Public School Teacher's Resentment Toward DS for Going to Private High School?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like going to the guidance counselor to "fix" things was the start of your troubles. You seem to have no perspective on how being overridden on a decision can affect most people. Basically, you decided she was unreasonable and undermined her without ever having a direct conversation with her.

You do come across as entitled and not very sensitive our aware of others' feelings and needs. The teacher may not be acting in a completely fair manner, but it sounds like she was provoked. You behaved in a way that was disrespectful of her.

If you really want to solve this rather than just bashing her on DCUM, I suggest you go in to talk to her face to face, ask questions, and listen without getting defensive. Only when you can listen to her with respect are you going to be able to find a solution.

Excellent point. She was good enough for a recommendation but now OP doesn't trust her judgment. Between going to the guidance counselor and the son's new sweatshirt, sounds like someone lacks awareness and possibly humility.

The absences were "excused" absences. My son approached the teacher (teachers are to be available to help when material is not understood...if not they are not good teachers) during lunch and before school. She never has time for him. If you had read my original post, you would have seen that she was unreasonable about a project he tried to submit before it was due. We have not problems with other teachers. My son is well liked by ALL other teachers and administrators and has not had any issues with anyone in his three years in this school. The reason the guidance teacher was involved is because this teacher has historically not wanted to cooperate, and had already told my son that she will not help him.

Maybe it has nothing to do with the school application...maybe she is just a horrible teacher.

Thanks for your input.

That's it! You are the one with the problem. you can't seem to believe that perhaps your DC should bear some responsibility for the missing works. Instead, you are labeling her to be a bad teacher.

It would be poetic justice if she fails your DC and the private school rescind their offer of admission.

Hah...unlikely to happen...my son is acing the subject and luckily math is not a subjective subject...there is only right and wrong...no in between. The teacher is a total loser and you are probably a public teacher...I read between the lines.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like going to the guidance counselor to "fix" things was the start of your troubles. You seem to have no perspective on how being overridden on a decision can affect most people. Basically, you decided she was unreasonable and undermined her without ever having a direct conversation with her.

You do come across as entitled and not very sensitive our aware of others' feelings and needs. The teacher may not be acting in a completely fair manner, but it sounds like she was provoked. You behaved in a way that was disrespectful of her.

If you really want to solve this rather than just bashing her on DCUM, I suggest you go in to talk to her face to face, ask questions, and listen without getting defensive. Only when you can listen to her with respect are you going to be able to find a solution.

Excellent point. She was good enough for a recommendation but now OP doesn't trust her judgment. Between going to the guidance counselor and the son's new sweatshirt, sounds like someone lacks awareness and possibly humility.

The absences were "excused" absences. My son approached the teacher (teachers are to be available to help when material is not understood...if not they are not good teachers) during lunch and before school. She never has time for him. If you had read my original post, you would have seen that she was unreasonable about a project he tried to submit before it was due. We have not problems with other teachers. My son is well liked by ALL other teachers and administrators and has not had any issues with anyone in his three years in this school. The reason the guidance teacher was involved is because this teacher has historically not wanted to cooperate, and had already told my son that she will not help him.

Maybe it has nothing to do with the school application...maybe she is just a horrible teacher.

Thanks for your input.

That's it! You are the one with the problem. you can't seem to believe that perhaps your DC should bear some responsibility for the missing works. Instead, you are labeling her to be a bad teacher.

It would be poetic justice if she fails your DC and the private school rescind their offer of admission.

Yes this is definitely a public school teacher...no question!!

[Anonymous]

I'm not a teacher but man, OP is obnoxious. I can't even imagine how horrible her kid is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a teacher but man, OP is obnoxious. I can't even imagine how horrible her kid is.

Agree! She sounds nut!....good luck to the new school her DS is going to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a teacher but man, OP is obnoxious. I can't even imagine how horrible her kid is.

Agree. And I can see maybe a private school teacher caring a little bit about a change in schools because of lost tuition (which even then is remote) but why would a public middle school teacher care at all. In our cluster quite a few kids go to private for HS but an equal or greater number move from private to public at 9th (including my kid). It sounds like Op and probably her DS are projecting a superiority attitude, which is probably super annoying.

[Anonymous]

Maybe DS is copping an attitude now that he got into a private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like going to the guidance counselor to "fix" things was the start of your troubles. You seem to have no perspective on how being overridden on a decision can affect most people. Basically, you decided she was unreasonable and undermined her without ever having a direct conversation with her.

You do come across as entitled and not very sensitive our aware of others' feelings and needs. The teacher may not be acting in a completely fair manner, but it sounds like she was provoked. You behaved in a way that was disrespectful of her.

If you really want to solve this rather than just bashing her on DCUM, I suggest you go in to talk to her face to face, ask questions, and listen without getting defensive. Only when you can listen to her with respect are you going to be able to find a solution.

