This is tough....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How will your 12 and 14 year old feel about it?

I wouldn't want to run the risk of alienating older kids at that age.

Unless they really love babies, odds are not great of them becoming close step-siblings. It's a big age gap.

When I’ve seen this play out they will just stay at moms house and avoid the chaos at dads. They also don’t want to get stuck with babysitting. They will definitely resent him since he will not have much time for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You'd be a better dad because you will have more patience, and you have the wisdom of your years - you wouldn't worry about what other people think of your parenting, you wouldn't freak at how the baby always looks to the right, or goes through a phase of only liking white foods, or whatever else. Sure, you could be a good dad at 50.

Actually, on the contrary, he will be a less patient dad at 50 and he was at 40.

+1. You sound immature with one failed marriage already. Focus on parenting the kids you already created and date someone your own age.

[Anonymous]

Raising kids is hard. I had mine in my 30s and they’re older teens now. I cannot imagine going back to babies, diapers, etc, especially now that my kids are independent and I have a lot more freedom and flexibility to focus on myself. It was a wonderful time, and I really enjoy little kids (and am nostalgic about those early days with my babies) but I’m in a different life stage now.

[Anonymous]

I would not do this to your current kids. They won’t be launched yet and you’ll be consumed by a newborn just as they are in a tumultuous and difficult phase. Really, this will very negatively affect your existing children. If you’re a good father, you would prioritize them.

[Anonymous]

You would be 70 when they graduate college.

Your kids will feel replaced.

Baby would be at higher risk for genetic problems (make sure to see a good genetic counselor. This is a serious issue. My friend has many difficulties, unlike his much older siblings, because his parents accidentally had him when they were older).

[Anonymous]

You want to start over at 50? No. You're not thinking straight.

[Anonymous]

she wants to get married one day and have at least a child

Be real. She needs to get married now and have a child immediately. Due to her age. Do not waste her time. You will not be a good person for wasting her time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is tough.....I met a woman a few months ago and she is amazing and a catch....here is the issue I know she wants to get married one day and have at least a child. I have been divorced for 2 years and I am 46 and have 2 kids aged 12 and 14. My girlfriend is 34. I thought I was done with marriage and kids .....but for my current GF I would change my mind....But then reality hit...Can I be a good dad st 50 like I was with my first kids? It's tough to say.....Or maybe I am attracted to her fertility so much so that find myself playing with little kids again like the first time I was a dad

I’m the guy who started this thread https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1211836.page

Don’t listen to the overwhelming negative responses here. Do your own research and know yourself. Talk to your partner. Understand the risks the pros and cons and make a joint decision.

There are plenty of great first time dads 50+ who raise healthy children.

The women of dcum is *not* who you want to seek advice from. Talk to friends family therapist doctors professionals who don’t have an inherent bias against middle age men who want kids.

I made a very transparent and straightforward OLD profile putting out what I’m looking for and believe it or not I got more matches and great conversations from high quality beautiful educated and professional women in the past one week than in the past 6mo of OLD having a generic profile that didn’t specify exactly what I’m looking for. 3 more dates scheduled for the weekend and also had one last night with a mid 30s beautiful single mom dentist who wants one more.

If you’ve been a great dad first time around you will be better dad second time around.

I’m going to be 50 soon but my overall health and energy is very much on par with my late 30s/40s it’s important to stay healthy because as you know the little ones will tire you out. And you don’t want to be that dad who puts it all on the mom and disconnects from his responsibilities. If you feel your health is good know that you have a solid 20-25yrs of life, healthy life if you take care of yourself. which is plenty to raise another kid.

I'm a woman, and heartily agree with this guy. Most posters on DCUM seem to be reflexively against men who want a second family after divorce. They seem to believe the children of the first marriage will be automatically traumatized (well with that attitude, yes!). But they also sneer at women who get married early and have kids young (as in, a biologically healthy age). Basically on DCUM you're doing it wrong if you're not advancing your education and career in your 20s, getting married in your 30s, enjoying a few years of childfree life together, then having kids at 35 exactly, and stop having kids at 40 exactly. After which you need to shut down the baby factory by law. And the man cannot be more than 5 years older than the woman, and they need to have reasonably similar backgrounds and income otherwise they're doomed.

Garbage. I and so many other people are living proof that you can do things differently and be successful and happy.

OP, beyond assessing your health, consider your finances and that of your ex and potential fiancee. Money is the most important predictor of happiness when you have dependents, because a lot of the stressors can be outsourced. If you lead a healthy life, don't have a genetic sword of Damocles hanging over your head from your parents, and are lucky enough to be financially stable... then why wouldn't you have a second family if you want one?

You only have one life. Make the most of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is tough.....I met a woman a few months ago and she is amazing and a catch....here is the issue I know she wants to get married one day and have at least a child. I have been divorced for 2 years and I am 46 and have 2 kids aged 12 and 14. My girlfriend is 34. I thought I was done with marriage and kids .....but for my current GF I would change my mind....But then reality hit...Can I be a good dad st 50 like I was with my first kids? It's tough to say.....Or maybe I am attracted to her fertility so much so that find myself playing with little kids again like the first time I was a dad

I’m the guy who started this thread https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1211836.page

Don’t listen to the overwhelming negative responses here. Do your own research and know yourself. Talk to your partner. Understand the risks the pros and cons and make a joint decision.

