Public School Teacher's Resentment Toward DS for Going to Private High School?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would she care that he's going to a private school? He's in 8th grade and would be going to a different school anyway. If she was so dead set against it she would not have written the letter.

Op I believe you. Have son tone it down and keep his head down. If you work with teachers much or volunteer in the schools much you'd be amazed how much jealousy there is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a teacher but man, OP is obnoxious. I can't even imagine how horrible her kid is.

Agree! She sounds nut!....good luck to the new school her DS is going to.

You two sound horrible. This is the type of post I'd expect from a jealous public school teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP it is very common for middle school teachers to start transferring responsibility to students in the second half of 8th grade so that they are ready. Your kid is clearly struggling with these new responsibilities and instead of being grateful to them for challenging him you've gone over the teacher's head twice to complain.

1) Student turns in incomplete assignment, with a critical part missing. In high school, a teacher would accept the assignment and grade it down for the missing rubric. In sixth or seventh, the kid would get immediate feedback to go and get the missing part, so your kid's teacher split the difference. Your kid still failed to meet the expectation. A late penalty was appropriate at that point, by rescuing your kid you prevented him from learning an important lesson. Next time he messes up an assignment he'll be in high school where grades count and teachers are less forgiving. Bad decision mom.

2) Student chooses to take a day off school for an optional event (shadow visits after admissions are. Ot required). He knew about his absence in advance. What did he do to prepare? Did he go to Khan academy to review the materials there? Get a friend's notes? Did he do these things before the absences or only when the test was looming? Again, it seems like he didn't step up, and the school offered him a low risk way to learn a lesson. If you don't prepare for known absences you can fall behind. Now he'll go off to high school without that lesson. Next time he's out for something planes, he won't think to plan for his absence, and if his grade falls as a result his transcripts for college will be impacted, all because of his helicopter mom.

1. He would still have gotten am A with the missing rubric...would have rather had that than entire letter grade.

2. He did everything possible to keep up. The shadow visit was not planned that far in advance. He kept up with all other classes, including this one. Only issue was he had question on a problem that the teacher refused to help him with. That is cruel and bordering on bullying. Each time he approached her for help, he was sent away because she was too busy.

Like I said perhaps she couldn't care less about the private school. She is just a teacher with no heart. All the more reason to go private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would she care that he's going to a private school? He's in 8th grade and would be going to a different school anyway. If she was so dead set against it she would not have written the letter.

Op I believe you. Have son tone it down and keep his head down. If you work with teachers much or volunteer in the schools much you'd be amazed how much jealousy there is.

Thank you PP. I actually never expected to come across this. But perhaps like others said, it has nothing to do with the private school. It is just that the timing of the problems happened right around the same time. DS is not an aggressive kid. He is actually pretty low key, hard working, and bordering on timid. The only reason I got involved is because while he was doing homework he came to me and told me he didn't understand the new material (which he missed during excused absence) and when I asked him if he tried to get help, he told me she was not available. Most teachers make themselves after school, before school, or during lunch for help. This teacher was not available an any of these times (never after school). For two days he tried to see her before school and during lunch and she sent him away. Heartless? Yes. Resentful? Perhaps.

As for the shirt, hmmm. The kid is proud of his new school. He has a right to wear the shirt. Kids to to bar mitzvahs and wear the shirts the next Monday. Nobody complains about that even though ids feel left out. How is that any different?

[Anonymous]

Heartless? Clearly you're prone to exaggerating, maybe your son is too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would she care that he's going to a private school? He's in 8th grade and would be going to a different school anyway. If she was so dead set against it she would not have written the letter.

Op I believe you. Have son tone it down and keep his head down. If you work with teachers much or volunteer in the schools much you'd be amazed how much jealousy there is.

Thank you PP. I actually never expected to come across this. But perhaps like others said, it has nothing to do with the private school. It is just that the timing of the problems happened right around the same time. DS is not an aggressive kid. He is actually pretty low key, hard working, and bordering on timid. The only reason I got involved is because while he was doing homework he came to me and told me he didn't understand the new material (which he missed during excused absence) and when I asked him if he tried to get help, he told me she was not available. Most teachers make themselves after school, before school, or during lunch for help. This teacher was not available an any of these times (never after school). For two days he tried to see her before school and during lunch and she sent him away. Heartless? Yes. Resentful? Perhaps.

As for the shirt, hmmm. The kid is proud of his new school. He has a right to wear the shirt. Kids to to bar mitzvahs and wear the shirts the next Monday. Nobody complains about that even though ids feel left out. How is that any different?

You are socially clueless. You and your child view the new school as a trade-up and you wonder why a teacher would get her feelings hurt? You are suggesting to the teacher that she isn't good enough and your current school aren't good enough for your kid. That may be true, but the teacher may disagree.

You are also asking for extra-help because you blew off class to take another interview. Why should she give your child extra help on her off time? It's her OFF time. That means it's her time, not yours. You're leaving and not worth putting any more effort into.

You might try to smooth the waters by telling her how much she has helped your child and what a great teacher she is and how much you appreciate the rec that she wrote. Did you even thank her for it, or did you just expect her to do it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a teacher but man, OP is obnoxious. I can't even imagine how horrible her kid is.

Agree! She sounds nut!....good luck to the new school her DS is going to.

You two sound horrible. This is the type of post I'd expect from a jealous public school teacher.

