Public School Teacher's Resentment Toward DS for Going to Private High School?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would she care that he's going to a private school? He's in 8th grade and would be going to a different school anyway. If she was so dead set against it she would not have written the letter.

Op I believe you. Have son tone it down and keep his head down. If you work with teachers much or volunteer in the schools much you'd be amazed how much jealousy there is.

Thank you PP. I actually never expected to come across this. But perhaps like others said, it has nothing to do with the private school. It is just that the timing of the problems happened right around the same time. DS is not an aggressive kid. He is actually pretty low key, hard working, and bordering on timid. The only reason I got involved is because while he was doing homework he came to me and told me he didn't understand the new material (which he missed during excused absence) and when I asked him if he tried to get help, he told me she was not available. Most teachers make themselves after school, before school, or during lunch for help. This teacher was not available an any of these times (never after school). For two days he tried to see her before school and during lunch and she sent him away. Heartless? Yes. Resentful? Perhaps.

As for the shirt, hmmm. The kid is proud of his new school. He has a right to wear the shirt. Kids to to bar mitzvahs and wear the shirts the next Monday. Nobody complains about that even though ids feel left out. How is that any different?

OP, you are now beyond ridiculous. For two days this teacher was too busy before school or during her lunch to help your child and you have concluded it is due to a character flaw in her part - she is heartless (!!) - or because she has a personal vendetta against your child. How about this --- how about she is fucking BUSY. How about she has over a hundred other students and five classes to prep for and dozens of parents and students to get back to, and when she has to triage everything in her plate and all of the priorities and all of the things she has to get one, one A student's confusion about one problem that was part of a lesson he missed because he chose to go on an outing to a private school is NOT A PRIORITY. And as a fellow public school parent, I commend this teacher for prioritizing the lessons she has to plan and the struggling students she has to help over your A student who chose to miss school. She is not heartless; she is BUSY and has good judgment.

The works does not revolve around you and your kid. Oh my god.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. DS tried to hand something in a day early (which is allowed and encouraged). She said he needed the rubric. He went to get it from his desk and she said no, hand it in tomorrow. The next day he mistakenly left it home (he was showing his dad the work) and she took a grade off his project for being late to hand it in, even though she knew he had done it and we brought it to the school right after school. The guidance counselor fixed things. Next he had a test right after missing some days due to shadowing. He missed some of the material and tried to see her to get help. She was always busy giving kids tests before school and during lunch, and never available after school to help him with the material. Then she went out of her way to send me emails about the days he was out and how he did not miss the material...she spent a lot of time with the emails...why can't she help my kid? My son is a straight A student...forgetful sometimes, but sweet and well liked by all the other teachers and administrators.

I think if he was going to be pulled out of school for shadowing, he should've done his work in advance or talked to her about whether or not there would be late penalties.

The late penalties seem reasonable.

I think either your or your kid or both of you are expecting everyone to accommodate his move to a new school and maybe it's getting annoying?

Shadow visits to other schools are excused absences. The school is obligated to accommodate the student for missed work during school visits. Yes obligated. That is why guidance counselor overruled the teachers unwillingness to accommodate. It is the law and she tried to break it.

What on earth are you talking about? Personal, voluntary excursions are not excused absences. Teachers are not required to private tutor children who voluntarily choose to miss instruction for reasons other than illness, death in the family, or court. Does your school have a policy that says otherwise?

I can't imagine a public school teacher caring one whit that a family is choosing a different school. (and for a family this annoying and demanding of special consideration for a student who is already an A student, good riddance. She's got kids who really need her extra time in order to be on grade level.) But I can certainly see a teacher being annoyed about a family who is so pushy and demanding about feeling like a child deserves to have special instruction after choosing to miss class. Sorry, if you choose too as the instruction, the teacher does not have to take time out of her own time to repeat it. That's on you and your child. Hiring a private tutor would be a more appropriate choice.

