Public School Teacher's Resentment Toward DS for Going to Private High School?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would she care that he's going to a private school? He's in 8th grade and would be going to a different school anyway. If she was so dead set against it she would not have written the letter.

Op I believe you. Have son tone it down and keep his head down. If you work with teachers much or volunteer in the schools much you'd be amazed how much jealousy there is.

I've worked with lots of teachers and have been in tons of schools for decades and I'm unaware of this jealousy of which you type.

Is it jealousy of parents/children who go private? Parents who drive nice cars/seem to have money?

I've noticed some immaturity/insecurity towards other teachers but that was more office politics where people try to ass kiss to get ahead or be on the principal's good side. But I've never heard of jealousy towards families. For one, many teachers these days come from pretty good families, many marry well, some are financially independent and/or teach for giggles. To suggest they are jealous of families is ridiculous. Secondly, if they absolutely abhorred private school kids, wealth, etc they could always work in schools and districts with less wealth. Then they'd be looked up to and revered in the community.

But seriously, what type of jealousy do you see in teachers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would she care that he's going to a private school? He's in 8th grade and would be going to a different school anyway. If she was so dead set against it she would not have written the letter.

Op I believe you. Have son tone it down and keep his head down. If you work with teachers much or volunteer in the schools much you'd be amazed how much jealousy there is.

I've worked with lots of teachers and have been in tons of schools for decades and I'm unaware of this jealousy of which you type.

Is it jealousy of parents/children who go private? Parents who drive nice cars/seem to have money?

I've noticed some immaturity/insecurity towards other teachers but that was more office politics where people try to ass kiss to get ahead or be on the principal's good side. But I've never heard of jealousy towards families. For one, many teachers these days come from pretty good families, many marry well, some are financially independent and/or teach for giggles. To suggest they are jealous of families is ridiculous. Secondly, if they absolutely abhorred private school kids, wealth, etc they could always work in schools and districts with less wealth. Then they'd be looked up to and revered in the community.

But seriously, what type of jealousy do you see in teachers?

The word was not jealousy. The word was resentment. Feeling insulted that we chose a chose a school other than the school system in which she teaches. We don't have a large income, nice car or house. We are making a sacrifice to go to private school. The teacher probably drives a nicer car than us lol. The analogy I would use is when an employee leaves to go to a new company. Most coworkers will be happy for him. Some may feel abandoned, resentful, (maybe jealous in this case). In in our case, lots of teachers were proud of him, glad he got two choices. Teachers like him and are interested in his success for the most part. This particular teacher was the exception. The prior post about DH was not from me by the way. But it sounded pretty convincing! But yes, we will have a discussion with the teacher. That was always the case. There may be something we don't know about, and we get to the bottom of it. As parents we do want to know both sides of the story, of course. But if my son's side is completely true, then I would like to understand typical protocol when students need to make up work after an absence. Our experience has always been easy, you get the make up work and see the teacher with questions. It shouldn't matter whether the absence was due to an illness or a shadow visit. Both are considered "excused" and should be treated equally, although I know many of you disagree with this.

I don't know if she resents my son's entry into private high school. This behavior could be totally unrelated I threw the question out there to see if anyone had that experience. Apparently most do not. But regardless, the teacher is still being extremely rigid and unreasonable, and we need to get to the bottom of why.

Thanks to the posters who were concerned and helpful. And to the others, I am sure you had a nice entertaining evening letting off some steam. Just because someone is an A student, doesn't mean he isn't entitled to the same help as a C student. I don't buy that.

[Anonymous]

She's back......

Still has not taken her meds though....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's back......

Still has not taken her meds though....

I am glad you find this to be a source of entertainment. I believe you should be on the meds if you find the need to continue to post on a thread that really does not concern you and that are not constructive in any way. Either way, just wanted to point out inaccuracies of people's comments. Oh, and DS will never be kicked out of any school...he is too smart, well liked, and we will be big donors (parents give lots of money).

That's all folks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wearing the new school sweatshirt to his present school is obnoxious. My child is in 5th grade and if he turns in something late it is marked down one letter grade each day it's late - simply preparing him for high school.

I wouldn't say it's "obnoxious" but it is in bad taste and the teacher may be reacting more out of concern for the other children - who may not be able to afford private school - than directly at your son. And, yes, most teachers do mark things down when late, so she's doing her job. Did your son thank her for the letters? I always have my kids write handwritten letters to teachers to thank them for taking the time to write letters of recommendation.