Excellent point. She was good enough for a recommendation but now OP doesn't trust her judgment. Between going to the guidance counselor and the son's new sweatshirt, sounds like someone lacks awareness and possibly humility.

The absences were "excused" absences. My son approached the teacher (teachers are to be available to help when material is not understood...if not they are not good teachers) during lunch and before school. She never has time for him. If you had read my original post, you would have seen that she was unreasonable about a project he tried to submit before it was due. We have not problems with other teachers. My son is well liked by ALL other teachers and administrators and has not had any issues with anyone in his three years in this school. The reason the guidance teacher was involved is because this teacher has historically not wanted to cooperate, and had already told my son that she will not help him.

Maybe it has nothing to do with the school application...maybe she is just a horrible teacher.

Thanks for your input.

And, on behalf of the anonymous teacher that you have progressively dumped on all day . . . maybe you are just a horrible member of a school community. (Doesn't feel that good, does it.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. DS tried to hand something in a day early (which is allowed and encouraged). She said he needed the rubric. He went to get it from his desk and she said no, hand it in tomorrow. The next day he mistakenly left it home (he was showing his dad the work) and she took a grade off his project for being late to hand it in, even though she knew he had done it and we brought it to the school right after school. The guidance counselor fixed things. Next he had a test right after missing some days due to shadowing. He missed some of the material and tried to see her to get help. She was always busy giving kids tests before school and during lunch, and never available after school to help him with the material. Then she went out of her way to send me emails about the days he was out and how he did not miss the material...she spent a lot of time with the emails...why can't she help my kid? My son is a straight A student...forgetful sometimes, but sweet and well liked by all the other teachers and administrators.

I think if he was going to be pulled out of school for shadowing, he should've done his work in advance or talked to her about whether or not there would be late penalties.

The late penalties seem reasonable.

I think either your or your kid or both of you are expecting everyone to accommodate his move to a new school and maybe it's getting annoying?

Shadow visits to other schools are excused absences. The school is obligated to accommodate the student for missed work during school visits. Yes obligated. That is why guidance counselor overruled the teachers unwillingness to accommodate. It is the law and she tried to break it.

LOL, now the teacher "tried to break the law," is "horrible," and is a "bad teacher." Wow! Amazing that your child got in to such a sweatshirt-worthy school with a criminal and criminally incompetent teacher writing his recommendation.

You asked for input, and people gave you feedback. You're not turning people around with your further attacks on the teacher. On the bright side, this is anonymous, and you showed some good judgment in not identifying either school, at least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. DS tried to hand something in a day early (which is allowed and encouraged). She said he needed the rubric. He went to get it from his desk and she said no, hand it in tomorrow. The next day he mistakenly left it home (he was showing his dad the work) and she took a grade off his project for being late to hand it in, even though she knew he had done it and we brought it to the school right after school. The guidance counselor fixed things. Next he had a test right after missing some days due to shadowing. He missed some of the material and tried to see her to get help. She was always busy giving kids tests before school and during lunch, and never available after school to help him with the material. Then she went out of her way to send me emails about the days he was out and how he did not miss the material...she spent a lot of time with the emails...why can't she help my kid? My son is a straight A student...forgetful sometimes, but sweet and well liked by all the other teachers and administrators.

I think if he was going to be pulled out of school for shadowing, he should've done his work in advance or talked to her about whether or not there would be late penalties.

The late penalties seem reasonable.

I think either your or your kid or both of you are expecting everyone to accommodate his move to a new school and maybe it's getting annoying?

Shadow visits to other schools are excused absences. The school is obligated to accommodate the student for missed work during school visits. Yes obligated. That is why guidance counselor overruled the teachers unwillingness to accommodate. It is the law and she tried to break it.

LOL, now the teacher "tried to break the law," is "horrible," and is a "bad teacher." Wow! Amazing that your child got in to such a sweatshirt-worthy school with a criminal and criminally incompetent teacher writing his recommendation.

You asked for input, and people gave you feedback. You're not turning people around with your further attacks on the teacher. On the bright side, this is anonymous, and you showed some good judgment in not identifying either school, at least.

If I was the teacher and discovered this thread I'd send it to the schools as a warning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a teacher but man, OP is obnoxious. I can't even imagine how horrible her kid is.

I'm sure the kid is fine. It sounds like the relationship was fine until recently. The parent is obviously overreacting here, but I'm sure the teacher is a professional and would not do something morally, ethically, and professionally wrong like failing a student in retribution for rudeness or arrogance from a parent (and, "poetic justice" poster, you should know better). We all know parents who are a trial for the school admin and the teachers, and 99% of the time the teachers are able to separate their relationship with the child from the toxic parent.