Sorry, but you are misinformed. This is an excused absence in our school system. Child should have extra time to make up work. Teacher should be available to help. Teacher was too busy shooting off defensive emails to parent. Guidance counselor is advocating because the teacher is known for being unreasonable. We are fine. Don't worry about us. Why don't you public school people go back on your own forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. DS tried to hand something in a day early (which is allowed and encouraged). She said he needed the rubric. He went to get it from his desk and she said no, hand it in tomorrow. The next day he mistakenly left it home (he was showing his dad the work) and she took a grade off his project for being late to hand it in, even though she knew he had done it and we brought it to the school right after school. The guidance counselor fixed things. Next he had a test right after missing some days due to shadowing. He missed some of the material and tried to see her to get help. She was always busy giving kids tests before school and during lunch, and never available after school to help him with the material. Then she went out of her way to send me emails about the days he was out and how he did not miss the material...she spent a lot of time with the emails...why can't she help my kid? My son is a straight A student...forgetful sometimes, but sweet and well liked by all the other teachers and administrators.

I think if he was going to be pulled out of school for shadowing, he should've done his work in advance or talked to her about whether or not there would be late penalties.

The late penalties seem reasonable.

I think either your or your kid or both of you are expecting everyone to accommodate his move to a new school and maybe it's getting annoying?

Shadow visits to other schools are excused absences. The school is obligated to accommodate the student for missed work during school visits. Yes obligated. That is why guidance counselor overruled the teachers unwillingness to accommodate. It is the law and she tried to break it.

What on earth are you talking about? Personal, voluntary excursions are not excused absences. Teachers are not required to private tutor children who voluntarily choose to miss instruction for reasons other than illness, death in the family, or court. Does your school have a policy that says otherwise?

I can't imagine a public school teacher caring one whit that a family is choosing a different school. (and for a family this annoying and demanding of special consideration for a student who is already an A student, good riddance. She's got kids who really need her extra time in order to be on grade level.) But I can certainly see a teacher being annoyed about a family who is so pushy and demanding about feeling like a child deserves to have special instruction after choosing to miss class. Sorry, if you choose too as the instruction, the teacher does not have to take time out of her own time to repeat it. That's on you and your child. Hiring a private tutor would be a more appropriate choice.

Sorry, but you are misinformed. This is an excused absence in our school system. Child should have extra time to make up work. Teacher should be available to help. Teacher was too busy shooting off defensive emails to parent. Guidance counselor is advocating because the teacher is known for being unreasonable. We are fine. Don't worry about us. Why don't you public school people go back on your own forum.

If you have it all figured out, why are you still posting here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. DS tried to hand something in a day early (which is allowed and encouraged). She said he needed the rubric. He went to get it from his desk and she said no, hand it in tomorrow. The next day he mistakenly left it home (he was showing his dad the work) and she took a grade off his project for being late to hand it in, even though she knew he had done it and we brought it to the school right after school. The guidance counselor fixed things. Next he had a test right after missing some days due to shadowing. He missed some of the material and tried to see her to get help. She was always busy giving kids tests before school and during lunch, and never available after school to help him with the material. Then she went out of her way to send me emails about the days he was out and how he did not miss the material...she spent a lot of time with the emails...why can't she help my kid? My son is a straight A student...forgetful sometimes, but sweet and well liked by all the other teachers and administrators.

I think if he was going to be pulled out of school for shadowing, he should've done his work in advance or talked to her about whether or not there would be late penalties.

The late penalties seem reasonable.

I think either your or your kid or both of you are expecting everyone to accommodate his move to a new school and maybe it's getting annoying?

Shadow visits to other schools are excused absences. The school is obligated to accommodate the student for missed work during school visits. Yes obligated. That is why guidance counselor overruled the teachers unwillingness to accommodate. It is the law and she tried to break it.

What on earth are you talking about? Personal, voluntary excursions are not excused absences. Teachers are not required to private tutor children who voluntarily choose to miss instruction for reasons other than illness, death in the family, or court. Does your school have a policy that says otherwise?