[Anonymous]

OP: is your DS heading to STA? Because if it's not that (or equivalent) you are over estimating your DS ability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would she care that he's going to a private school? He's in 8th grade and would be going to a different school anyway. If she was so dead set against it she would not have written the letter.

Op I believe you. Have son tone it down and keep his head down. If you work with teachers much or volunteer in the schools much you'd be amazed how much jealousy there is.

Thank you PP. I actually never expected to come across this. But perhaps like others said, it has nothing to do with the private school. It is just that the timing of the problems happened right around the same time. DS is not an aggressive kid. He is actually pretty low key, hard working, and bordering on timid. The only reason I got involved is because while he was doing homework he came to me and told me he didn't understand the new material (which he missed during excused absence) and when I asked him if he tried to get help, he told me she was not available. Most teachers make themselves after school, before school, or during lunch for help. This teacher was not available an any of these times (never after school). For two days he tried to see her before school and during lunch and she sent him away. Heartless? Yes. Resentful? Perhaps.

As for the shirt, hmmm. The kid is proud of his new school. He has a right to wear the shirt. Kids to to bar mitzvahs and wear the shirts the next Monday. Nobody complains about that even though ids feel left out. How is that any different?

OP I believe you also, but I think you have the reasons wrong. The teacher is being mean because he is leaving and there is little you can do in the short time remaining. You also went over her head, so she is going to take it out on him. This happens frequently. I wouldn't advise wearing the shirt.
People are indeed very jealous of parents who go to privates. I won't repeat the things I heard when we told our community (friends and neighbors, church) but they reflected a deep and profound anger at the public school system and a sense of powerlessness to control it. And jealousy that we were leaving it. Some ugly things were said. The other aspect was that people thought that in general we were poor or else struggling financially. Compared to the very wealthy parents at the private, we are not as well off. But we have adequate funds to pay for the tuition, which as you know, is significant. For some reason that really upset some people.
It has been 4 years ago now. It is a better education for my DS. And I have not had one incident like you are having now. Life is much more peaceful in school now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's back......

Still has not taken her meds though....

I am glad you find this to be a source of entertainment. I believe you should be on the meds if you find the need to continue to post on a thread that really does not concern you and that are not constructive in any way. Either way, just wanted to point out inaccuracies of people's comments. Oh, and DS will never be kicked out of any school...he is too smart, well liked, and we will be big donors (parents give lots of money).

That's all folks!

You said that you don't drive a nice car or have a nice house but you will be big donors? Something isn't adding up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's back......

Still has not taken her meds though....

I am glad you find this to be a source of entertainment. I believe you should be on the meds if you find the need to continue to post on a thread that really does not concern you and that are not constructive in any way. Either way, just wanted to point out inaccuracies of people's comments. Oh, and DS will never be kicked out of any school...he is too smart, well liked, and we will be big donors (parents give lots of money).

That's all folks!

You said that you don't drive a nice car or have a nice house but you will be big donors? Something isn't adding up.

My parents will donate...not us. I said parents are big donors...I meant my parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's back......

Still has not taken her meds though....

I am glad you find this to be a source of entertainment. I believe you should be on the meds if you find the need to continue to post on a thread that really does not concern you and that are not constructive in any way. Either way, just wanted to point out inaccuracies of people's comments. Oh, and DS will never be kicked out of any school...he is too smart, well liked, and we will be big donors (parents give lots of money).

That's all folks!

You said that you don't drive a nice car or have a nice house but you will be big donors? Something isn't adding up.

My parents will donate...not us. I said parents are big donors...I meant my parents.

So your DS got in because of $$$, and not necessarily all due to his ability?

Now it's all making sense....It must be STA your son is going to then....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's back......

Still has not taken her meds though....

I am glad you find this to be a source of entertainment. I believe you should be on the meds if you find the need to continue to post on a thread that really does not concern you and that are not constructive in any way. Either way, just wanted to point out inaccuracies of people's comments. Oh, and DS will never be kicked out of any school...he is too smart, well liked, and we will be big donors (parents give lots of money).

That's all folks!

You said that you don't drive a nice car or have a nice house but you will be big donors? Something isn't adding up.

My parents will donate...not us. I said parents are big donors...I meant my parents.

So your DS got in because of $$$, and not necessarily all due to his ability?

Now it's all making sense....It must be STA your son is going to then....

People, this woman is just an insecure troll who loves making up stories. There are too many inconsistencies in her story. If she is a real person, she has some serious psychological issues.

Feed the troll if you want, but realize that you're giving her joy by doing so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's back......