There are plenty of great first time dads 50+ who raise healthy children.

The women of dcum is *not* who you want to seek advice from. Talk to friends family therapist doctors professionals who don’t have an inherent bias against middle age men who want kids.

I made a very transparent and straightforward OLD profile putting out what I’m looking for and believe it or not I got more matches and great conversations from high quality beautiful educated and professional women in the past one week than in the past 6mo of OLD having a generic profile that didn’t specify exactly what I’m looking for. 3 more dates scheduled for the weekend and also had one last night with a mid 30s beautiful single mom dentist who wants one more.

If you’ve been a great dad first time around you will be better dad second time around.

I’m going to be 50 soon but my overall health and energy is very much on par with my late 30s/40s it’s important to stay healthy because as you know the little ones will tire you out. And you don’t want to be that dad who puts it all on the mom and disconnects from his responsibilities. If you feel your health is good know that you have a solid 20-25yrs of life, healthy life if you take care of yourself. which is plenty to raise another kid.

I'm a woman, and heartily agree with this guy. Most posters on DCUM seem to be reflexively against men who want a second family after divorce. They seem to believe the children of the first marriage will be automatically traumatized (well with that attitude, yes!). But they also sneer at women who get married early and have kids young (as in, a biologically healthy age). Basically on DCUM you're doing it wrong if you're not advancing your education and career in your 20s, getting married in your 30s, enjoying a few years of childfree life together, then having kids at 35 exactly, and stop having kids at 40 exactly. After which you need to shut down the baby factory by law. And the man cannot be more than 5 years older than the woman, and they need to have reasonably similar backgrounds and income otherwise they're doomed.

Garbage. I and so many other people are living proof that you can do things differently and be successful and happy.

OP, beyond assessing your health, consider your finances and that of your ex and potential fiancee. Money is the most important predictor of happiness when you have dependents, because a lot of the stressors can be outsourced. If you lead a healthy life, don't have a genetic sword of Damocles hanging over your head from your parents, and are lucky enough to be financially stable... then why wouldn't you have a second family if you want one?

You only have one life. Make the most of it.

Typical selfish American. Not thinking of the current and would-be kids. It’s all only about your happiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is tough.....I met a woman a few months ago and she is amazing and a catch....here is the issue I know she wants to get married one day and have at least a child. I have been divorced for 2 years and I am 46 and have 2 kids aged 12 and 14. My girlfriend is 34. I thought I was done with marriage and kids .....but for my current GF I would change my mind....But then reality hit...Can I be a good dad st 50 like I was with my first kids? It's tough to say.....Or maybe I am attracted to her fertility so much so that find myself playing with little kids again like the first time I was a dad

I’m the guy who started this thread https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1211836.page

Don’t listen to the overwhelming negative responses here. Do your own research and know yourself. Talk to your partner. Understand the risks the pros and cons and make a joint decision.

There are plenty of great first time dads 50+ who raise healthy children.

The women of dcum is *not* who you want to seek advice from. Talk to friends family therapist doctors professionals who don’t have an inherent bias against middle age men who want kids.

I made a very transparent and straightforward OLD profile putting out what I’m looking for and believe it or not I got more matches and great conversations from high quality beautiful educated and professional women in the past one week than in the past 6mo of OLD having a generic profile that didn’t specify exactly what I’m looking for. 3 more dates scheduled for the weekend and also had one last night with a mid 30s beautiful single mom dentist who wants one more.

If you’ve been a great dad first time around you will be better dad second time around.

I’m going to be 50 soon but my overall health and energy is very much on par with my late 30s/40s it’s important to stay healthy because as you know the little ones will tire you out. And you don’t want to be that dad who puts it all on the mom and disconnects from his responsibilities. If you feel your health is good know that you have a solid 20-25yrs of life, healthy life if you take care of yourself. which is plenty to raise another kid.

I'm a woman, and heartily agree with this guy. Most posters on DCUM seem to be reflexively against men who want a second family after divorce. They seem to believe the children of the first marriage will be automatically traumatized (well with that attitude, yes!). But they also sneer at women who get married early and have kids young (as in, a biologically healthy age). Basically on DCUM you're doing it wrong if you're not advancing your education and career in your 20s, getting married in your 30s, enjoying a few years of childfree life together, then having kids at 35 exactly, and stop having kids at 40 exactly. After which you need to shut down the baby factory by law. And the man cannot be more than 5 years older than the woman, and they need to have reasonably similar backgrounds and income otherwise they're doomed.

Garbage. I and so many other people are living proof that you can do things differently and be successful and happy.

OP, beyond assessing your health, consider your finances and that of your ex and potential fiancee. Money is the most important predictor of happiness when you have dependents, because a lot of the stressors can be outsourced. If you lead a healthy life, don't have a genetic sword of Damocles hanging over your head from your parents, and are lucky enough to be financially stable... then why wouldn't you have a second family if you want one?

You only have one life. Make the most of it.

