one thing. But your friend has many choices available to her. There are dozens of sperm banks she could go to. She's choosing you to father a child, which honestly, as your wife, I would not be okay with. At all. And if I found out you did it behind my back, it would irreparably damage our marriage, if not outright end it.

You don't know that this woman has "many choices available to her." This comes from a lesbian who is in a same sex marriage - and we used a known donor. It is not a decision that is arrived at simply or easily, and you'd be surprised at how narrow the pool of known donors can become.

That said, I think this would be a breach of trust if you went behind your wife's back. Unless you guys can reach an agreement on this, don't do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this were a donation for a relative, where the genetic connection mattered, that would be one thing. But your friend has many choices available to her. There are dozens of sperm banks she could go to. She's choosing you to father a child, which honestly, as your wife, I would not be okay with. At all. And if I found out you did it behind my back, it would irreparably damage our marriage, if not outright end it.

You don't know that this woman has "many choices available to her." This comes from a lesbian who is in a same sex marriage - and we used a known donor. It is not a decision that is arrived at simply or easily, and you'd be surprised at how narrow the pool of known donors can become.

That said, I think this would be a breach of trust if you went behind your wife's back. Unless you guys can reach an agreement on this, don't do it.

Thank you. Someone who has an actual understanding of the realities facing a lesbian who needs a donor.

[Anonymous]

The only reality that matters here is the reality of your wife's feelings. You either convince her to get on board, drop the idea, or prepare for a huge shitstorm when she finds out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Still waiting for your explanation, OP.

I am now in a position to offer the promised explanation but it is such a complex set of dynamics that I would prefer to just respond to specific questions. I may not be able to respond to questions that might identify who I am and who the other parties are who are involved in this matter. Questions will be answered though it may not be as promptly as some may wish. If I cannot answer a question I will say so.

I am not looking to persuade anyone that the course of action I am following is the right one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Still waiting for your explanation, OP.

I am now in a position to offer the promised explanation but it is such a complex set of dynamics that I would prefer to just respond to specific questions. I may not be able to respond to questions that might identify who I am and who the other parties are who are involved in this matter. Questions will be answered though it may not be as promptly as some may wish. If I cannot answer a question I will say so.

I am not looking to persuade anyone that the course of action I am following is the right one.

Ugh, this is annoying, OP. How about you just tell us whether you are going to remain married and whether you are ponying up the sperm with your wife's knowledge.

Also, you never explained why it is so important that your friend have your exact sperm. Can you explain that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Still waiting for your explanation, OP.

I am now in a position to offer the promised explanation but it is such a complex set of dynamics that I would prefer to just respond to specific questions. I may not be able to respond to questions that might identify who I am and who the other parties are who are involved in this matter. Questions will be answered though it may not be as promptly as some may wish. If I cannot answer a question I will say so.

I am not looking to persuade anyone that the course of action I am following is the right one.

Ugh, this is annoying, OP. How about you just tell us whether you are going to remain married and whether you are ponying up the sperm with your wife's knowledge.

Also, you never explained why it is so important that your friend have your exact sperm. Can you explain that?

My friend was an organ donor and responsible for saving my life. This was a while ago. In the course of our friendship I asked what I could do to repay her for what she did for me. About a year later she asked me if I would donate my sperm if she needed it and I agreed to do so. Nothing unique about my sperm other than the fact that it was a promise made. It will be done with or without my wife's consent.

[Anonymous]

"My friend was an organ donor and responsible for saving my life. This was a while ago. In the course of our friendship I asked what I could do to repay her for what she did for me. About a year later she asked me if I would donate my sperm if she needed it and I agreed to do so. Nothing unique about my sperm other than the fact that it was a promise made. It will be done with or without my wife's consent."

Good to know. I am curious though, because you never responded to a previous question - Who is more important to you: this friend or your wife?

Also, have you told your wife yet? If so, can you tell us how she responded?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"My friend was an organ donor and responsible for saving my life. This was a while ago. In the course of our friendship I asked what I could do to repay her for what she did for me. About a year later she asked me if I would donate my sperm if she needed it and I agreed to do so. Nothing unique about my sperm other than the fact that it was a promise made. It will be done with or without my wife's consent."

Good to know. I am curious though, because you never responded to a previous question - Who is more important to you: this friend or your wife?

Also, have you told your wife yet? If so, can you tell us how she responded?

I don't know how to answer your first question. One person saved my life and we are still very close. The other person is someone who is my partner, hopefully for life. I would not be with my wife if it were not for the generosity of my friend because I would likely be dead.

Regarding your second question: someone is working with me to address this issue with my wife. It may or may not succeed.

[Anonymous]

Thank god my husband had a vasectomy. Bitches be trippin.

[Anonymous]

OP, you might as well just sleep with her and get her pregnant. The end result to your marriage will be the same. Plus, you will have more fun that way.

[Anonymous]

In your original post, you said that your wife doesn't know about this woman.

Why wouldn't your wife know about a person who donated an organ to you, who you credit with saving your life, and are still in contact with? That seems like a pretty heavy topic that a spouse would/should know about. I don't get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In your original post, you said that your wife doesn't know about this woman.

Why wouldn't your wife know about a person who donated an organ to you, who you credit with saving your life, and are still in contact with? That seems like a pretty heavy topic that a spouse would/should know about. I don't get it.

I am sorry but the phrasing in my OP was not sufficiently precise. She has never met or spoken to my friend. She obviously does know that my life was saved through an organ transplant from this friend. My wife also knows that my friend is a lesbian and we are in touch with each other. She is ambivalent about our relationship partly because we are close and also, given her conservative family background, I suspect it has to do with her being gay.

Any other questions I will respond tomorrow.