This is tough....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact that you don’t mention the welfare of first kids in your OP speaks volumes. They should be your first, second and third considerations.

IF you have lots of $$, energy, strong coparenting history, proximity, etc. then they stand a chance.

Women with small who remarry don't get the same criticism

What a woman who has a 12 and 14 year and is willing to have another child to make new spouse happy? Yes they also get criticism.

I had child #2 when child #1 was 10. Works great for us, but I was 34 and not 50.

Let me tell you about how a different situation worked out well for me . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is tough.....I met a woman a few months ago and she is amazing and a catch....here is the issue I know she wants to get married one day and have at least a child. I have been divorced for 2 years and I am 46 and have 2 kids aged 12 and 14. My girlfriend is 34. I thought I was done with marriage and kids .....but for my current GF I would change my mind....But then reality hit...Can I be a good dad st 50 like I was with my first kids? It's tough to say.....Or maybe I am attracted to her fertility so much so that find myself playing with little kids again like the first time I was a dad

I’m the guy who started this thread https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1211836.page

Don’t listen to the overwhelming negative responses here. Do your own research and know yourself. Talk to your partner. Understand the risks the pros and cons and make a joint decision.

There are plenty of great first time dads 50+ who raise healthy children.

The women of dcum is *not* who you want to seek advice from. Talk to friends family therapist doctors professionals who don’t have an inherent bias against middle age men who want kids.

I made a very transparent and straightforward OLD profile putting out what I’m looking for and believe it or not I got more matches and great conversations from high quality beautiful educated and professional women in the past one week than in the past 6mo of OLD having a generic profile that didn’t specify exactly what I’m looking for. 3 more dates scheduled for the weekend and also had one last night with a mid 30s beautiful single mom dentist who wants one more.

If you’ve been a great dad first time around you will be better dad second time around.

I’m going to be 50 soon but my overall health and energy is very much on par with my late 30s/40s it’s important to stay healthy because as you know the little ones will tire you out. And you don’t want to be that dad who puts it all on the mom and disconnects from his responsibilities. If you feel your health is good know that you have a solid 20-25yrs of life, healthy life if you take care of yourself. which is plenty to raise another kid.

Don't listen to this guy either. So selfish

[Anonymous]

Women tend to be the caregivers, so if one remarries and has another child, she is more likely to be the one raising it, so it's dumb for a couple of you to say "if it were a woman..." Also leaving out the age factor, which is why she more than likely WOULDN'T have another child.

If we're talking about some 33yo divorced dad, that's way different than one who is over 40.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Focus on your two kids who need you now and who you need to help launch.

The bitter ex wife has entered the chat ...

dp Wow. You are clearly sexist and misogynic. Who said anything about a "bitter" ex wife? For all we know the wife wanted the divorce. Most women are the ones to initiate it you know. Op's first responsibilities are to the children he already has. And even he admitted he didn't want any more.

[Anonymous]

OP - can you please respond to previous question about finances? Are there college funds for 2 older kids, can you afford a new house with new wife, a 3rd college fund; and split your retirement in divorce ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You want to start over at 50? No. You're not thinking straight.

+100

[Anonymous]

Why would she be interested in you? You all are at different stages in life. She must be insecure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - can you please respond to previous question about finances? Are there college funds for 2 older kids, can you afford a new house with new wife, a 3rd college fund; and split your retirement in divorce ?

He probably has nothing saved for the first 2 kids. Sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact that you don’t mention the welfare of first kids in your OP speaks volumes. They should be your first, second and third considerations.

IF you have lots of $$, energy, strong coparenting history, proximity, etc. then they stand a chance.

Yes…sounds like he does not give a shi¥ about his first kids. Poor kids. Selfish so-called dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking down the road...

Your oldest is getting married and at the wedding you're trying to distract the kiddo with iPad games.

Your grandchildren are infants and your older kids could use some help but your new set of kids are still youngish, living at home and need you to run carpool for their sports practice.

You'll be working longer than you anticipated, sayonara early retirement, because college is only getting more expensive every year and extracurricular activities are also $$$.

Will there still be family vacations? With which kids?

I always hear the same old "I'm X (old) age, but I feel like I did when I was 20s/30s/40s. from men." As someone that works with an elderly population, after 50 (which isn't even very old) your health can turn on a dime at any given time. Just like that. One fall, one cancer diagnosis, one heart condition that pops up. You don't bounce back like your youth, you can deteriorate quickly.

The fact that men never seem to think about these very realistic potential outcomes is so sadly pathetic.

Sad but true. This!

[Anonymous]

Op..doesn’t a chunk of your earnings already go to child support? How can you afford a second kid? Let alone afford college for all kids. Wait…you don’t and do can’t afford to provide. Noticed you have not responded yet. Loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - can you please respond to previous question about finances? Are there college funds for 2 older kids, can you afford a new house with new wife, a 3rd college fund; and split your retirement in divorce ?

There is none which is why he has not responded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - can you please respond to previous question about finances? Are there college funds for 2 older kids, can you afford a new house with new wife, a 3rd college fund; and split your retirement in divorce ?

There is none which is why he has not responded.

The only men who I know personally who did this (kids after 50 or even 70) were very elite wealthy men with over $10mm net worth for sure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - can you please respond to previous question about finances? Are there college funds for 2 older kids, can you afford a new house with new wife, a 3rd college fund; and split your retirement in divorce ?

There is none which is why he has not responded.

+1
But he can soothe the stress of not having enough with the joy of a new baby. It never makes practical sense but he'll worry about that later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - can you please respond to previous question about finances? Are there college funds for 2 older kids, can you afford a new house with new wife, a 3rd college fund; and split your retirement in divorce ?

OP here. College funds are okay, 100k for each child. I just closed on a new house couple of months ago. Retirement is okay as well.