OP, you've taken some shots (and given quite a few as well). Take some deep breaths and realize that the teacher herself was not replying to any of these posts, so you shouldn't allow this to escalate because you got taken to the woodshed on DCUM when (it appears) you thought you'd only get affirmation. The best suggestion was to try to talk to the teacher face to face if the issues are ongoing -- that usually allows people to see the best in the other person and get past the misunderstandings or ambiguities of email.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone ever experienced a teacher suddenly becoming cold and difficult after she found out your child was leaving public school to go to private? DS's math teacher has become difficult almost to the point of bullying him. The scary thing is that she is one of the people who wrote his recommendation. Luckily he got into both schools, but I just don't know if it is my imagination. An educational consultant we know recommended that he not tell his teachers he is leaving as sometimes they become resentful. But this obviously could not be avoided as she wrote the recommendation. Lately she has become extremely unreasonable with him about assignments and makeups (due to shadow visits). Guidance counselor has been supportive, but the teacher is stressing us out! I told him not to wear the new school sweatshirt to school anymore as it is probably provoking her :shock:

troll post. no one is this ridiculous or small minded. this situation is made up . and no one would be so shallow as to immediately begin wearing a school logo upon getting an admit acceptance. First of all, it is insensitive to the majority who are turned down. Second of all, HS student book staores are off limits to the gen pop and school logo items can only be purchased by charging to a "student account". you cannot pay cash.

OP is a troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone ever experienced a teacher suddenly becoming cold and difficult after she found out your child was leaving public school to go to private? DS's math teacher has become difficult almost to the point of bullying him. The scary thing is that she is one of the people who wrote his recommendation. Luckily he got into both schools, but I just don't know if it is my imagination. An educational consultant we know recommended that he not tell his teachers he is leaving as sometimes they become resentful. But this obviously could not be avoided as she wrote the recommendation. Lately she has become extremely unreasonable with him about assignments and makeups (due to shadow visits). Guidance counselor has been supportive, but the teacher is stressing us out! I told him not to wear the new school sweatshirt to school anymore as it is probably provoking her :shock:

troll post. no one is this ridiculous or small minded. this situation is made up . and no one would be so shallow as to immediately begin wearing a school logo upon getting an admit acceptance. First of all, it is insensitive to the majority who are turned down. Second of all, HS student book staores are off limits to the gen pop and school logo items can only be purchased by charging to a "student account". you cannot pay cash.

OP is a troll

NP here. Some schools give the sweatshirts as part of the welcome process. DS received one, but at age 4 1/2 had the social savvy to note that he would wait until he started attending the school before wearing it.

OP sounds like a whiner who expected sympathy, but the more she posted the more she revealed how obnoxious and horrid she is. She's now locked in a power struggle with this teacher, which probably didn't need to happen. If she'd approached the situation with a bit more grace and less entitlement, things probably would not have escalated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone ever experienced a teacher suddenly becoming cold and difficult after she found out your child was leaving public school to go to private? DS's math teacher has become difficult almost to the point of bullying him. The scary thing is that she is one of the people who wrote his recommendation. Luckily he got into both schools, but I just don't know if it is my imagination. An educational consultant we know recommended that he not tell his teachers he is leaving as sometimes they become resentful. But this obviously could not be avoided as she wrote the recommendation. Lately she has become extremely unreasonable with him about assignments and makeups (due to shadow visits). Guidance counselor has been supportive, but the teacher is stressing us out! I told him not to wear the new school sweatshirt to school anymore as it is probably provoking her

How tacky can you get!

[Anonymous]

OP it is very common for middle school teachers to start transferring responsibility to students in the second half of 8th grade so that they are ready. Your kid is clearly struggling with these new responsibilities and instead of being grateful to them for challenging him you've gone over the teacher's head twice to complain.

1) Student turns in incomplete assignment, with a critical part missing. In high school, a teacher would accept the assignment and grade it down for the missing rubric. In sixth or seventh, the kid would get immediate feedback to go and get the missing part, so your kid's teacher split the difference. Your kid still failed to meet the expectation. A late penalty was appropriate at that point, by rescuing your kid you prevented him from learning an important lesson. Next time he messes up an assignment he'll be in high school where grades count and teachers are less forgiving. Bad decision mom.

2) Student chooses to take a day off school for an optional event (shadow visits after admissions are. Ot required). He knew about his absence in advance. What did he do to prepare? Did he go to Khan academy to review the materials there? Get a friend's notes? Did he do these things before the absences or only when the test was looming? Again, it seems like he didn't step up, and the school offered him a low risk way to learn a lesson. If you don't prepare for known absences you can fall behind. Now he'll go off to high school without that lesson. Next time he's out for something planes, he won't think to plan for his absence, and if his grade falls as a result his transcripts for college will be impacted, all because of his helicopter mom.

[Anonymous]

Why would she care that he's going to a private school? He's in 8th grade and would be going to a different school anyway. If she was so dead set against it she would not have written the letter.