This is tough....

[Anonymous]

OP here again. I am not worried about the financials. I am paying child support and my kids are not lacking anything nor will I neglect them if I have another child. As I said it is not my intention to remarry and have more kids but I really love my current girlfriend and if she says she wants to marry because she wants a child I would do it. But of course I am worried being a new dad all over again as I am entering my 50s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - can you please respond to previous question about finances? Are there college funds for 2 older kids, can you afford a new house with new wife, a 3rd college fund; and split your retirement in divorce ?

OP here. College funds are okay, 100k for each child. I just closed on a new house couple of months ago. Retirement is okay as well.

100K each is not much actually. And the new wife would request adding her to the title of your new house, or buying a new house together. Also, the question on the retirement was different: is what you have now sufficient to live through 75 at least with the same spent? Can you afford losing some part of your newly accumulated retirement (e.g. during marriage), if it ends in divorce?

Also, important is if she works and how much she's making relative you, and if she expects to be SAHM

[Anonymous]

Don’t listen to the angry and traumatized women on DCUM.
Follow your heart. 50 isn’t old to have another child. Many men have children in their 50s and they are all fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t listen to the angry and traumatized women on DCUM.
Follow your heart. 50 isn’t old to have another child. Many men have children in their 50s and they are all fine.

"Do you have 'Data' on this?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t listen to the angry and traumatized women on DCUM.
Follow your heart. 50 isn’t old to have another child. Many men have children in their 50s and they are all fine.

Translation: Women are too old to have kids at that age, but men are just fine...despite the fact women outlive men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. I am not worried about the financials. I am paying child support and my kids are not lacking anything nor will I neglect them if I have another child. As I said it is not my intention to remarry and have more kids but I really love my current girlfriend and if she says she wants to marry because she wants a child I would do it. But of course I am worried being a new dad all over again as I am entering my 50s.

Don’t do it. You wanna be almost 70 at your kids HS graduation? Nahhhhhh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t listen to the angry and traumatized women on DCUM.
Follow your heart. 50 isn’t old to have another child. Many men have children in their 50s and they are all fine.

Translation: Women are too old to have kids at that age, but men are just fine...despite the fact women outlive men.

Translation. Women are bitter than if a 50 years old want another child he can go find a woman under 40.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - can you please respond to previous question about finances? Are there college funds for 2 older kids, can you afford a new house with new wife, a 3rd college fund; and split your retirement in divorce ?

OP here. College funds are okay, 100k for each child. I just closed on a new house couple of months ago. Retirement is okay as well.

100K each is not much actually. And the new wife would request adding her to the title of your new house, or buying a new house together. Also, the question on the retirement was different: is what you have now sufficient to live through 75 at least with the same spent? Can you afford losing some part of your newly accumulated retirement (e.g. during marriage), if it ends in divorce?

Also, important is if she works and how much she's making relative you, and if she expects to be SAHM

I am not OP but y'all are crazy....100k is enough for 3 years at a decent public university.

[Anonymous]

OP - I have the same age difference in my marriage. Our second kid was born when DH was your age, If you’re going to do this, hurry up. You’ll be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I have the same age difference in my marriage. Our second kid was born when DH was your age, If you’re going to do this, hurry up. You’ll be fine.

OP here thank you for sharing your experience. I'm 46 now and I won't make her wait. If our relationship continues the way it's been in the next 6 months I'll def propose to her. She is everything my ex wife wasn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I have the same age difference in my marriage. Our second kid was born when DH was your age, If you’re going to do this, hurry up. You’ll be fine.

OP here thank you for sharing your experience. I'm 46 now and I won't make her wait. If our relationship continues the way it's been in the next 6 months I'll def propose to her. She is everything my ex wife wasn't.

A few messages up thread, you said you’d marry her if she wanted to have a kid, now you’re saying you’re proposing in six months. You’re either unstable, riding a hormonal rollercoaster, or a troll. I’m guessing the first. Please regain your sense of self before introducing another child into the world. Your girlfriend may be lovely but is a real human with massive faults and you’ll realize that one day, hopefully sooner rather than later. Were you also madly in love with your ex? Just because someone is “all your ex wasn’t” doesn’t mean she doesn’t have other issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Focus on your two kids who need you now and who you need to help launch.

OP, they are telling you that your kids and ex wife would strongly object.

Tell this to your girlfriend, and your dilemma will be solved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. I am not worried about the financials. I am paying child support and my kids are not lacking anything nor will I neglect them if I have another child. As I said it is not my intention to remarry and have more kids but I really love my current girlfriend and if she says she wants to marry because she wants a child I would do it. But of course I am worried being a new dad all over again as I am entering my 50s.

I think it would be very hard not to neglect them in some way if you have more children. I mean, in some ways, having a baby is easy. You can drag them along to stuff your older kids are doing.
But when your second set of kids is 12 and 14, and your current kids are young adults, you aren’t really going to be able to be around.

Should you give up on marriage and having a second family so that you can be around when your kids sporadically need you? I don’t know. But don’t pretend there are no downsides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. I am not worried about the financials. I am paying child support and my kids are not lacking anything nor will I neglect them if I have another child. As I said it is not my intention to remarry and have more kids but I really love my current girlfriend and if she says she wants to marry because she wants a child I would do it. But of course I am worried being a new dad all over again as I am entering my 50s.

So you’ve got at best a little over a year of college saved for your children at today’s cost and you are already thinking about starting a new family? Grow up. You sound like a troll or a loser.

[Anonymous]

I’m a woman, and no bitterness or jealousy is causing me to feel creeped out by your post. You seem to be acting on impulse and not thinking clearly. Every child deserves careful consideration, and keep in mind that situations change….one of your children may have increased needs and you may struggle to provide if torn between two families. Please - Do right by the kids you currently have and wait and see if girlfriend situation stands the test of time. Don’t be a deadbeat or get into a situation where girlfriend takes all.