Typical selfish American. Not thinking of the current and would-be kids. It’s all only about your happiness.

+1.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t do it it, but there are plenty who do. I have a friend who is 60 and he and his wife have 6-month-old twins. He does every single night shift and gives his wife the time for 9-10 hours of sleep per night, 2x weekly hair blowouts at the salon, other beauty appointments, and at least 1x per week to take her mom to medical appts, etc.

They have a part time babysitter who they only use when they have to work at the aame (they both do shift work).


To each their own!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is tough.....I met a woman a few months ago and she is amazing and a catch....here is the issue I know she wants to get married one day and have at least a child. I have been divorced for 2 years and I am 46 and have 2 kids aged 12 and 14. My girlfriend is 34. I thought I was done with marriage and kids .....but for my current GF I would change my mind....But then reality hit...Can I be a good dad st 50 like I was with my first kids? It's tough to say.....Or maybe I am attracted to her fertility so much so that find myself playing with little kids again like the first time I was a dad

I’m the guy who started this thread https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1211836.page

Don’t listen to the overwhelming negative responses here. Do your own research and know yourself. Talk to your partner. Understand the risks the pros and cons and make a joint decision.

There are plenty of great first time dads 50+ who raise healthy children.

The women of dcum is *not* who you want to seek advice from. Talk to friends family therapist doctors professionals who don’t have an inherent bias against middle age men who want kids.

I made a very transparent and straightforward OLD profile putting out what I’m looking for and believe it or not I got more matches and great conversations from high quality beautiful educated and professional women in the past one week than in the past 6mo of OLD having a generic profile that didn’t specify exactly what I’m looking for. 3 more dates scheduled for the weekend and also had one last night with a mid 30s beautiful single mom dentist who wants one more.

If you’ve been a great dad first time around you will be better dad second time around.

I’m going to be 50 soon but my overall health and energy is very much on par with my late 30s/40s it’s important to stay healthy because as you know the little ones will tire you out. And you don’t want to be that dad who puts it all on the mom and disconnects from his responsibilities. If you feel your health is good know that you have a solid 20-25yrs of life, healthy life if you take care of yourself. which is plenty to raise another kid.

Look at that. Women like vulnerable men who share what they are thinking and feeling. Exactly like they say they do. Who knew?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t do it it, but there are plenty who do. I have a friend who is 60 and he and his wife have 6-month-old twins. He does every single night shift and gives his wife the time for 9-10 hours of sleep per night, 2x weekly hair blowouts at the salon, other beauty appointments, and at least 1x per week to take her mom to medical appts, etc.

They have a part time babysitter who they only use when they have to work at the aame (they both do shift work).


To each their own!

Holy shit 60 years old man with a 6 month old wow. But hey women used to wait until their 30s. Now they are waiting until their 40s. If they wait that long the pool of men willing to marry them and have children with them is obviously smaller. But of course they think men in their 20s and 30s will still line up for them. Nope while some will they will sadly have to take a look at some of the divorced men in their 40s and up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is tough.....I met a woman a few months ago and she is amazing and a catch....here is the issue I know she wants to get married one day and have at least a child. I have been divorced for 2 years and I am 46 and have 2 kids aged 12 and 14. My girlfriend is 34. I thought I was done with marriage and kids .....but for my current GF I would change my mind....But then reality hit...Can I be a good dad st 50 like I was with my first kids? It's tough to say.....Or maybe I am attracted to her fertility so much so that find myself playing with little kids again like the first time I was a dad

I’m the guy who started this thread https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1211836.page

Don’t listen to the overwhelming negative responses here. Do your own research and know yourself. Talk to your partner. Understand the risks the pros and cons and make a joint decision.

There are plenty of great first time dads 50+ who raise healthy children.

The women of dcum is *not* who you want to seek advice from. Talk to friends family therapist doctors professionals who don’t have an inherent bias against middle age men who want kids.

I made a very transparent and straightforward OLD profile putting out what I’m looking for and believe it or not I got more matches and great conversations from high quality beautiful educated and professional women in the past one week than in the past 6mo of OLD having a generic profile that didn’t specify exactly what I’m looking for. 3 more dates scheduled for the weekend and also had one last night with a mid 30s beautiful single mom dentist who wants one more.

If you’ve been a great dad first time around you will be better dad second time around.

I’m going to be 50 soon but my overall health and energy is very much on par with my late 30s/40s it’s important to stay healthy because as you know the little ones will tire you out. And you don’t want to be that dad who puts it all on the mom and disconnects from his responsibilities. If you feel your health is good know that you have a solid 20-25yrs of life, healthy life if you take care of yourself. which is plenty to raise another kid.

Look at that. Women like vulnerable men who share what they are thinking and feeling. Exactly like they say they do. Who knew?

I’m skeptical that that guy’s profile contained all the same train-wreck ideas he posted here.

[Anonymous]

OP don't do it. When a woman wants a child badly she will compromise without realizing it. That desire for a child is very strong to extreme in some women who feel that they don't have a lot of time. And if you are a man who sadly find yourself with one of those women you will be the backup option and you know the rest a few years done the line. I am not generalizing I am saying some women not all.