This is tough....

[Anonymous]

This is tough.....I met a woman a few months ago and she is amazing and a catch....here is the issue I know she wants to get married one day and have at least a child. I have been divorced for 2 years and I am 46 and have 2 kids aged 12 and 14. My girlfriend is 34. I thought I was done with marriage and kids .....but for my current GF I would change my mind....But then reality hit...Can I be a good dad st 50 like I was with my first kids? It's tough to say.....Or maybe I am attracted to her fertility so much so that find myself playing with little kids again like the first time I was a dad

[Anonymous]

You'd be a better dad because you will have more patience, and you have the wisdom of your years - you wouldn't worry about what other people think of your parenting, you wouldn't freak at how the baby always looks to the right, or goes through a phase of only liking white foods, or whatever else. Sure, you could be a good dad at 50.

[Anonymous]

I think you’re crazy to consider this because there are numerous problems with men being over 40 let alone your age. It drastically increases the risk of autism and schizophrenia.

I’m a 46-year-old woman and would never consider having another kid. Think about how that would impact the children you already have as well. Just no.

She’s only 34; she can find a man for under 40.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You'd be a better dad because you will have more patience, and you have the wisdom of your years - you wouldn't worry about what other people think of your parenting, you wouldn't freak at how the baby always looks to the right, or goes through a phase of only liking white foods, or whatever else. Sure, you could be a good dad at 50.

Actually, on the contrary, he will be a less patient dad at 50 and he was at 40.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re crazy to consider this because there are numerous problems with men being over 40 let alone your age. It drastically increases the risk of autism and schizophrenia.

I’m a 46-year-old woman and would never consider having another kid. Think about how that would impact the children you already have as well. Just no.

She’s only 34; she can find a man for under 40.

What do you have against over 40 🙁 men like me?

[Anonymous]

This is so classic .... Why women never make that mistake? Brother don't do it

[Anonymous]

I…wouldn’t…..do……it……

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so classic .... Why women never make that mistake? Brother don't do it

They love their kids too much

[Anonymous]

No one can predict the future, but don’t do something that in your heart you want to do. None of us know how much energy we will have for kids before the time comes. Just put one foot in front of the other. You will figure it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re crazy to consider this because there are numerous problems with men being over 40 let alone your age. It drastically increases the risk of autism and schizophrenia.

I’m a 46-year-old woman and would never consider having another kid. Think about how that would impact the children you already have as well. Just no.

She’s only 34; she can find a man for under 40.

What do you have against over 40 🙁 men like me?

I have nothing against you except I don’t think it’s fair to your kids to have another kid and I don’t think it’s a good idea to have a baby at your age. Your relationship with your girlfriend will change and it will be disaster. It’s not too late to find a guy closer to her own age to have kids with. I think you’d both be settling and then in 10 years you’re gonna end up divorced again.

[Anonymous]

Focus on your two kids who need you now and who you need to help launch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Focus on your two kids who need you now and who you need to help launch.

+1 exactly!

I’m glad my ex-husband isn’t dumb enough to even consider something like this. He is 50. We divorced when he was 46 and he did not date 30s women for this exact reason. Different life stages: he’s done with marriage and kids and not taking anything away from the current kids that he has.

[Anonymous]

OP here...I have wrestled with the same questions you guys are raising. This is also discouraging because at our age it's already difficult to find a lifelong partner...

[Anonymous]

Don't throw away love, OP. But don't lie either. Tell her there is no guarantee that you will ever want a 3rd.

My husband is older than you and would like nothing better than having a third.

But it's not happening. Apparently I can't have another. I've had 3 miscarriages in 3 years.
She might have trouble too.

[Anonymous]

Oh wow. I’m 43, and my kids are your kids ages. You should know that men’s roles in housework and childcare have changed a LOT in the last 10 years. Men are expected to be fully involved whenever they are home even if they have a demanding job outside the home, and even if their wives are SAHMs.