I can't imagine a public school teacher caring one whit that a family is choosing a different school. (and for a family this annoying and demanding of special consideration for a student who is already an A student, good riddance. She's got kids who really need her extra time in order to be on grade level.) But I can certainly see a teacher being annoyed about a family who is so pushy and demanding about feeling like a child deserves to have special instruction after choosing to miss class. Sorry, if you choose too as the instruction, the teacher does not have to take time out of her own time to repeat it. That's on you and your child. Hiring a private tutor would be a more appropriate choice.

Sorry, but you are misinformed. This is an excused absence in our school system. Child should have extra time to make up work. Teacher should be available to help. Teacher was too busy shooting off defensive emails to parent. Guidance counselor is advocating because the teacher is known for being unreasonable. We are fine. Don't worry about us. Why don't you public school people go back on your own forum.

If you have it all figured out, why are you still posting here?

It's my thread. I can post as much as I want

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. DS tried to hand something in a day early (which is allowed and encouraged). She said he needed the rubric. He went to get it from his desk and she said no, hand it in tomorrow. The next day he mistakenly left it home (he was showing his dad the work) and she took a grade off his project for being late to hand it in, even though she knew he had done it and we brought it to the school right after school. The guidance counselor fixed things. Next he had a test right after missing some days due to shadowing. He missed some of the material and tried to see her to get help. She was always busy giving kids tests before school and during lunch, and never available after school to help him with the material. Then she went out of her way to send me emails about the days he was out and how he did not miss the material...she spent a lot of time with the emails...why can't she help my kid? My son is a straight A student...forgetful sometimes, but sweet and well liked by all the other teachers and administrators.

I think if he was going to be pulled out of school for shadowing, he should've done his work in advance or talked to her about whether or not there would be late penalties.

The late penalties seem reasonable.

I think either your or your kid or both of you are expecting everyone to accommodate his move to a new school and maybe it's getting annoying?

Shadow visits to other schools are excused absences. The school is obligated to accommodate the student for missed work during school visits. Yes obligated. That is why guidance counselor overruled the teachers unwillingness to accommodate. It is the law and she tried to break it.

What on earth are you talking about? Personal, voluntary excursions are not excused absences. Teachers are not required to private tutor children who voluntarily choose to miss instruction for reasons other than illness, death in the family, or court. Does your school have a policy that says otherwise?

I can't imagine a public school teacher caring one whit that a family is choosing a different school. (and for a family this annoying and demanding of special consideration for a student who is already an A student, good riddance. She's got kids who really need her extra time in order to be on grade level.) But I can certainly see a teacher being annoyed about a family who is so pushy and demanding about feeling like a child deserves to have special instruction after choosing to miss class. Sorry, if you choose too as the instruction, the teacher does not have to take time out of her own time to repeat it. That's on you and your child. Hiring a private tutor would be a more appropriate choice.

Sorry, but you are misinformed. This is an excused absence in our school system. Child should have extra time to make up work. Teacher should be available to help. Teacher was too busy shooting off defensive emails to parent. Guidance counselor is advocating because the teacher is known for being unreasonable. We are fine. Don't worry about us. Why don't you public school people go back on your own forum.

Actually, we are all private school people, and we are looking forward to the whiny, obnoxious post you'll write when you and your son are counseled out of our schools.

[Anonymous]

OP: go take your medicine!

[Anonymous]

My read is that this is a troll, and a fantastic job at trolling at that. Reeling everyone in pretending to ask for help; steadily escalating accusations against the mythical teacher; "class warfare" type posts putting down first all public school teachers and then all teachers EVERYWHERE! So much more fun for OP to be an evil genius troll rather than a stupid, entitled termagent.