OP, the fact that you can't absorb that you come across as horrible to a large number of people reading your posts suggests that you are socially clueless.

Your attitude about the whole series of exchanges between your child and the teacher speaks volumes about your sense of entitlement.

Given your attitude of victimization and entitlement, I find it very hard to believe that your child has not absorbed similar attitudes. He's probably broadcasting it to the teacher.

[Anonymous]

TO OP:

Give it up! It's pretty clear the problem is you! Entitled, thankless, conceited, and socially clueless. I just hope you didn't project too much of your attitude to your DS.

And do you actually believe public teachers actually do come to visit DCUM?

It's scary to be in your reality!

[Anonymous]

We transferred our DC from a PreK-12 private school to another PreK-12 private school for HS. Certain teachers at the old school were absolutely awful to DC for the remainder of the time. One teacher/coach did not play my DC after finding out about the transfer. We left our younger DC at the previous school to finish MS. The same teachers who were rude to older DC were unfortunately rude to younger DC, except it lasted for two years. Probably should have transferred younger DC sooner. So, OP, YES, it does happen.

[Anonymous]

PP: but that's private to private, completely different situation here.

Private school teachers may loose their job for lack of enrollments. Public school teachers do not have that problem. What they have are unreasonable parent like the O p.

[Anonymous]

PP, there's never an excuse for taking a transfer out on a kid.

[Anonymous]

New poster here. I don't think OP seems entitled at all. She was advocating for her son who appears to have done the right things yet was not getting the help he seeked. I don't understand why anyone would think going on a shadow visit makes him less entitled to help. All students are entitled to help when they need it. Many of you seem to think that a sense of entitlement is wrong? I actually think as tax payers who pay these teachers' salaries, we are entitled. AND what about the teacher who feels she is entitled to personal time when other teachers are staying after school and find ways to help. This teacher sounds to me to be selfish and perhaps even vindictive.

OP despite the fact you are probably right, but we don't know for sure, you should reach out to the teacher next week. I know it will be hard,but there's only a few months left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New poster here. I don't think OP seems entitled at all. She was advocating for her son who appears to have done the right things yet was not getting the help he seeked. I don't understand why anyone would think going on a shadow visit makes him less entitled to help. All students are entitled to help when they need it. Many of you seem to think that a sense of entitlement is wrong? I actually think as tax payers who pay these teachers' salaries, we are entitled. AND what about the teacher who feels she is entitled to personal time when other teachers are staying after school and find ways to help. This teacher sounds to me to be selfish and perhaps even vindictive.

OP despite the fact you are probably right, but we don't know for sure, you should reach out to the teacher next week. I know it will be hard,but there's only a few months left.

You said she is not entitled, and the you said she is entitled. To be honest, I agree with the latter. If what op said is true, the boy should have gotten the help, or at leas some reassurance he would receive it. The teacher sounds mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New poster here. I don't think OP seems entitled at all. She was advocating for her son who appears to have done the right things yet was not getting the help he seeked. I don't understand why anyone would think going on a shadow visit makes him less entitled to help. All students are entitled to help when they need it. Many of you seem to think that a sense of entitlement is wrong? I actually think as tax payers who pay these teachers' salaries, we are entitled. AND what about the teacher who feels she is entitled to personal time when other teachers are staying after school and find ways to help. This teacher sounds to me to be selfish and perhaps even vindictive.

OP despite the fact you are probably right, but we don't know for sure, you should reach out to the teacher next week. I know it will be hard,but there's only a few months left.

PP, I think you are OP in disguise. Or, you have difficulty reading and comprehending tone. With each post, OP became more belie den,mentioned,mand generally obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP it is very common for middle school teachers to start transferring responsibility to students in the second half of 8th grade so that they are ready. Your kid is clearly struggling with these new responsibilities and instead of being grateful to them for challenging him you've gone over the teacher's head twice to complain.

1) Student turns in incomplete assignment, with a critical part missing. In high school, a teacher would accept the assignment and grade it down for the missing rubric. In sixth or seventh, the kid would get immediate feedback to go and get the missing part, so your kid's teacher split the difference. Your kid still failed to meet the expectation. A late penalty was appropriate at that point, by rescuing your kid you prevented him from learning an important lesson. Next time he messes up an assignment he'll be in high school where grades count and teachers are less forgiving. Bad decision mom.

2) Student chooses to take a day off school for an optional event (shadow visits after admissions are. Ot required). He knew about his absence in advance. What did he do to prepare? Did he go to Khan academy to review the materials there? Get a friend's notes? Did he do these things before the absences or only when the test was looming? Again, it seems like he didn't step up, and the school offered him a low risk way to learn a lesson. If you don't prepare for known absences you can fall behind. Now he'll go off to high school without that lesson. Next time he's out for something planes, he won't think to plan for his absence, and if his grade falls as a result his transcripts for college will be impacted, all because of his helicopter mom.

1. He would still have gotten am A with the missing rubric...would have rather had that than entire letter grade.

2. He did everything possible to keep up. The shadow visit was not planned that far in advance. He kept up with all other classes, including this one. Only issue was he had question on a problem that the teacher refused to help him with. That is cruel and bordering on bullying. Each time he approached her for help, he was sent away because she was too busy.

Like I said perhaps she couldn't care less about the private school. She is just a teacher with no heart. All the more reason to go private.

How is her behavior anything close to bullying? You can't just apply the latest buzz-word to create your own victim drama.