Bragging vs. honest celebrating

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're waiting on decisions and aren't the selective schools types anyway, so this is a very academic question - but where's the line? We're not really HYP people, but if DS really wanted to go and got in, I would be over the moon for him. Same for his high reaches that probably aren't impressive to anyone here. Just curious.

If you do it in house, it's a celebration. If you do it outside/social media, you are bragging.

[Anonymous]

All the braggers swear it’s not braggy.

[Anonymous]

Why can't we just be happy for the kids and their families and just celebrate where they got in?

Are you only allowed to post and rejoice publicly if your kid goes to a CC or prusues a trade?

This sounds more like jealousy to me and a bigger issue on the perception than the person doing it.

Your kid got into HYPSM...great, good for them and I hope they have a great time.

Your kid decided to go to CC that is great, and I hope they have a great time.

See.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can't we just be happy for the kids and their families and just celebrate where they got in?

Are you only allowed to post and rejoice publicly if your kid goes to a CC or prusues a trade?

This sounds more like jealousy to me and a bigger issue on the perception than the person doing it.

Your kid got into HYPSM...great, good for them and I hope they have a great time.

Your kid decided to go to CC that is great, and I hope they have a great time.

See.

^ This! I can't imagine that people really care where your kid goes to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there anyone on here who agrees posting where your kid got in is ok AND they don’t post many of their kids’ accomplishments?

From these responses, I guess there are two camps:

1. People who think it’s great to celebrate big and little accomplishments and if the reader or hearer doesn’t like it, too bad.

2. People who think it’s braggy to post accomplishments because people don’t want to hear about it and all people close enough to you will already know or soon know where your child is going (from conversations where it naturally comes up, HS announces it, from other friends, etc.)

That would be me. I don’t have social media presence, so I don’t post any of my kids’ accomplishments, but I have no problem with other people doing so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can't we just be happy for the kids and their families and just celebrate where they got in?

Are you only allowed to post and rejoice publicly if your kid goes to a CC or prusues a trade?

This sounds more like jealousy to me and a bigger issue on the perception than the person doing it.

Your kid got into HYPSM...great, good for them and I hope they have a great time.

Your kid decided to go to CC that is great, and I hope they have a great time.

See.

Do you understand people are talking about posting every acceptance! in real time! we're all saying a "one and done" post about where your kid is going to college is fine. But nobody cares about the tick tock of your lives..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can't we just be happy for the kids and their families and just celebrate where they got in?

Are you only allowed to post and rejoice publicly if your kid goes to a CC or prusues a trade?

This sounds more like jealousy to me and a bigger issue on the perception than the person doing it.

Your kid got into HYPSM...great, good for them and I hope they have a great time.

Your kid decided to go to CC that is great, and I hope they have a great time.

See.

I love when a mirror is hold up to the braggers, they simply deflect and claim it sounds like a jealousy, perception, issue with not celebrating another kid’s accomplishments, someone who can’t feel happy with others, etc. it’s none of those things. It’s that we don’t need to see every little thing as if I’m your mom.

[Anonymous]

Not sharing where you're going to college is like announcing that you're getting married but not sharing the groom for fear other will be jealous. It's just bizarre behavior.

You either don't post any info at all or tell people you're excited to marry Bob. They congratulate you. Boom. Done.

[Anonymous]

People have the right to announce acceptances any way they’d like. Negativity on how it’s received reflects insecurity. Plain and simple.

[Anonymous]

It’s only 9/19! Getta grip!

[Anonymous]

I saw a lot of people start posting where their kid was going on "college acceptance day."

Someone wrote it in their holiday card. It's not that people don't want to know - it's that no one likes social media anymore anymore. Facebook is over haha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there anyone on here who agrees posting where your kid got in is ok AND they don’t post many of their kids’ accomplishments?

From these responses, I guess there are two camps:

1. People who think it’s great to celebrate big and little accomplishments and if the reader or hearer doesn’t like it, too bad.

2. People who think it’s braggy to post accomplishments because people don’t want to hear about it and all people close enough to you will already know or soon know where your child is going (from conversations where it naturally comes up, HS announces it, from other friends, etc.)

I never post about my kids’ accomplishments and I’m one of the posters who enjoys hearing about the success of other people’s kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who videotaped and posted her DD seeing her Harvard acceptance for the first time, including the screaming, cry, hugging. It felt...weird. Racked up hundreds of likes and congrats, though.

Very common now for all schools. If a mother doesn’t do it,friends do

[Anonymous]

I'm a HSYP grad at the age when my classmates and I have kids applying to college. I just saw a college drop off pic/post by one of my only college friends whose kid got accepted to our school. I know that the kids of several classmates of ours were rejected. I don't hold it against my one friend for posting those pics though. It was very tastefully done, with just a picture of mom and dad with kid standing in the dorm room with lots of boxes to unpack. We all recognized which dorm it was from the windows, which was fun. The message was about how excited they are and wishing her success. It wasn't a congratulations for kicking butt and getting accepted sort of post, which I think really matters.

What I really don't like to see are people posting to congratulate their kid for the 5+ acceptance letters from colleges that accept 75%+ of applicants. Big whoop. Even if they'd been accepted to a selective school, I wouldn't really want to hear about it. But I definitely don't want to be expected to play along with your little charade about what an amazing accomplishment it is to get into a college that accepts everyone who submits a complete application. We don't congratulate people for having signed up and joined the recreational soccer team for 12-yr-olds as if they'd won a coveted spot on the Olympic training squad. I might be happy about all the fun that kid will have playing soccer. But don't ask me to congratulate them. It sends a weird message to kids when we need them to get admitted to a college that is very difficult to get into. The emphasis should be on supporting them as they transition to college, not on the fact that they "won" a spot somewhere selective, or worse, pretending that they did when they didn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a HSYP grad at the age when my classmates and I have kids applying to college. I just saw a college drop off pic/post by one of my only college friends whose kid got accepted to our school. I know that the kids of several classmates of ours were rejected. I don't hold it against my one friend for posting those pics though. It was very tastefully done, with just a picture of mom and dad with kid standing in the dorm room with lots of boxes to unpack. We all recognized which dorm it was from the windows, which was fun. The message was about how excited they are and wishing her success. It wasn't a congratulations for kicking butt and getting accepted sort of post, which I think really matters.

What I really don't like to see are people posting to congratulate their kid for the 5+ acceptance letters from colleges that accept 75%+ of applicants. Big whoop. Even if they'd been accepted to a selective school, I wouldn't really want to hear about it. But I definitely don't want to be expected to play along with your little charade about what an amazing accomplishment it is to get into a college that accepts everyone who submits a complete application. We don't congratulate people for having signed up and joined the recreational soccer team for 12-yr-olds as if they'd won a coveted spot on the Olympic training squad. I might be happy about all the fun that kid will have playing soccer. But don't ask me to congratulate them. It sends a weird message to kids when we need them to get admitted to a college that is very difficult to get into. The emphasis should be on supporting them as they transition to college, not on the fact that they "won" a spot somewhere selective, or worse, pretending that they did when they didn't.

This is super mean spirited. Kids overcome all sorts of hurdles to even get into college at all, from learning disabilities, to trauma, to lower IQ or processing issues, to health issues, to mental health issues, to economic or family instabilities, or even to maturity. Parents can be proud of their kid even for going to the local CC. They may have "won" just by making it out of high school and choosing to try college. Get off your HSYP high horse.