However, on the off-chance that OP is real, sign me up for HashtagTeamTeacher versus HashtagTeamTroll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. DS tried to hand something in a day early (which is allowed and encouraged). She said he needed the rubric. He went to get it from his desk and she said no, hand it in tomorrow. The next day he mistakenly left it home (he was showing his dad the work) and she took a grade off his project for being late to hand it in, even though she knew he had done it and we brought it to the school right after school. The guidance counselor fixed things. Next he had a test right after missing some days due to shadowing. He missed some of the material and tried to see her to get help. She was always busy giving kids tests before school and during lunch, and never available after school to help him with the material. Then she went out of her way to send me emails about the days he was out and how he did not miss the material...she spent a lot of time with the emails...why can't she help my kid? My son is a straight A student...forgetful sometimes, but sweet and well liked by all the other teachers and administrators.

I think if he was going to be pulled out of school for shadowing, he should've done his work in advance or talked to her about whether or not there would be late penalties.

The late penalties seem reasonable.

I think either your or your kid or both of you are expecting everyone to accommodate his move to a new school and maybe it's getting annoying?

Shadow visits to other schools are excused absences. The school is obligated to accommodate the student for missed work during school visits. Yes obligated. That is why guidance counselor overruled the teachers unwillingness to accommodate. It is the law and she tried to break it.

What on earth are you talking about? Personal, voluntary excursions are not excused absences. Teachers are not required to private tutor children who voluntarily choose to miss instruction for reasons other than illness, death in the family, or court. Does your school have a policy that says otherwise?

I can't imagine a public school teacher caring one whit that a family is choosing a different school. (and for a family this annoying and demanding of special consideration for a student who is already an A student, good riddance. She's got kids who really need her extra time in order to be on grade level.) But I can certainly see a teacher being annoyed about a family who is so pushy and demanding about feeling like a child deserves to have special instruction after choosing to miss class. Sorry, if you choose too as the instruction, the teacher does not have to take time out of her own time to repeat it. That's on you and your child. Hiring a private tutor would be a more appropriate choice.

Sorry, but you are misinformed. This is an excused absence in our school system. Child should have extra time to make up work. Teacher should be available to help. Teacher was too busy shooting off defensive emails to parent. Guidance counselor is advocating because the teacher is known for being unreasonable. We are fine. Don't worry about us. Why don't you public school people go back on your own forum.

If you have it all figured out, why are you still posting here?

It's my thread. I can post as much as I want

ANYONE can post here, as much as s/he wants. I guess you're still having trouble with that over-inflated sense of importance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My read is that this is a troll, and a fantastic job at trolling at that. Reeling everyone in pretending to ask for help; steadily escalating accusations against the mythical teacher; "class warfare" type posts putting down first all public school teachers and then all teachers EVERYWHERE! So much more fun for OP to be an evil genius troll rather than a stupid, entitled termagent.

However, on the off-chance that OP is real, sign me up for HashtagTeamTeacher versus HashtagTeamTroll.

I hope this is a troll.

[Anonymous]

This is OP again. Talked to my DH and he thinks I've overreacted and that it's probably more of miscommunication and we need to meet the teacher halfway.

Thanks for the wake-up call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP again. Talked to my DH and he thinks I've overreacted and that it's probably more of miscommunication and we need to meet the teacher halfway.

Thanks for the wake-up call.

Glad to see this change in perspective, but it's quite a dramatic shift!

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP again. Talked to my DH and he thinks I've overreacted and that it's probably more of miscommunication and we need to meet the teacher halfway.

Thanks for the wake-up call.

Glad to see this change in perspective, but it's quite a dramatic shift!

Good luck!

Think the shift suggests a troll. If it's a real person, perhaps she took her meds.

[Anonymous]

I'm new to this thread and completely baffled.

Why in THEE WORLD would a public school teacher have a problem with a child transferring to a private school??? This confuses me to no end. Many public schools (teachers) counsel high achieving kids into better--often private--schools. My nephew's teacher did and many educators I know have done so as well. Nothing thrills a teacher more than knowing a child is getting the best education possible and many know that sometimes means having the child leave their school system. Here you have a kid who'd be leaving next year anyway to attend HS. So whether it's the local public or distant private, why would she care????