Still has not taken her meds though....

I am glad you find this to be a source of entertainment. I believe you should be on the meds if you find the need to continue to post on a thread that really does not concern you and that are not constructive in any way. Either way, just wanted to point out inaccuracies of people's comments. Oh, and DS will never be kicked out of any school...he is too smart, well liked, and we will be big donors (parents give lots of money).

That's all folks!

You said that you don't drive a nice car or have a nice house but you will be big donors? Something isn't adding up.

My parents will donate...not us. I said parents are big donors...I meant my parents.

So your DS got in because of $$$, and not necessarily all due to his ability?

Now it's all making sense....It must be STA your son is going to then....

People, this woman is just an insecure troll who loves making up stories. There are too many inconsistencies in her story. If she is a real person, she has some serious psychological issues.

Feed the troll if you want, but realize that you're giving her joy by doing so.

You sound insane.

If she's so crazy, why would you engage any part of it?

NP who is NOT OP-or even in agreement with her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would she care that he's going to a private school? He's in 8th grade and would be going to a different school anyway. If she was so dead set against it she would not have written the letter.

Op I believe you. Have son tone it down and keep his head down. If you work with teachers much or volunteer in the schools much you'd be amazed how much jealousy there is.

I've worked with lots of teachers and have been in tons of schools for decades and I'm unaware of this jealousy of which you type.

Is it jealousy of parents/children who go private? Parents who drive nice cars/seem to have money?

I've noticed some immaturity/insecurity towards other teachers but that was more office politics where people try to ass kiss to get ahead or be on the principal's good side. But I've never heard of jealousy towards families. For one, many teachers these days come from pretty good families, many marry well, some are financially independent and/or teach for giggles. To suggest they are jealous of families is ridiculous. Secondly, if they absolutely abhorred private school kids, wealth, etc they could always work in schools and districts with less wealth. Then they'd be looked up to and revered in the community.

But seriously, what type of jealousy do you see in teachers?

The word was not jealousy. The word was resentment. Feeling insulted that we chose a chose a school other than the school system in which she teaches. We don't have a large income, nice car or house. We are making a sacrifice to go to private school. The teacher probably drives a nicer car than us lol. The analogy I would use is when an employee leaves to go to a new company. Most coworkers will be happy for him. Some may feel abandoned, resentful, (maybe jealous in this case). In in our case, lots of teachers were proud of him, glad he got two choices. Teachers like him and are interested in his success for the most part. This particular teacher was the exception. The prior post about DH was not from me by the way. But it sounded pretty convincing! But yes, we will have a discussion with the teacher. That was always the case. There may be something we don't know about, and we get to the bottom of it. As parents we do want to know both sides of the story, of course. But if my son's side is completely true, then I would like to understand typical protocol when students need to make up work after an absence. Our experience has always been easy, you get the make up work and see the teacher with questions. It shouldn't matter whether the absence was due to an illness or a shadow visit. Both are considered "excused" and should be treated equally, although I know many of you disagree with this.

I don't know if she resents my son's entry into private high school. This behavior could be totally unrelated I threw the question out there to see if anyone had that experience. Apparently most do not. But regardless, the teacher is still being extremely rigid and unreasonable, and we need to get to the bottom of why.

Thanks to the posters who were concerned and helpful. And to the others, I am sure you had a nice entertaining evening letting off some steam. Just because someone is an A student, doesn't mean he isn't entitled to the same help as a C student. I don't buy that.

I was responding to the poster who used the word jealousy-unless of course you just outted yourself

[Anonymous]

Why would a teacher care that your child is going to a school other than the one she teaches in????? Is she his real mommy and you the new stepmom who stole her hubby??

Students come and go all the time. Teachers don't care. They have 100+ others to worry about and perhaps 10+ more transferring in for every child who transfers out. Furthermore, he's not leaving until next year. She doesn't care!!!! She's worried about the new kids coming in.

Trust me on this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would a teacher care that your child is going to a school other than the one she teaches in????? Is she his real mommy and you the new stepmom who stole her hubby??

Students come and go all the time. Teachers don't care. They have 100+ others to worry about and perhaps 10+ more transferring in for every child who transfers out. Furthermore, he's not leaving until next year. She doesn't care!!!! She's worried about the new kids coming in.

Trust me on this.

In addition to new incoming kids next year, she has her own family, friends, loved ones, wants, fears, hobbies and dreams. Where her graduating students go to HS is the least of her concerns. That's for the families to worry about.