When a friend confides about a really major secret and it changes things...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you ask her why she shared that with you? Did she need a confessor?

Lots of people have affairs, even "good girls. " many of them realize their mistake and go on to have even stronger marriages.

maybe be less judgmental?

God....imagine if it was a guy having an affair with the au pair. Oh wait. I've seen those a lot. It usually results in the DCUM women crying out to bring the man to burn him at the stake.

Turn this around, and we get "try to be less judgmental." GIVE ME A FREAKING BREAK.

FEMINAZIS. A good amount of this site... Bunch of SAHMs who believe their entitled because other SAHMs (and probably TheView) tells them they should be.

P.S. Men are dogs and should be happy with whatever lackluster sex their wives grace them with. The end.

+1

[Anonymous]

Seriously, who can pass up a hot soccer player?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How'd you react when she told you? If you were sympathetic and supportive when she told you, offering a shoulder to cry on then that's what you should continue to do. Or if you were critical and accusatory when she told you, expressing your disappointment and condemning her actions then that's how you should continue to be. Hell if you were giggly and entertained when she told you, cracking up with her as she explained the mess she'd gotten herself into then that's how you should continue to be. Be you and be her friend. But DON'T try and switch up all the sudden into some high and mighty mythical ethical buddha who is far too enlightened and immaculate to associate with the likes of a lesser being...that's bullshit lady and you know it. But if that's the route you want to take - high and mighty - then by all means you should go with it. In other words, be the honest upright all-knowing never-faulting sage of sincerity that you claim to be and simply tell her that you do not wish to be in her company at the Cape. She is unworthy.

I think I love you, dude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How'd you react when she told you? If you were sympathetic and supportive when she told you, offering a shoulder to cry on then that's what you should continue to do. Or if you were critical and accusatory when she told you, expressing your disappointment and condemning her actions then that's how you should continue to be. Hell if you were giggly and entertained when she told you, cracking up with her as she explained the mess she'd gotten herself into then that's how you should continue to be. Be you and be her friend. But DON'T try and switch up all the sudden into some high and mighty mythical ethical buddha who is far too enlightened and immaculate to associate with the likes of a lesser being...that's bullshit lady and you know it. But if that's the route you want to take - high and mighty - then by all means you should go with it. In other words, be the honest upright all-knowing never-faulting sage of sincerity that you claim to be and simply tell her that you do not wish to be in her company at the Cape. She is unworthy.

Bullshit-sometimes it takes time for things to sink in- I totally disagree and with all due respect think your notion if having to stick to what her initial reaction was is silly- she has every right to be outraged as what thus woman did is immoral.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How'd you react when she told you? If you were sympathetic and supportive when she told you, offering a shoulder to cry on then that's what you should continue to do. Or if you were critical and accusatory when she told you, expressing your disappointment and condemning her actions then that's how you should continue to be. Hell if you were giggly and entertained when she told you, cracking up with her as she explained the mess she'd gotten herself into then that's how you should continue to be. Be you and be her friend. But DON'T try and switch up all the sudden into some high and mighty mythical ethical buddha who is far too enlightened and immaculate to associate with the likes of a lesser being...that's bullshit lady and you know it. But if that's the route you want to take - high and mighty - then by all means you should go with it. In other words, be the honest upright all-knowing never-faulting sage of sincerity that you claim to be and simply tell her that you do not wish to be in her company at the Cape. She is unworthy.

You are pretty judgmental yourself. She is being high and mighty if her friend's actions make her uncomfortable. Some times in a conversation you go along (especially when drinking) then later you think, no I don't agree with that, and I do not want to participate with her by being her receptacle for this news. But you have your mind made up. It was OK with you and any other stance was "high and mighty" I don't think it is particularly high what the friend did, and extremely awkward if she then has to spend a week with her friends husband.

[Anonymous]

So someone I have been very good friends with for years (we are both in our 40's) with kids similar ages shocked me beyond belief by confessing to me the other night that she had a short term affair with a graduate student

She is clearly NOT comfortable with this.

[Anonymous]

Is her dh hot? Maybe y'all can swap on vacation

[Anonymous]

SICK. All of you witches who condone this behavior and applaud this whore are simply terrible.

[Anonymous]

I'm in a different but related situation and I feel the same way.

My friend found someone's engagement and wedding rings on the ground the other day and triumphantly pulled them out to show them off to a bunch of us. Her plan is to sell them and keep the money.

We all looked at her horrified, and she kept digging herself in deeper and deeper as she tried to rationalize this plan to an obviously disapproving audience. She sounded more selfish, craven, and greedy with every sentence. We all told her how she should handle it (put up an ad, put up a sign in the neighborhood where she found them, then turn them into the police if she doesn't hear from the rightful owner in a week or two).

She got more and more defensive and possessive about her right sell someone's effing wedding rings. She refuses to turn them in, saying she wants to make sure she gets the money if the owner doesn't turn up. We tried to talk her into calling the nearby nail salon where she found them, and I'll be checking with them myself tomorrow to make sure she did it, and I will also be putting up signs myself if she won't. Those are someone's wedding rings!

I have lost respect for her and am so disappointed and disgusted to see this side of her.

[Anonymous]

People change. Friendships change. Maybe she resents getting married so young who knows- things change and friendships don't always last as people eventually evolve into who they are meant to be.
Maybe your friendship has run its course and it's time to part ways- I can understand why you would. I would have a very hard time moving past this indiscretion myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in a different but related situation and I feel the same way.

My friend found someone's engagement and wedding rings on the ground the other day and triumphantly pulled them out to show them off to a bunch of us. Her plan is to sell them and keep the money.

We all looked at her horrified, and she kept digging herself in deeper and deeper as she tried to rationalize this plan to an obviously disapproving audience. She sounded more selfish, craven, and greedy with every sentence. We all told her how she should handle it (put up an ad, put up a sign in the neighborhood where she found them, then turn them into the police if she doesn't hear from the rightful owner in a week or two).

She got more and more defensive and possessive about her right sell someone's effing wedding rings. She refuses to turn them in, saying she wants to make sure she gets the money if the owner doesn't turn up. We tried to talk her into calling the nearby nail salon where she found them, and I'll be checking with them myself tomorrow to make sure she did it, and I will also be putting up signs myself if she won't. Those are someone's wedding rings!

I have lost respect for her and am so disappointed and disgusted to see this side of her.

Yuck, I would have more of a problem with this than with the friend's affair.

[Anonymous]

Somebody tell the OP to take it down a notch it's not that serious. If you can't be friends with the bitch with the Scarlett Letter then don't - nobody aside from yourself gives a shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Somebody tell the OP to take it down a notch it's not that serious. If you can't be friends with the bitch with the Scarlett Letter then don't - nobody aside from yourself gives a shit.

I bet her family... Husband and kids would give a shit. Op has every right to be pissed- her friend changed the game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Somebody tell the OP to take it down a notch it's not that serious. If you can't be friends with the bitch with the Scarlett Letter then don't - nobody aside from yourself gives a shit.

I bet her family... Husband and kids would give a shit. Op has every right to be pissed- her friend changed the game.

I bet you won't lose sleep over any of it. Nobody gives a shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Somebody tell the OP to take it down a notch it's not that serious. If you can't be friends with the bitch with the Scarlett Letter then don't - nobody aside from yourself gives a shit.

I bet her family... Husband and kids would give a shit. Op has every right to be pissed- her friend changed the game.

This is why her friend's behavior is so hurtful. Her family, who may adore her, has no idea what she did. How can people live with these secrets?