Serious question, OP: Why do you suspect this teacher is resentful? Do you think perhaps she wishes her biological children could go private? Do you think she's resentful because she views you as a wealthy family while she's barely surviving financially? I seriously cannot understand why you'd think she resents that he's going to a private school. I think it's much more possible that the issues your son is having with her happen to coincide with his acceptance. Had he attempted to turn work in without the rubric but had it accepted 10 times before? If so, I can understand you questioning why things would be different this time. But I still think it's a stretch to think she has private school envy.

I find it hard to believe that this teacher who wrote him two letters of recommendation would suddenly take issue with him now that he's been accepted. And I also think you're reading much more into the issue of the teacher being too busy to drop what she was doing with other students to accommodate your son on the spot. It would be different if she was simply sitting at her desk, twiddling her thumbs when he asked for on the spot help. She was BUSY! Why don't you teach your child to respect other people's time? What would you say if she was working with him, then stopped to help another kid who happened to walk in and interrupt her? Would your story then be that she favored the public school kid?

I really think you've read too much into a busy teacher's actions and that you may be projecting your own sense of superiority about the private school thing. The truth is that private school is no longer just for the very wealthy. Financial aid and other scholarships have made it accessible for those who are deserving. No one assumes that a private school kid is uber wealthy or someone to be envied anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP again. Talked to my DH and he thinks I've overreacted and that it's probably more of miscommunication and we need to meet the teacher halfway.

Thanks for the wake-up call.

I (and most of us) agree with your DH. I can't imagine the possibility of a miscommunication didn't cross your mind beforehand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. DS tried to hand something in a day early (which is allowed and encouraged). She said he needed the rubric. He went to get it from his desk and she said no, hand it in tomorrow. The next day he mistakenly left it home (he was showing his dad the work) and she took a grade off his project for being late to hand it in, even though she knew he had done it and we brought it to the school right after school. The guidance counselor fixed things. Next he had a test right after missing some days due to shadowing. He missed some of the material and tried to see her to get help. She was always busy giving kids tests before school and during lunch, and never available after school to help him with the material. Then she went out of her way to send me emails about the days he was out and how he did not miss the material...she spent a lot of time with the emails...why can't she help my kid? My son is a straight A student...forgetful sometimes, but sweet and well liked by all the other teachers and administrators.

I think if he was going to be pulled out of school for shadowing, he should've done his work in advance or talked to her about whether or not there would be late penalties.

The late penalties seem reasonable.

I think either your or your kid or both of you are expecting everyone to accommodate his move to a new school and maybe it's getting annoying?

Shadow visits to other schools are excused absences. The school is obligated to accommodate the student for missed work during school visits. Yes obligated. That is why guidance counselor overruled the teachers unwillingness to accommodate. It is the law and she tried to break it.

What on earth are you talking about? Personal, voluntary excursions are not excused absences. Teachers are not required to private tutor children who voluntarily choose to miss instruction for reasons other than illness, death in the family, or court. Does your school have a policy that says otherwise?

I can't imagine a public school teacher caring one whit that a family is choosing a different school. (and for a family this annoying and demanding of special consideration for a student who is already an A student, good riddance. She's got kids who really need her extra time in order to be on grade level.) But I can certainly see a teacher being annoyed about a family who is so pushy and demanding about feeling like a child deserves to have special instruction after choosing to miss class. Sorry, if you choose too as the instruction, the teacher does not have to take time out of her own time to repeat it. That's on you and your child. Hiring a private tutor would be a more appropriate choice.

Sorry, but you are misinformed. This is an excused absence in our school system. Child should have extra time to make up work. Teacher should be available to help. Teacher was too busy shooting off defensive emails to parent. Guidance counselor is advocating because the teacher is known for being unreasonable. We are fine. Don't worry about us. Why don't you public school people go back on your own forum.

If she's always so unreasonable, why would you have asked her for not one but TWO recs????